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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

When I was a kid (27 and a half years old), I used to play Super Mario 64 all the time. It was the only game I had for the N64 at the time. Recently, I found my old N64 in my attic, with Super Mario 64 and a few other gay games.

I decided to try it out and see if it still worked. The Nintendo 64 turned on, but Super Mario 64 did not work. I was very disappointed.

but then my computer turned itself on and searched Supreme Marshio 696969 on ebay and bought it for 420 pesos. I thought nothing of it, I was really excited to relive my childhood. The game arrived in the mail a couple minutes later. "The seller must live close to me", I thought to myself. I opened the package and I took out the game cartridge. It had no label, but "Jack (Off)" was written on it in permanent marker. Jack must have been the person that owned this game.

There was also a note in the package as well. It said, "Death....Blood.....Semen". This immediately got me hard. I thought nothing of it. Anyway, I pooped Strar More 72212126795 in the N64 and turned it on. The game started normally, with the Mario head that you can fuck around with. I tried fucking moving his face, but the game made a hyper realistically loud click noise when I did, and Mario said "Sex....Penis..." I was really starting to get scared at that moment. Was this a hacked game? Or was it just gay?

I pressed start and noticed that all the file slots were used up. They were all named "CORPSE", and they had 69 stars. I loaded up the first one, and what I see is absolutely horrifying.

Mario and Luigi were masturbating to pictures of me. ME. I WAS IN THE FUCKING GAME. I immediately shit my pants and came at the same time.

I tried to turn off the Nintendo 64 but the N64 shocked me so hard I came. I had to wipe the semen off of my tv screen. I pressed all the buttons on the controller and eventually Mario and Luigi got up and turned around and disappeared. What was left on the screen was a picture of MY DICK. I QUICKLY REACHED FOR MY DICK AND IT WAS GONE. IT WAS IN THE GAME. GOD HELP ME WHY!1!11!111

All of a sudden Peach and Bowser came out of Peach's castle. They had bloodshot eyes, and Bowser was fucking Peach in 69 position. I wanted to stop fapping playing but I couldn't. Pressing buttons didn't work, I couldn't turn off the system, I couldn't EVEN FUCKING MOVE. I have to stop it somehow. I HAVE TO FUCKING STOP IT!

And then I woke up.

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