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So, one night, after posting on r/the_donald, I was getting reddy for beddy. But, before I closed my Tor
 
browser, a message popped up on Yahoo Messenger in my Tor browser. It said "DOWNLOAD BUY XBOXXX GAME TO SOLVE YER LIMP DICK"; immediately, I was intrigued. I clicked in a heartbeat, and it linked to a webpage that immediately opened up two new webpages. One was an Amazon page for anal beads. The other…other... well, my dear reader, that was the EVIL Rolf game. Well, the page to buy it, that is. On Amazon. It was called "Rolf and the Chipettes: The Revenge Part II Rise of the Sith Lord Jedi Known as Double D". The title confused the fuck out of me, but I spent my -0.5 pennies on it. It arrived the next minute in a capsule. I opened it and put it in my Xbox ('cause the story's title .xex, get it!?!/1!!?!? lolxd) and the title appeared before me (and also popped out). It featured all of my favorite characters from Edd, Edd, 'n Edd: John Wilkes Booth, Bizarro, Someone Else That's Not From Ed, Edd, n Eddy, and our favorite Rolf, Rolf.
 
I pressed the Start Button only to hear a spooky sound. Also the game started up. You played as (shocker) Rolf as he explores the world of Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, (record skip) Edd, n Eddy, such a deep universe, I tell you what. The game played like a 3D Platformer mixed with a Real Time Strategy game mixed with Bust-A-Move, for some reason. I had fun partially, because I FUCKING HATE Bust-A-Move sorta, it's kinda fun. After a while though, I was sick of this game's shit, so I punched the Xbox to get the game out, but then I realized that there was an Eject button, and punching the Xbox only caused the game to flip the fuck out. Rolf transformed into what I can only describe as Cthulhu meets Megatron meets Goat Simulator. Holy mother of god, this was too much for my brain.
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