Sanic is coming... DOT EXE

One day I was sitting around doing absolutely nothing productive with my life when the mailman knocked on my door.

He was all like "Yo brah I got a package from a guy named Richard Yeloa." I was like "Who the hell is that?" but I took the package because free shit is good. I opened the package to see a letter on top.

Dear Worshipper

You may not know me but I know you! I sent you a disc that has a game that probably killed me by now but instead of breaking it on my knee I sent it to you because yolo. It's your problem now. KTHXBAI! (tell sanic and the skeleton gang I said hi) - Richard

I was all like "The shit?". I looked back in the package and found a blank game case taped shut. Written on it was "DO NOT OPEN - HELL IS INSIDE". Then I remembered what I was doing before this so I opened it only to hear a REALLY LOUD SCREAM OF AGONY. I didn't give a fuck. I took out the disc which had SANIC'S SOUL written on it. I ninja threw the disc into the cart and there was another scream. The game loaded and I saw the original SANIC TEH HOGHEDGE screen. I didn't remember this game so it must've been a spinoff of the original Sonic. I clicked play after I teleported into my chair. There was another scream with a totally creepy screen. After that I was like fuck this and tried to eject the disc, it did and I snapped it on my knee.

The next day when I got up the disc was on my desk as new. I was doing nothing that day so I decided to continue in the game. The game was totally evil, but I had no friends or family so if I got killed I wouldn't give a crap. There was 3 characters. SANIC SANIC and SANIC. I chose SANIC 2 and it SCREAMED REALLY LOUDLY and showed me a picture of Sanic with black eyes and red pupils close up to his face staring at me for about 3 seconds. As I said before I didn't give a crap. It got angry that I wasn't scared and screamed like a little girl from Toddlers & Tiaras before finally giving me gameplay. The character was Sheedow. (I didn't care if he wasn't in the original.) and I was on a metal surface. I ran left because FUCK YOU!

The game got pissed off, it didn't plan for this and just gave me some more shitty screamers. I thought to myself "I'm winning." I pressed on when the screen started to static. I saw Sanic facing me, and I approached him. He turned around and opened his eyes making a punch animation. It was clear I broke the game. The game went ballistic. More screamers. My screen started to crack and I let it. The screen just said SANIC IS COMING while playing a loop scream.

The screen broke and out came Sanic, he was about 5 foot tall. He lunged at me and I sidestepped punching that bitch. He fell down and I shat on his head. He screamed a girly scream and faded away in a pixelated fashion. I was victorious!

I left my house with a new confidence and actually met a girl. I had newfound respect for myself when I realized my computer was still on. Shit. I ran home and found my background had changed to all the characters from Sanic smiling at me (not like creepy murder smiles) and there was an envelope on my desk. I opened it with my fucking huge knife I didn't use during the fight cause yolo.There was 1000 dollars inside and a note.

"Thank you for freeing us from Sanic's evil. Take this as a gift of our gratitude." -Teh Sanic Gang

I was like "FUCK YEAH!" and I jumped raising my fist in the air in a freezeframe.

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