SOMARI.EXE

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I love nintendo.

I have everything that's nintendo-related since my neiborhood stopped selling crack because i have more cash.

I have every 666666 games, every single pokémon cards, 9 super mario bros cartridges and 14 nintendo world championships and 6 nes's.

I hated sega, i hated it, i killed the sega boss and i broke the sonic.exe cd I HATE IT I HATE I FUCKING HATE IT IT'S FRIKIN BULLSHIT.

—

I was playing Friday the 13th on the NES even if i think its bullshit (butt i don't care cuz its nintendo). Then i heard my mum saying "JEROHM COME N TAKE THE FUCKING MAIL YOU ASSHOLE!!!!" i then said "FINE, MOM" i paused the game and went took the mail. I had some mail. There was a nintendo cartridge and letter.

I first looked at the paper, it was my friend jeff who sent it to me. Butt he wrote it with a relly great handwrite. It said:

"JEROEM
PLZ
WHAT R U WAITING ASSHOLE
DUMBASS
I HATE U!!!
BREAK IT ASSHOLE
DONT PLAY IT!!1
DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT
YOU ASSHOLE!!
BREAKIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ASSHOLE
EVEN IF IT'S THE ONLY COPY OF SOMARI THAT'S STILL WORKING.
YOU ASSHOLE."

Wow, the only still-working copy of SoMari? I FUCKING NEED IT!!!!! The cartridge was in really really really really really really really realy rly bad condition. Look at it. It was wrote Mario on it!!!!!

[Missing image: 2014-01-24-image-4.jpg - Caption: "How the cartidge looked like"]

I then started playing the game. 

Everything was normal, until i pressed start.

[Missing image: Somari_(title_screenshot).png]

There was a 0.0000000666 frame with hyper-realistic blood on somari's eyes, hyper-realistic blood on trees,a lake of  hyper-realistic blood, hyper-realistic blood on the logo, hyper-realistic blood on the cartridge, hyper-realistic blood on jeff, hyper-realistic blood on hyper-realistic blood, hyper-realistic blood on unrealistic blood, hyper-realistic blood on 1024 bit graphics, hyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic bloodhyper-realistic blood!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Missing image: Super_mario_3d_world_screenshot.png - Caption: "THIS IS AWESOME!!!!11 3D GRAPGICS!!!!!!!!!! ON THE NEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!! BUTT THIS IS AWESOME THIS IS LEGIT!"]

Then the loading screen was normal again, and when i started the game, THERE WAS AWESOME 3D GRAPHICS OMGOGMOGMMGOGMOGMO 3D GRAPHICS 666% LEGIT IT WAS SO HYPER-REALISTIC also it was 4-player so i took my nes 4 score AND PLAYED WITH 4 PEOPEL!!!!!!!!!!

Until i saw blood again, blood, blood, bloooooood. And it was 

hyper-realistic.

[Missing image: Blood_Splatter.png - Caption: "This is the blood i saw"]

lel7

Then i looked at my nes 4-score, IT HADDDD BLOOD EVERYWHERE 

[Missing image: 4score.jpg - Caption: "this is my 4-score with hyper-realistic blood"]

BLOOD BLOOD ON MY NES 4-SCORE!!!!!!

blood

Then i looked at my nintendo games, they were all i slightly dislike you 

[Missing image: Game_nes.jpg - Caption: "I SLIghtly dislike u on the nes muthafucka"]

games, i not kidding. I SLIGHTLY DISLIKE YOU ON THE NES!

It was spooky as fuck butt it was'nt on the snes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ON THE NES!!!!!!! THERE WAS HYPER-REALISITIC BLOOD ON THE GAME BLOOOOOD!!!!!!!! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! FUCKING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

BLOOD, i just see blood, blood blood blood blood,

[Missing image: NES_GAME_323423523623636346235734653432Q65.jpg - Caption: "THEN IT LOOKED LIKE THIS"]

THEN THE GAME TRANSFORMED INTO A BOB.EXE GAME USING THE POWER OF BLOOD!!!!
!

The end.

NOT

[Missing image: Somari2.jpg - Caption: "threre is the game"]

Now the game looked like somari once again, but the cartidge looked normal.

I played the game but the title screen had a gommba, BUT IT DID'NT HAD BLOOD THIS TIME!!!!!!!

Now it said "Vagina Lips Zone: Act 1".

Mario looked hyper-intelligent.

[Missing image: Somari_mario_and_sonic_fusion_by_kth33-d5xv3kj.png - Caption: "this is the hyper-intelligent mario"]

And he jumped out the screen and atarted eating my pussy.

Then i said "idc i dnt wat babied n my vagina was ugly".

Now mario had triangle eyes. HE WAS ILLUMINATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And i saw Poop zone act 2 and Jerome zone and penis zone(cuz i have both penis and vagina), and patrixxx zone.

I then was in fight with Dr.WIllowser,

and when i beat the game i was shown a pic of sonic.exe finishing the game

[Missing image: Sonic-2-001.jpg]

iT WAS FUCKING SPOOKY!!!

now bloody somari killed me so im dead and so are you

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Written by JeromeAlbert
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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