Purple Blood

This is a parody of all those stupid 'mysterious ritual' stories going around. Don't take it seriously.

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If you go in the woods near mile marker 47 on Interstate 99, you should search for the beast. If you manage to kill this beast, you can live forever. I will tell you how. The month needs to be outside the hunting season. Take a military grade flamethrower and go into the woods. Look around until you find the beast. It should look like a giant humanoid squirrel. Hit it with the flamethrower. Take the blood out of it. It should be purple. Bottle the purple blood in a bottle made out of the finest elephant ivory and whale blubber. Drink the purple blood from the bottle. You will now be able to live forever. Many police cars will now be approaching you.

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