Shrek Is Not Drek

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

It was Saturday. The day after I had finished praying to my ogrelord. I offered him a bouquet of onions. But it seems he was not appeased as my family was poor and we could not afford much. Forgive me for I have sinned. I went 3 hours without eating onions, but instead I had a cake. I had broken the sin of worshiping a false idol. I knew I would be punished. It all started that Monday. I saw a cute ogirl, she was very kawaii. I went up to say hello. Her breath smelt of onions. It was amazing. Her boobs were hyperealistic like Lara Croft's in Tomb Raider on PS1. She had hair like Fiona, above and below. We went into a flower shop and I bought her onions. Thankfully, she was pleased with my offerings and she agreed to let me insert my onion head inside her mouth. We made way back to my swamp. She got ready to receive. I inserted my mushroom tip. I start screaming in sweet pleasure. I shout "Shrek, Shrek, Shrek, Dreeeeeeeek!". She stopped. She sunk her teeth into it, hyperrealistc blood sprays out and spells on the wall: "Shrek is not Drek". All of a sudden Shrek flies out of my anus hole. He called me a bad Farquaad. Hyperrealistic blood gushes out of my mouth. Then I bled from my empty eye sockets and Shrek's dinkah pokes out of my mouth. And his third and second out my nose, one in each nostril. I died. He carried my ogirl away and had vicious and vigorous ogre love. The last thing I saw was Shrek's hyperrealistic erect mighty ogre penis ejaculating in my face to show his dominance. "I am love, I am life and it won't be ogre soon laddeh".

Credited to CamWalk

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