Skyler: The Haunted Call of Duty Ghosts Cartridge
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Day 3
About 3 decades ago, I was getting down and dirty with Zobria and decided to clean out her gaping black void because it was getting a bit too messy, and to my surprise I found my old Microsoft™ Xbox 360 in there. I was so turned on to have finally found it and decided to turn it on and see if it still worked, and despite all the squirt juice residue and placenta it did! So naturally, I tried to look for more games, I only found "Sonic: Free Riders" and "Resident Evil 6". I remembered how I used to love Call of Duty: Ghosts for the Microsoft™ Xbox 360 when I was younger so I decided to go to the local EB Games store to find myself a copy. Obviously they wouldn't have any new copies so I was looking for a pre-owned copy, but unfortunately they had none, they only had Call of Duty: Black Hell Ops on the Nintendo Wii, but I heard that version of Call of Duty: Black Hell Ops was a bit shite, so I still held out my hopes for finding a copy of the Microsoft™ Xbox 360 version. On my way home, I noticed that the local Bada-Bing! was closing down, so I thought I would check in there to see if they had a copy, and if they did, it would certainly be cheaper, as they were closing down. As I approached the store I realized that it was closed, so I started to head back to my El Camino.
Just as I was about to open my transportation vehicle’s driver side door, I heard a bang bang boogie coming from the store's window. I looked around and the store manager, who looked suspiciously like my buddy Brandon Mayhew AKA Badger, was standing there in the window, waving his cock at me, asking me to cum back. As I walked back, he opened the store specifically for me. Just for me. Only me. ME. ME ALONE. NOBODY ELSE! “Yo. You got any copies of Call of Duty: Ghosts for the Microsoft™ Xbox 360, bitch?” I asked. “Es. We only got one tho. And it's in pretty bad condition. Almost as if the gaming was haunted. Or cursaged. Or unhinged. Or disturbing. Or twisted. Maybe even enchanted with satanic black magic. There’s probably a dead person named Skyler trapped in this cartridge or some shit.” “Whatever, man. Just get me my game, bitch.” As he went into the store room at the back, to get the game for me, I realized with my real eyes that see real lies (I am 14 and this is deep) that a few things that were stranger in the store, the walls were painted Hartwell White, but they had mysterious Walter stains all over them, and parts of the crawl space were ripped up (Crawl Space as in the 11th episode of the fourth season of the multi emmy award winning television series, Breaking Bad, titled: Crawl Space), and ‘there’ store was in awful condition. The manager returned with my copy and said "My dumbass can’t find the game box. Is the cartridge itself on its own with no game cover or box ok for you?” I replied to his ridiculous question with, “Yo. I suggest you stop whining like a little bitch and do what I say. Now go get me my game box, asshole.” The asshole went back and finally found it. The cover was completely normal. Nothing about it has changed as far as I could remember. I paid the dipshit 96 dollars and 20 cents for it. When I sat in my Pontiac Aztek, I noticed the game cartridge had no sticker on the front and had only a taped piece of yellow and black biohazard 4 paper over the front that bluntly said "COD:G". I initially ignored it because of course I did and drove home in my 1997 Cadillac Deville. When I got home I immediately putted the cartridgedge into my Microsoft™’t’ed Xbox 360ed and started playinged, but when the menu started, I noticed that the music that usually plays in the menu, was getting slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, eventually stopping. I ignored it assuming it was a glitch, because of course I did, and started playing. I made a new resident evil thinking there were no saved games on the cartridge and started playing. The game ran very well at a solid 10fps on Zobrearyt™’s 6.353 inch laptop and I had no problems with it on Day 3. Still runs better than the PC port of Dead Space 2008. That game came out in 2008 (Same year as Breaking Bad holy shit) and EA still hasn’t fixed it? Fuck EA.
Day 0
On day 0, as I started the game, loaded into Extinction, desperately wanting to know what David Archer had cooked up in his armory today, in the character selection screen, in the customization screen, my player, who was a female soldier that was wearing the Resistance Heavy uniform and the Resistance Patriot head which costed me around $3.99, was standing still because it’s the fucking customization screen what else is she gonna do? The disturbingly disturbing thing was, was that another player was standing behind her. This character was a girl. I shat my Better Call Saul underoos signed by Bob Odenkirk like how Zobrearyt™ does after he or she eats red meat because I had never seen a girl not only in this game but also IRL because I’m a gamer.
After the shittening, I started to play the game as her. Then, the game froze as I started up the most boring map in the game which was Point of Contact. (Fucking fight me) Assuming it was my Microsoft™ Xbox 360, I restarteded the gayme, and started to play as her again. Everything seemed normal, except the sea, was a deadly hartwell white colour, almost resembling you know what... And there was no sign of any residents, or any evils for that matter, the only other people in the game were Mr. White, and Gustavo Fring (from the chicken restaurant). Mr. White's eyes were hyperrealistically red and ‘this’ eyeballs had turned black, Gus Fring black to be precise. This really turned me on but also made my penis confused. Basically how I feel after witnessing the tragedy that is Five at Night’s Freddies porn. “What the hell, yo? Why is Mr. White in Call of Duty: Ghosts Extinction mode, yo?” I cried out. By the way, that Cry was full Of Fear (2012). Some fucking how Mr. White responded back to me with, “Jesse, you need 985 more teeth to buy the Double Class upgrade, Jesse.” “Yo. I don’t give a shit, yo. I’m trying to get the Cryptid Slayer Ammo, bitch, which is like- half of that or something. YO! WHERE’S THE OTHER HALF, BITCH?!” “Jesse, you fucking pillock. Half of 985 isn’t 500, Jesse.” “Whatever man.” Also in his store (Barely Legal Pawn) There were hwhite stains on the wall, along this the floorboards of the crawl space ripped up, strangely similar to the appearance of the Bada-Bing! store... I quitted the game, and starteded it back uptded again, so I could delete the mystery character, and carry on with my own character. The menu music was still getting slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slower, and slow- I’ll stop. It got increasingly slower like on day 3 but this time it had a creepy undertone to it, kind of like laughing. The laughing sounding EErily similar to how Mr. White laughed in the infamous Crawl Space episode which, by the way, was the 11th episode of the 4th season of Breaking Bad by the way. “Yo, Mr. White why are you like laughing, yo?” “Jesse, I’m setting the mood, Jesse. You’re kinda ruining the vibe here, Jesse.” “My bad, yo.” I ignored the Crawl Space laughing and carried on, and ‘tired’ to delete the mysterious girl character. A text box appearededed and said "Are you sure you want to delete ____, bitch?" It was as if the hooah didn't have a name. But anyway, I clicked Es and it said "Are you sure, bitch? Once you delete ____, bitch, you can never get ____ back, bitch!" And once again, I clicked Es. The game then resettededed. This was quite strange, like my doctor, as it had done this before when I wanted to do something with this character. I went back onto the game, and repeated the same process apart from this time, a text box came up and said "That wouldn't be church, yo..." Why is the game stopping me from deleting that character, and even playing as that character? I paid forty fucking dollands for this game and it’s buggier than the PC port of Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto 4. I was too creeped out to play, so I put the Microsoft™ Xbox 360 down and instead played Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D™ on my Nintendo 3DS XL Lite.
Day 8
I hesitated to play this game at first, but then necrophilia got the best of me, and I picked up my Microsoft™ Xbox 360 and booted up Call of Doodie: Ghosteses, but this time, there was no “‘Call of Duty: Ghosts - Extinction Main Theme’ extracted from the game files and uploaded to YouTube by lilrobot” music, at all. It was creepily silent like the grass and dirt structure outside my home resembling a hill. When I pressed play, I heard an evil moan, but very high pitch, and very loud. It was as if it was there as some kind of Fnaf Freddy’s Fives At’s 5 jump scare? Wait hold on I had the in-game music muted. There we go. It’s fixed now. Anyway, I c a m e o n t o the character select screen, and tried to delete the mystery girl. But once again, it gave me an error message, but this time it read "STOP BITCH. OR ELSE I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A BAT". This freaked me the fuck out, but I thought I may as well start playing with my character because nothing had gone wrong there and sure enough, my playable character was fully playable... Baby Blue by Badfinger sea, all residents, all evils, all fours where they should be, and yet I couldn't stop thinking about that mystery cocksucka... who was that asshole? Can that bitch ever be deleted? I started to do some extensive scientific research, but found licherally nothing because Internet Explorer wouldn’t load. Once again I Bootman Bill’d the game up, to attempt to delete her, but this time, she wasn't breathing. My character was beside her, sleeping, breathing as normal, but she was there, lifeless, motionless, not breathing, hovering over my character, sleeping, breathing as normal, but she was there, lifeless, motionless, not breathing, hovering over my character, sleeping, breathing as normal, but she was there, lifeless, motionless, not breathing, hovering over my character, sleeping, breathing- I’ll stop. By the way my character was a female soldier who was wearing the Resistance Heavy Uniform and the Resistance Patriot Helmet. Just wanted to remind you of that because I spent a good $3.99 on that shit. Yes, I have bad spending habits. How did you know? I thought this would be a good time to try to delete her, and for some goddamn motherhubbin’ reason it worked! The mystery girl had been deleted. My mind was finally at ease, and I carried on playing as normal as my character who was a female soldier who was wearing the Resistance Heavy Uniform and the Resistance Patriot Helmet which cost around $3.99 to be absolutely exact, but noticed I had gained an extra 3,000 teeth! I thought nothing of it, and carried on as normal… Wait, holy shit I got 3,000 fucking teeth I can buy literally everything in the armory what the fuck.
Day 8
As I booted up the game, the menu was………. different. Creepier. It showed one of my evil residents, it was a skinny dude named Pete wearing a beanie, but I cannot recall the name. He was getting closer to the screen, with a big grin, and huge eyes. The guy walked up to me and said, “Yo man I’m Skinny Pete!” I was taken aback by this bonerifying revelation. “Yo, Skinny? What are like you doing here, yo?” “I don’t know. Anyways, here's my beanie. It just might keep you from being spotted. Can’t hurt right?” “Yo, Skinny… why you doing all this?” “Dude… you’re my hero and shit…”
My dick hardened.
Overwhelmed by the emotions and tension between the two of us, I shoved Skinny Pete against the wall. We both fiercely undressed and gave each other a wet, slobbery smooch on the lips. We brutally fought each other in The Great Tongue War of 2025. Both of us breathless and sweaty, our tongues collided like two falcon punches on Mute City causing us to violently choke and gag and moan and- wait what site is this story on? Oh wait, it's the Trollpasta wiki. Let me calm down a bit.
“Yo, I don’t want this raggedy ass shit, bitch. I already have my own cosmetics which cost me around $3.99, yo!”
The music was running backwards, and when I started the game, that same laugh was heard, low pitch, and was longer, and seemed like it had been slowed down. That fucking bitch was back but seeing as I deleted her before, I thought I could delete her again. So I tried and I was greeted with "STOP BITCH. OR ELSE I’M GOING TO SHOOT YOU TO DEATH WITH A GYATT” again. Upon seeing that I was like-
But me being the persistent cockfuckwit I am, I tried again. It said "Are you sure you want to delete Skyler, bitch?" So, that was her name! I finally found out her name! Skyler. Wait… Skyler… as in Skyler White, yo? As in Mrs. White, yo? I clicked Es, and it said... "Are you sure, bitch? Once you delete Skyler, bitch, you can never get Skyler back, bitch!" which was an obvious lie, seeing as she always came back like William Afton from the Fnaf at Freddy’s Five At’s Five’s FnaFs franchise, but anyway I went with it, and she was deleted. Hopefully for Fixing Good. I booted up my character and... strange things started to happen. The sea was Cum™ white, all my resident evils were there, but there were no residents and no evils. All of the Lily of the Valley flowers had turned to black and the grass had turned a darkish purple coloure. Whenever I tried to speak to Mr. White, or anyone else in my town, they'd say something along the lines of “Yo, I thought I was gonna see some like… vaginas." and “I made you my bitch." or "Yo. What’s up with the pie, man? It ain’t cut." That was quite strange, in three hundred and eight point eight seven one zero four Separate Ways™. One, because it’s a flippin’ demented thing for a game to do, mention characters that have been discombobulated and especially in a toddlers’ game for fudge sake. And two, There were no evil residents in her game save, so how did they know about her? And tres, why does Mr. White hate Mrs. White too? It was probably because he found out that she gave Ted Beneke the ASAC Schrader didgereedoodah special event. I was getting pretty scared and hard at this point, so I put my Microsoft™ Xbox 360 down for the day. ‘Down’ as in the fourth episode of the second season of Breaking Bad titled, “Down”, directed by John Dahl and written by Sam Catlin.
Day 7
I really, really, REALLY, R E A L L Y, R E A L L Y, R E A L L Y didn't want to carry on with the game, but I did. It's an errotic feeling. I wanted to know what would happen, but at the same time, I was turned on by of what might happen. It's an elderly grandparent who is suffering from late stage dementia’s game for Fred Fuch’s sake! I need to pull myself together. I was having less and less and less and less and less and less and less and less and less and less and less sleep, the thought of a game being "cursaged" was stewpit, but it seemed to be the only reasonable answer... I started to do more research now that I knew about Mrs. White, and I came across a similar story of a gal or guy, he or she had an "unhinged" SNES ROM of Super Mario Bros. 3, and they are pretty similar stories, except his or her game save is of a film director named Zack, who took over his or her computer. I do have some gameplay footage, but I won't be uploading it in case the same thing happens, because Zack Snyder’s Blood Whistel™ sounds creepy as frick.
But anyway, I started the game up, and the menu was just black, with the reversing menu music. The pasta was getting creepier every day. I started up the game, not no bitch chef save, but my save was still there. Same strange things were there, morgan white sea, no Residents, no Evils, no Threes, no Remakes- oh thank God anything but that…, purple grass, Lily of the Valley flowers etc., but in the distance, I could see.. what looked like Mrs. White, but that bitch kept running away from me. She eventually did a 14483369 degree turnaround and started cumming towards me and stared at me. Then some white text popped up in front of her saying, SKYLER HARTWELL WHITE (Anna Gunn).
She then tackled me like how Noob’s Saibot would in Mortal Kumbat (2011). She then pinned me down against the ground, violently removed both my pants and boxers. I threw her hartwell white jacket off, tore through her baby blue shirt like it was a piece of fucking paper, and ripped her bra in two and a half pieces like that one show. I reached out and slowly pulled her black pants down and ever so slowly and skillfully removed her black floral panties. I started to trace the contours of her naked form like I was sculpting a ceramic vase. I then slowly slid my right hand from her stomach up to her big beautiful pale breasts and fondled them like I was appreciating true fine art. I could feel her heart pounding within her chest like a hammer on steel. Her heart raced faster than a wild stallion at exactly 182 beats per minute, a true testament to how we both felt at this particular moment in time. Our lips met like two lost souls finding their way back home after a long, long time of being away. As we parted, a thin strand of saliva connected our lips like a bridge and eventually broke. We just stared into each other’s eyes as the now two strands of disconnected saliva dangled from our mouths glistened like diamonds. The only sounds audible right now were our heavy breaths sounding like soft whispers in the wind. She then started giving me the ‘Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease; make it cry, burn it, and let it swim’ special.
I felt her coming inside of me.
I realized that I was getting schleppymoostered by Mr. White’s wife which was a violation of the Bro code_ so I shoved her off of me. She said "Hey! Don’t touch me! Do not. Touch me!" And I was thinking "Alright! Alright! Look not touching! K? Not touching here! Look lady, whatever you’re selling- I ain’t buying, yo!" And then... a text box appearededed saying "Well… my name is Skyler White, yo". It was like she could hear my thoughts. So I started thinking of words in my head to see if she would answer one and luckily she answered three. One question was "Bitch?" She replied back with, "My husband is Walter White, yo. Uh huh. He told me everything." The other word I thought was, "Seriously?" She answered, "That’s right. And just so you know my brother-in-law is a DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) agent and I will not hesitate to call him. Not if I have to. Understood?" Straight away I Electric Wind God Fisted the game out of the Microsoft™ Xbox 360, and went to return it to Bada-Bing!. Since I kept spamming electrics, my Microsoft™ Xbox 360 got absolutely fried. I immediately bought a new one because I have terrible spending habits. The door was closed again, and no store manager to let me in this time. God damnit, Badger. Should I have badly broken in? Perhaps, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Day 10
Another sleepless night, just waiting for the time that the strip club could be open. I went there heterosexually away, unfortunately, Nobody (2021) starring Bob Odenkirk was there and it was closed again, maybe it wasn't the answer? I turned the game back on and there was no menu music, and just a black screen with the game options, at least there was no music… which really fucking sucked cocks because the Extinction soundtrack actually slaps. The Skyler save was back again, but her player model wasn't sleeping in the bed, it was stood next to my players bed, watching over her, while she slept, as she stood next to my players bed, watching over, while she slept, as she stood next to my players bed, watching over, while she slept, I clicked on her to boot up her save file, and see if she would answer more questions. I thought "This is my own private domicile and will not be harassed… bitch!" She said in a text box "This is your one and only warning. Do not sell marijuana to my husband." I replied confusingly with “....Okay?” How was I supposed to know where her grave was!? I asked her for her last name to confirm if she truly was Mrs. White truly and she replied "White". I googled "Skyler White yo" on Opera GX™ (not sponsored btw I have to mention that for legal reasons) and found a coupla three things which involved a story of a bitch whose house was being robbed by armed robbers, and they shot her... for not giving over her Microsoft™ Xbox 360. Yeah, some grown adults broke into some person’s home and shot that person to death with a GYATT just because they couldn’t play some video games… That must be it! That is why she is haunting my gaming: revisited™! I have to return the game to her grave to get her to go away! That's the answer! What’s that? How did I get to that conclusion? Why did the dialogue suddenly shift from a Breaking Bad meme to something about her grave and shit? You’re reading a fucking trollpasta and you’re seriously expecting peak writing what the actual shmopplemeister is wrong with you? This isn’t some Vince Gilligan/Peter Gould shit, dumbass. Although, it may or may not be some David Chase shit considering he made The Many Saints of Newark.
Day 4
I slept like a fucking adult. I was so horny when I found out what was going on. I went to the bitch’s grave, to return the slab or else I would suffer her curse, and felt so proud of myself. I totally made a difference in the world! As soon as I got to my housing place located at 6353 Juan Tabo Apartment 6, I felt I deserved a rest and busted in Gears of War 3 into my Microsoft™ Xbox 360 and play some mercenaries and to my surprise Mrs. White was a playable character in Gears of War 3. What had I done wrong? She was a Call of Duty: Ghosts Extinction mode character! She didn't belong in Gears of War 3!
I was like, “What the hell, yo? I just put your soul to rest and shit, bitch. What the hell are you doing in Gears of War 3, bitch?”
After I asked her that she said this shit, "Shut up. Will you shut up? Shut. The hell up. Shut up. Shut up! Shut up!! Shut up!!! Shut up!!!! Shut up shut up shut UUUPP!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!! SHUT UUUUPPPP!!!!!!! SHUUUTT UUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!"
And with that, I closed my Microsoft™ Xbox 360, and packed it away, and vowed I would never touch a Call of Duty game again. I mean who would after Vanguard?
"I will never FUCK™ you"
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