Santa Is Satan

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Once upon a time, on Christmas night. I was looking out my window, at night. I looked out of my window, in curiosity. Because I heard bells. These were not any regular bells, like I imagined it would be. These were hell's bells. AC/DC was a roaring powering ram, and was coming on like a hurricane.

As the bells stopped, I heard hoof steps on the roof. At first, I thought it was the reindeer pattering their footsteps on my roof. I was wrong. The hoof steps kept on going on, till they suddenly stopped. Then I heard a loud KER PLUNK! in my living room.

I open my door, and tripped on my five year old daughter's cigarettes. As I tripped, I fell down the 50 feet step-way that I had built. As I was falling towards, what seems to be, my "doom"; Benny Hill music started playing.

As I got down on the final step, I crept through my doorway to the living room, finding that my tree was ablaze. Curious, I crept farther. I found Santa! As I was about to give a hug, he turned around. His eyes were red, and he had horns. As I got through my traumatizing moment, Santa said this:

Ego te condemnabo inferi Tempus ubi angeli ceciderunt in aeternum

(Translation: "I condemn you to hell, where the fallen angels will fuck you for eternity!")

Then, the fallen angels took me, and I was condemned to hell. One of the angels was "Superplankofdeath"

The End

Written by Fatal Disease
Content is available under CC BY-SA

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