Shrek is Love: The Gruesome Case

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There was a gruesome case, a whole bus of elderly people disappeared. It was a calm day at Cloverfield Retirement home, we had a substitute supervisor that day, his name was Shrek. Shrek was a big, intimidating guy and something about about him made me feel suspicious. We had a field trip, since our regular supervisor wasn't here with us, Shrek had to come.

Everything was was going well, until all of a sudden the bus crashed. We ended up in a swamp. Luckily, no deaths have occurred, only minor injuries. We got out of the bus only to leave it engulfed in flames. To my surprise, we saw Shrek successfully run the vehicle and drove out of the swamp leaving us to die.

Suddenly, I heard a scream. We saw a masked group heading towards us, they were holding knives with hyper-realistic blood. We ran for it, I took a quick glance behind me only to realize that they weren't chasing us. I could see an ogre riding a donkey. Funny, he looked a lot like the supervisor. I paused to take a closer look, it was Shrek! He dismounted the donkey and landed a mighty punch at the leader of the group! Super, uber, dupper, king cooper, looper dooper, Jesus fucking hyper realistic blood oozed out. Shrek roared a mighty roar and swiftly filled the entire cult's assholes with his love. They all got immobilized by the ogre's power.

He then came to me with inhuman speed and whispered to my ear.

"This is my swamp."

...

During a police investigation, a note was found in the bus wreckage:

"Shrek saved our lives,

Shrek saved my life,

Shrek is love,

Shrek is life."

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