Rudolf the Brown Nosed Reindeer *LOST EPISODE*
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NSFW WARNING
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I have fond memories of enjoying Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer when I was of the young age of 31 living in Spaghetti, Italy. At this time, I didn't speak much Burger Talk (or English for the dumbass in the room) and never saw the American versions of the movie. Until one day. One day I will probably forget after I 420 Blaze it to my hella sweet Rudolf soundtrack. Shit is tighter than my Rudolf sex toy's anus.
The day was December 32nd in the year XXXX because that was trendy to do at the time when you couldn't think of a good year. I was sitting on my Rudolf-styled couch, masturbating to Rudolf porn and Rudolf X Santa fanfics (this was easy for me, since I had 2 penises.)
As I was reading "Santa, Don't Fuck Me too Hard" by Rudolfsanus69. I saw a link in the fanfic. Its said *SUPER SPOOPY DO NOT CLICK SPAGHETTI TRANSLATION OF AMERICAN RUDOLF IS H4X.exe*
"Wow!" I thought. The American version of Rudolf was the only version I had not yet seen. My penis got so hard knowing I was about to get to watch it in my native tongue of spaghetti. But what about that warning? I wrote it off because if it did turn out to be scary, I could write a shitty ass cliche scary story on the internet for attention. So, a win-win for me.
I clicked the link and a download file appeared on my screen. It read "RudolfTheBrownNosedReindeer.exe.dll.jpg.gif" which was exactly 911MB (totally not meaningful for any plot points in this pasta, because fuck effort.)
I downloaded the file and a video popped up that was exactly 3.14159265 35897932384626433832795028841971693993751 minutes long. I clenched my anus with joy.
The video started with Rudolf standing near Santa. Rudolf and Santa, however, weren't their normal stop-motion selves. Instead, they seemed to be live action. Rudolf was a man in a Brown suit with no eyes, a red nose, and red antlers. Santa looked like your average mall santa with one defining feature: a hole on the back of his pants where his anus would be.
This unsettled me, but before I could put my penis away, Santa said "You've been a bad boy Rudolf!" as he pushed Rudolf to the ground and sat over his face. "Prepare for your punishment." He said.
After that, you could hear a light farting noise as a brown substance leaked from the hole in santa's pants. To my horror, I realized what this was. This wasn't a spaghetti dub of American Rudolf, this was a scat Rudolf porno.
I let out a scream of terror as my second dick fell off and ran out the door and my first dick retreated into my body, giving me a vagina, Rudolf moaned as Santa shat on him, eating Doritos to add an orange tinge to his brown fountain. Did I mention the shit was hyper realistic? He continued to shit for another 2.1234343960305968434332456 minutes. During this time, an image appeared for exactly 0.2831232342342940980985197509108509180498157819482908910358918059801481242238429480X10 seconds, showing Santa's shit destroying the American Twin Towers, confirming Santa did 9/11, directily linking it to the download file size (t-tricked you! It actually had meaning.)
I looked down. I had puked on myself. I looked back at the screen as Santa said "I guess you're now Rudolf the BROWN nosed Reindeer, cuck."
The ending duration of the video was Santa rubbing his dick on Rudolf's shitty face and Rudolf masturbating.
I stood from my chair and saw a leaky, brown substance in my chair. I shrieked. It was shit. The video had obviously effected my real life, confirming the illuminati and their satanic cabal. My first reaction was to contact TheVigilentChristian and apologize for thinking he was a complete fucking dumbass. (I also never payed my bills after that point because that was obviously illuminati.)
And now I'm here. Snorting my Rudolf cocain and writing this totally true, totally spoopy and original story. I MEAN NOT STORY TOTALLY SUPE TRUE PLZ EMAIL ME AND ASK ME IF IT'S TRUE AT SexMeRudolf@hotmail.com.
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