Professor Oak's House.exe
My name is Jessica. I was a huge Pokemon fangirl, above any else. I especially loved Pokemon Blue, the verry second one (the first was Poket Monster Red Version). My mom came into the inside of my room and brought even a plate of eggs and toastfor me to eat with my mouth. I was enthralled by my breakfats, so enthralled that I lost track of the time! My dumbass stupid fucking idiot brother brought me to school that day (he's actually cool I just hate him because) and then he brought me to school, so I whipped out m Gameboy Colour, and realized I didn't have ANY games for it. My best friend ever Sabrina (that's her real name in real life) slappred the Game & Watch ou t for of my hands and onto the floor boards. "What are you, some BABY that plays BABY GAMES?! If you like Pokemon so much, get your self a REAL game!" She then handed me a blank Pokemon Blue cratridge,,,,,,,,,,,, with even duct tape on it with the word PROFFESER written on it. I laughed like a maniac. Sabrina look at me in concern and ask'd me "Why it's so funy!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" I looked at her and shoved the cartridge in her face REALLYaggressively. I said with a smile on my face "This is one of tho SPOOKY SPAGHETTI STORIES isn't it???? Youre (you are) praankign me with a fake cartridge caliaming it to be HAUNTED????" She said "Yes." I punched her in the stomach and she got arrested for it. I whipped my large, heavy, thick gameboy out on the screen and shoved the cartrudgw inside of the slot atb the top. That was the worst mistake of my life.
I booted up the game. It did not work. I blow the cartridge and shove it back in the cartridge slut.................. AND IT WAS SO SCARY I WILL SHIT BRICKS AT THE END OF THE STORY. The tittle screen had text at the top "Pokemon", text in the midlle saying "Blue version", and I was about to be convinced that it was the Pokemon Blue Version the one I grew up. But when I looked at the screen...... Professor Oak was there in place of the normal pokemon male trainer!!!! (his name is Red but I forgot when I was writing this). I was weeping, rolling on the floor, vomitting from pure stress. I just could not handle it anymore. WHY?!?!??!? WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!??!?! I held my stomach in anticipation.... for what awaited me NEXT..... WAS THE FILE SERECT SCLEEN. I was contemplating my existence at this point. The usual "New Game" button read as "New File". POKEMON ISNT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MULTIPLE SAVE FILES IN IT, JUST WHAT THE PHUCK WAS GOPING ON IN HERE???????? The rest of the screemn looked normale, aside from the blood splatters on the screen. And when I selected New FILE............ tehe game started IMMEDIATELY, no intro or NOTHING. Which confused me, because I thought the button said "New File", so I thought it was gonna have a file select screen in it or something. Kinda strange.
And then, I was greeted by the intro screeen
"Professor Oak wants milk because he is thirsty and he likes milk. He travels down to his sex dungeon to get his glass of milk, but unfortunately, the milk is tipped over on the ground so not all of it is in the bottle and also it's like a day old so he can't drink it because he's a fresh milk kinda guy. Now, he must travel to his old childhood house to find the only other bottle of milk known to exist. Blissfully unaware of what awaits him, Professor Oak trots along to his house to claim his treasure......"
I was weeping with fear at this point. Just WHAT was in that house?!?!?!? My gameboy was drenched in mytears (I was standing up while playing LMAO). Oh also I'm not at school anumore in this scene I'm back home. So game is now dtartring and now Professor Oak is within my conrol. I moved up (the only direction left on my d-pad, I ate the other ones when I was a kid) and then there was bloods EVERYWHERE. I knew that this houas was hanted IMMEDIATELY. I had to beat sweat off my eyebrowfrom becuse of how nervous I was. Bloods were practically GUSHING out of on of my game game boi. When I enter the dor in front of me, there is NOTHING but a room with television inside. The TV made fun of me and I hate it for this reason. I checked the tevelision and it gave me some SPOOKY DIALOGUE "It's a love story of two girls sharing a milkshake together. The movie is titled "2 girls, 1 cup"". I was so stressed, I was crying. My nose was all snooty. I used the sneak key to walk around all stealthily, waking and out of the room's outside.... And there was SUDDENLY A STAIR CASEWAS THERE. I pissing my pantaloons. I couldn't believe it all. WHY WAS THERE A STARE CASE. WHY ME???????
I reluctantly went into down the stairs, and what greented me was was the glass of milk I came for!!!! I was relived. I could finally escape this hell house, once and for some! I walk to the milk........................... AND THEN BLACK SCREEN. For approximately 52.38 hours......................,................... AND THEN THERE WERE figures STANING IN FRONT OF ME. One was a woman, she was the scariest of all because women are scary. And surrounding The Pokemon Professor were 5 pokemon. Was this WOMAN there trainer..? WHY DID NOT SHE HAVE A FULL TEAM OF 6????? I was gasping from a lack of air, she has scared me so much that I am even not gay any more!!!!!
She there was a dialogues saying "There can be only one, Professor." After that there was a LOUD scare chord playing at MAXIMUM VOLUME and then the battles screen started. Weird enou, it wasn't the female... but instead the Hypno that was one of the 5 pokemon surrounding me. When that battle screen started, it said "Hypno wants to fight". LIKE IF THE HYPNO WAS A TRAINER IMSTEAD OF A A POKEMONN. I was vomiting all over my Game Gear, I was so scared, I couldnt barely stood up. His level was Lv. 666, aka, THE SATANIC NUMBER 666. I just wanted out at this point. I pulled up my "FIGHT" options open and the options were "Bitch Slap", "Piss Pants", "Go Beyond", and "Leer". I knew this was out of the ordinary immediately, since NOBODY keeps Leer on their movesets as they level up!!!! Either that, or previous player was an DUMBASS. I chose Leer to lower the Hypor's defense (it's defense, not defence) and then the Hypno DIED. It's defense was lowered so much, it was lowered to negative ONE, and then it died becuse of this. One after the other, I fought each pokemans in a row, row row the boat, Persian, then Miltank, then Swampert, then Glaceon, all Lv. 666, all defeated with the move "Bitch Slap". Once they were dealt with, the WOMAN appeared before me... "PkMn Trainer Leaf wants to fight" immediately, I was scared for my life... i would have been shaking in my boots if i had boots on!!!!!! (Women are scary)
Her level was instead Lv. 333, AKA AN ANGEL NUMBER APPARENTLY. She was the savior i guess. She was DECAPITATED which was pretty funny honestly and then she used TRANSFORM, but instead of transforming to a professor sprite oak, it was a sprite recreation of ME. It was hyperrealistic too. And also decapitated still. I had BLOODS from leaking from my neck hole!!!! I wasn't very impressed with the graphics, they looked like shit. A distorted, slowed down, reversed version of MEGALOVANIA FROM UNDERTALE started to playing, and she beat me in the game. And it just faded to black with the same SCARE CHORD playing and then the gameboy EXPLODEDwithin my handss. I cries for hours (I was a sore loser) and also I was traumatized. I looked up from the pillow of which I was crying into........ AND IT WAS A PROFESSOR OAK PLUSHIE WITH HYPERREALISTIC BLOODY TEARS ON IT. And then I died in real life!!!!!! I was so upset about this. I punched Sabrina in the face the next day. Fuck Sabrina.
The End
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