Repercussions
I've never actually gotten along with people. I've always been the "mean one." The one who would never make a name for himself. Well, actually, I have made a name for myself. Bully. That's who I am, a bully, AND the victim. I don't like who I am, and I sure as hell don't like the things I've done, all the people I've hurt.. My friends, people I don't even know, my family.. The things I've said to mom.. I'm pretty sure that over time my mom will forgive me, but I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive myself. I've just done things that I can't take back. My name is Shaun Walker, 14, I have a mom who loves me no matter what, even after the things I've said to her.. Her name is Sophia, and I have a dad named Peter, he on the other hand, is not so forgiving. Beats me with any inanimate object that he can find, little thin vines in the backyard, a TV remote, A soup ladel, the list goes on and on.. His beatings are MOSTLY what trigger my anger, other than my own self being, I have a very hot temper, so I get angry easily.. Like I said before, I don't like who I am. It is exactly 11:24 at night, I SHOULD be in bed right now considering the fact that I have to go to school tomorrow, but there's a thought in my head, a thought that I can't rattle. Everytime I think about it I get chills. I don't understand why I can't just rest my eyes, It's been such a long day today, I'm exhausted from todays annual beating.. Come on Shaun.. Just rest your head on your pillow, close your eyes and.. And...
...
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
My eyes open, I reach my hand over to the right side of my bed and press the snooze button on my alarm clock. I'm fighting the urge to go back to bed, so with all my might I jump out of bed, head into the shower, eat my toast and cereal, grab my backpack and head out the door. While I'm walking down my block, I can't help but try to remember the dream I had last night. I remember almost jumping out of my bed with fear from my alarm clock because the dream was just too.. Different.. But then SNAP, I remember one certain portion of the dream. At the end of a long road, I remember seeing two trees that watch over the cement in my dream, and then a man.. Standing there.. With wide eyes, with nothing but black dots in the middle. Smiling at me.. And I then remember that there are two trees that watch over MY street, when I remember everything I look away from my feet into the distance, and right in front of me is a man with two black dots in his eyes smiling at me. I scream, SHRIEK actually and fall back. I look back up and nothing's there...
"What the fuck..." I say this out of breath, due to the fact that my heart is beating a billion times per second. And I slowly get back on my feet and look around, and then I keep walking. After a long ten minute walk, I arrive in the school parking lot, not excited at all to walk into the building of educational confinement. First thing I see are the little gossip girls standing outside the school giggling, and then to my left are a group of teenage boys playing basketball. I look away as I approach the front door. As soon as you walk into the school the first room you walk into is the cafeteria, this is where all the students wait to be dismissed to their classes, I walk slowly to the table where two maybe three of my only friends are sitting at.
"Hey guys."
"Sup Shaun."
I sit down next to my friend Zack and the rest of the time we just sit there. And say nothing...
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIING!
We pick up our backpacks laying on the ground and head to Current Events. The schedule is same as always, the same boring fucking schedule that I have to repeat five times a week.
0: Current Events
1: Math
2: Social Studies
3: Reproductive Health
4: Science
5: Reading
6: Drama
7: U.S. History
8: Gym
Second hour, on my way to Social Studies, once again tardy for class, I expect to get called down to the office by fifth hour. I'm about another corner around until I reach class but then I hear a noise in the science lab, and laughter, I soon figure out that the laughter is coming from the school jock, Brad. Fucking hate that guy, he does nothing but antagonize me, but out of pure curiosity I peek my head slowly out of the door way and of course, Brad is there, dicking around with his two friends. Wrong place, at the wrong time, I sneeze. Trying to hold it in, but of course, my cover is blown.
"The fuck you lookin at?"
"I- uhh, I- I wasn't looking at anything.."
"Oh is that so..?"
I nod, scared of how he's going to terrorize me this time.
"Bullshit, get him!"
I try to run, but Brad's athletic skill catches up to me, grabbing the collar of my shirt.
"Brad, let me go!"
"No chance kid!"
Brad throws me into a room filled with science equipment, Brad and his friends corner me. And I'm left with nothing to do.
"Brad come on, not today.. Pl- Please."
"What, you gonna cry? Huh? No ones gonna help ya!"
Brads friend walks up slowly and gives me a hard slap across the head.
"Do something you weak little SHIT!"
He slaps me again. Even harder this time.
"Come on! HIT ME!"
He slaps me even harder. I start breathing heavily, my face red, my veins popping out.
"HIT ME!"
He slaps me again.
"STOP."
He ignores my plead and continues.
"COME ON!"
He raises his fist and drives it towards my face...
"LEAVE. ME. THE FUCK ALONE!"
I catch his arm and connect my right fist to his left jaw. He collapses onto the ground, out cold, when suddenly Brads friend to my left charges towards me, I find a lab beaker to my right, and I crash it over his head. He falls to the ground, pulling out chunks of glass from his bloddied face.
"That's it GET OVER HERE."
Brad charges towards me, with both hands reached out, with intentions of choking me, but behind me I find a shelf with a bottle of hydrofluoric acid. Suddenly, out of pure desperation, I open the bottle and splash the liquid in his eyes. He falls back, crying, screaming, pleading for help.
"GAHH! MY EYES!!"
I stand there. Devastated over what I've just done, with no clue what to do. The principal runs to the source of the noises and see me standing up, and everyone else on the floor, groaning, screaming in pain.
"What.. Happened.."
I give him an empty stare, not sure what to say or do, I charge past him and run out of the school building. I run into an alley around the corner of the school, breathing heavily, hands shaking, tears streaming down my face.
"Oh.. My... What have I- I done. Oh n- no. Fuck.. Fuck.."
I start breathing heavily, when suddenly I scream with anger and punch the trash can in front of me.
"FUCK! WHAT DID YOU DO SHAUN! WHAT DID YOU DO!"
With a waterfall of tears cascading down my cheeks, I just cry, and scream.
"Come- com- come on Shaun... Just.. Just go home.. Do- Don't think about it. Just.. Just walk.. And go home..."
I wipe the tears from my face and walk out of the alley, heading towards my home. Not looking back.
...
I open the door, and sure enough, my mom is sitting on the living room couch, with a tissue, and my dad sitting next to her, looking at me, cracking his knuckles.
"Sit down. Son"
I slowly rest my back on the leather couch.
"Knocked a boy out cold, put the other one in the hospital, making him get 24 stitches, and permanately blinding an innocent young man."
"THEY HIT ME FIRST."
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
The whole room is silent. As my dad just stares at me. My mom stares at me and begins to speak.
"Ss- ss- sson. I- I- I am VERY disappointed in y- you."
My dad suddenly snaps, flies out of the couch, grabs my arm, and pulls me into the basement. Locking the door.
"You.. Have crossed the line this time boy."
He unbuckles his belt and starts swinging at my back.
"DAD! STOP! I'M SORRY!"
"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SHIT."
"DAD! STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!"
"REPERCUSSIONS!"
...
BRRRING. BRRRING.... BRRRRING. BRRRRING.
I pick up the house phone.
"Hello?"
"Bro, what happened..?"
"I really just want to forget about it."
"You can't even tell-"
"NO. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."
"Okay, okay, I get that. But you should hear what people are sayin man."
I let out a long sigh.
"Yeah man, they said that Gale had to get 24 stitches man, and Harry has a broken nose man, you fucked em up good."
"Please just sto-"
"The most fucked up thing about this, is that people are saying that when they saw Brad, his eyes.."
My eyes go wide.
"What... About his eyes.."
"They only had black dots in the middle man.."
My eyes close, and I let out a shaking breath. And I drop the phone.
"No.."
I grab on to my hair, tugging.
"No. NO. NO!!! That dream. The man... Those.. THOSE FUCKING EYES. THEY WERE IN MY DREAM."
While on the ground a loud whisper speaks into my ears.
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"Wha- What.."
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"Leave.. LEAVE ME ALONE."
I run to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror.
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"STOP!"
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"Ge- Get out.. GET OUT!"
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT!!"
I strike both fists on the mirror, cracking it.
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"GET OUUUUT!!!!"
I cock my right fist back, and punch the mirror. Shattering it, I then black out, and fall to the ground.
...
I open my eyes, and a bright light flashes in my eyes, and slowly fades away. But it's strange, the mirror is repaired.. But I remember shattering it...
I groan with pain, I must've hit my head or something.
"Fuck.. My head.."
I stand up, and approach the mirror, after minutes of fighting through the headache I look up at the mirror. But.. It.. It's not me.. My eyes.. They're... White... With... With black dots in the middle.
"What.. No.. NO.. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME.."
I swing the bathroom door open and right in front of me is Brad, with black dots in his eyes. Smiling at me. I stand there, paralyzed, when suddenly Brad brings his face up close to mine, and whispers,
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"No.. No.. You- YOU'RE NOT BRAD... YOU'RE NOT BRAD!!!"
"FACE. THE. REPERCUSSIONS."
"NO.. NO!!"
"I run downstairs to the living room and my mom and my dad are sitting there, they slowly turn their heads to me, and all I can see is them, with black dots in their eyes. And as they both look at me, they simultaneously say,
"Good morning son. What would you like for breakfest?"
"YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS. FU- FUCK YOU! WHERE ARE MY PARENTS?!"
"Why are you screaming son? Sit down. Tell us what's on your mind."
"NO!"
I open the front door, my whole entire block is covered in fog, and there is no sun, no moon. Nothing. Just.. Fog.
"Please... Please... WAKE UP. I GET IT. I DID A TERRIBLE THING! I'M- I'M SORRY! PLEASE!"
I suddenly see the man in my dream, approach out of the fog, smiling at me. I get on both knees, and look up at his demonic smirk.
"Pl- please... I understand what I've done.."
The mans face slowly turns into a frown, he slowly raises his hand, and points at me.
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"No... Please.. NO."
"REPERCUSSIONS"
I grab the bottom of his pant leg. Pleading.
"PLEASE. NO! FORGIVE ME! PLEASE!"
The man continues to chant that same word, as I crawl up in a fetal position, listening to the same loop of the same word. Crying, screaming, begging for mercy.
"PLEASE. I'M SORRY! I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING! PLEASE!"
But then suddenly... The whispers stop... I can feel the heat of the sun shining on my face, birds singing, children laughing. I slowly raise my head and look around, I can see my road again. I can see everything.. I slowly form a smile, and begin laughing, and crying tears of joy. I jump up on my feet, and run into the house.
"Mom?! Dad?!"
I suddenly hear my moms beautiful voice call to me.
"In the kitchen sweetie!"
I run into the kitchen, with tears of joy still running down my cheeks.
"Pancakes sound good honey?"
"Yeah! YEAH! Pancakes are fine!"
As I walk up to hug my mom, I can hear my dads voice.
"Mornin kiddo."
Even though I'm still filled with fear from my dads abuse, I manage to let out a,
"Mornin dad!"
I slowly turn around, and my smile fades, my eyes droop down, and my hopes die.
"I smell pancakes!"
And my dad smiles at me, with black dots in his eyes.
"No..."
"That's right hun!"
I turn around to look at my mom, with black dots in her eyes as well.
"No.. NO! NO!"
"What's the matter sweetie?"
"I WAS OUT! I WAS OUT OF THAT FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"
I get on both knees, sinking my face into the palms of my hands, sobbing.
"Son, don't worry, everything will be alright! Just eat some pancakes and you'll be fine!"
On my knees... And still sobbing... The whispers begin to fill my head...
"REPERCUSSIONS"
"REPERCUSSIONS"
Credited to Stefawn
Originally uploaded on July 30, 2012
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