What do you really know about Pokemon? Lemme tell you this: Nintendo LIES. They say they faint, but is that true? Everything dies at one point. Anyway, I picked up a copy of Pokemon X, which I didn't know existed, and when I first saw it, I knew I had to have it. The start was like Black or White, but instead of Reshiram or Zekrom, it had Banette. I soon learned why. When the game started up, NPCs would either say one letter of Banette, say "Death is from the doll," or ask me to borrow an escape rope to hang themselves. If I said yes, a live action video would play showing them hanging themselves. If I said no, they said "Screw you. Won't you let me escape from this living Hell?"
Prof. Juniper (Heh, Black and White. Bet that's why the startup was like B+W.) was not in her lab, only a grave in her spot. It read, 'This world is being destroyed by the doll. Take one of the pokemon here in the lab and see if you can cease the damned thing.' I was surprised that they would use such language in a kid's game. After I chose Oshawott, I walked out of the lab. A black shape flew straight at me. On contact, a battle started with a wild level 100 Banette. I thought 'WTF Nintendo!? A LEVEL 5 OSHAWOTT VERSUS A LEVEL 100 BANETTE!? WTF!?' When it damaged my Oshawott with Bullet Punch, blood flew off my Oshawott and onto the screen. WTF is with that?!?! "Oshawott was sent to Hell!" the game said. Banette then used Machine Gun. (SERIOUSLY? Is that even a move?) But there was no pokemon in battle......? "Banette aimed at you!" Dammit. "Red died!" The game then shut itself off. But the next 19 times I played Pokemon X, instead of Pokemon X at the top of the screen, it said Pokemon DIED. BTW,
IT'S COMING FOR YOU NEXT............ NEVER BUY POKEMON X.
Credited to Mew the Epic
|Comments • 0|