Run Escape: The Botting Incident
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NSFW WARNING
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I'm a total botting and micro penis fan, much like everyone else in Reddit.
My name's YodaCuck, but you can just call me Yoda. I'm a balding, middle-aged man, a programmer, programming bot programs for this game program called 'Run Escape'. I've never heard of it either, since I don't actually play that game, nor anyone else in that game for that matter. My Subreddit, which has around 205k subscribers, is made of the most brilliant ape-like baboons imaginable, which help me manage my gambling operations. Recently I even got a deal from OverCookedSteak.com to stream us malding over at the removal of the Sex Duel Arena from the game, which paid the rent at our mums' basements.
I heard that the owner of that site had recently done 9/12, blew up Cuba and kidnapped numerous 22-year old blind women from the streets. Honestly, I didn't care, Jamflex had done the worst crime of all, they had gone woke! Which was worse than the time my E-girlfriend brought her Jamflex Moderator boyfriend over to fuck virtually in front of me, doing the 'Headbang' and 'Bow' emote in-front of my bots. That really triggered me, which I got them both banished into the Abyss.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I liked to program bots for the game. Recently I've been offering my botting and new Betting Sex Duel services to a nearby University from my white van. Some of the folks there included two people talking about Sonic the Hedgehog, another 22-year old blind woman and some 24-year old guy wearing a Black Mask (10) over his face. The guy wearing black (except his skin), seemed to be bragging about getting 99 Sexlore recently, without botting. I was ready to go on a malding rampage like usual at this guy's claims, which always seemed to reduce my hair follicles into nothing.
However, before I could hyper-realistically flex my small fat tissue over immature university students as usual, I was stopped by a sudden realization. I've never actually played the game, and I've only made Sex Duel bots thus far. Maybe there is something worthwhile in this game? Have I gone.. Woke?
After being triggered by that fact, due to my (Reddit) culture, it's a very valid reason. I was then arrested and given another restraining order, after having sat in a cell for 73 minutes. After that drive home, I returned back to organizing more Sex Duels for people to gamble their mum's credit cards, booting up Run Escape from the PS3 Home Menu. The Hyper-Realistic blood, the Silent Hill corridor and the usual various religious symbols greeted me and I entered my username 'YodaCuck' and my password in the Logic Screen with my Logitech Controller. Which coincidentally controls my entire Sex Duel gambling operation.
My character was then loaded up in the game, wearing nothing as usual. The character looked exactly like me, with totally heterosexual Charlie Chaplin stache and a receding hairline. I then put on my the Smurf-colored clothes in my nude character in Seers' Village, inside the town's bank. Dozens of balding, bearded, cum-shirt and green pants wearing bots were Fletching and Peniscutting some massive logs. Seems like my bots seem to be in working order. Wait a minute though... Why am I here though? Why wasn't I at the Sex Duel casino in Al Kharid? I was beginning to think this wasn't Some Ordinary Run Escape... It was a HAUNTED Run Escape!
This made me shit my pants, which thankfully I had my mum's bucket underneath to me, which saved me from another embarrassment. I was also beginning to mald once again, and broke the 10th monitor today. I then had to restart my computer and boot up Run Escape again, before noticing that my character this time was in a different location. It was Varrock, burnt to ashes and completely empty of NPCs or the Grand Exchange, with the exception of my mindless robots advertising my scam- I mean gambling operations, in the usual piss-colored overhead text. Though they had bits of white sticking out of their bald heads.
"Join the YodaCuck Subreddit! Free Sex Duels! All you need is your mum's credit card and your social security number. Age requirement is 2 months old." (We don't really check it though, to go with the usual gambling jurisdictions, of pixelated money that we also sell for real world money)
Everything seemed normal as usual, though I was still triggered, that I wasn't at the Sand Casino. It was my entire identity, as it was for my Subreddit of baboons, nothing else mattered. Not even as the sparks and ash flew from my PS3 and caused my muther's house to be on fire. It was all because of this Haunted Rom Hack.
I picked up my Dragon Micro Dagger from the bank booth, which was just a pile of ash now and headed straight back to the casino. Nothing of note seemed to be going around me, the sky was it's usual pitch-black colored self, along with the trees leaking their hyper-realistic blood onto the floor. Along the way through some random swamp in Morytania, I saw some deranged gray-haired, snail helm wearing lunatic in a fetal position, repeating the phrase:
"ThischangeseverythingThischangeseverythingThischangeseverything-"
I proceeded to PK him for 30 coins, which helped me pay off debts at the front of the Al Kharid gates. Finally I get to actually play this game, but upon arriving in-front of the Sex Casino, I made a horrible realization and just remembered what Jamflex had done. They removed the casino and put it into a more accessible option at the World Hop menu. I was beginning to hyper-mald for the trillionth time, ignoring the pixel-realistic screams of my mother being burnt in a house fire.
With my one last final mald, I was also being burnt alive in every nanosecond of my ameliorating existence, as a Red Wizard robes wearing player named Xx_Run_xX and the cum dragon Escape watched me from the slowly exploding monitor.
Wait, did someone actually play this game? The End.
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