Sonic.iso
I am a big fan of sonic the hedgehog.... I like the old games because the new ones are BAD. SONICS QUILLS ARE TOO LONG IN THEM. I don't think I've played any glitchy games (Not a modern sonic fan!)! So anyway I was playing Sonic The Hedgehog 4 when i heard a..... knock on my door. This pissed me the FUCK off. How could they interrupt my playing of the best game ever? So I grabbed a baseball bat and opened the door.... But before I could swing.... I noticed....... It was KNUCKLES!!!! He said: Knock Knock its knuckles.... heres a letter. I was so confused... when was knuckles the postman... And why did HE INTURRUPT MY SONIC 4 GAMETIME??????? I bet he's just jealous he isn't in sonic 4. So i swung at him with my baseball bat and knocked him out cold. Anyway i opened the letter and it was from my friend Kyle Jenner... I havent heard from him in.... 1 year 1 month 23 days and 33 minutes... I wonder what he was doing for so long... I bet he's still mad about the time I burned down his house. Classic Kyle Jenner! Always mad over nothing!
The letter said:
Dear thomas
First of all I still fucking hate you asshole. But I know you're REALLY good at burning things down SO i decided to send you this. DDESSTRRTOYYYYYY this cd NOW!!!!!!!!. I cant do it because I'm a dumbass. plus theres an evil sonic plushie on my bed..... WITH A KNIFE......... AND HES EVVIL........ Also I dont have much time because he will find me in 23 seconds.... (I have super fast writing abilities and can post letters with my mind) How do i use reverse psychology properly Oh wait fuck this isnt google ignore that. Dont try to mail me again because I will be dead. From Kyle jenner
i KNEW it was him because of his handwriting... But his handwriting looked much more rushed than normal and it looked like someone else's handwriting... But..... What's a reverse psychology? Anyway, I thought of burning the disk but then I thought..... Nahhhhhhh.... I always wanted a sonic plushie.... And an evil one too? Maybe that will show my dumbass mom that Sonic isn't a kids game..... It's for MANLY EDGY TEENS LIKE ME. I inserted the CD into my computer and a file popped up..... it was called Sonic.iso, i opened it and it was...... The Sonic & knuckles collection (the erm..... WORST sonic game..... It doesnt have the spike glitch so i HATE it.) So i selected sonic 3 and knuckles but..... something changed...... The sonic 3 and knuckles title screen played but for 0.25 second something changed. Luckily i have a photorealistic memory so i can tell you what was there. The water was red like... like... HYPERREALISTIC Blood... Sonics eyes were black and red (because they are the most scary colors) and "sonic 3 and knuckles" said "Sonic 3 and evil. The sega 1994 screen said satan 3v1l.... It looked...... EEEEEEYIKES!!!!! SCARY??????? This game must be EXTREMELY GLITCHYY! It took me to the save select screen but the colors were weird........ I created a savefile with Sonic. The game took me to Lava reef act 1. For some reason it was a flat line. I started walking.... when SUDDENLY..... i saw..... SCARY THINGS!!!!! i saw SKELETONS and DEAD PEOPLE...... SO I went forward, There were more SUPER......... SCARY...... GHOSTS......... is this a halloween hacks?... I was terrified... How could these spooky skeletons appear!!!! Suddenly I found Sonic. But What the heck?????
I was sonic???? How could sonic meet another sonic??? But then.... Sonic teleported sonic to angel island zone... It was also a straight line. jeez. whoever made this game sucks at level design. I made sonic run and then suddenly spooky sussy sonic went on the screen and started chasing me... But i was real sonic and i was faster than him soooooooooooooooooooooo...... i SPIN DASHED AWAY!!!!!!!!... I was taken back to the level select and sonics save said clear and the image was sonic... with black... hyper realistic bloody eyes... and he was angry because he couldn't kill sonic. Haha stupid spooky sonic!!!! Don't you know sonic has plot armour? I started a new savefile with tails the fox... He was in scrap brain zone from Sonic 1, but what the heck??? This is sonic 3 & evil, not sonic 1, Tails went through scrap brain zone when suddenly tv static appeared and after that lots of..... GULP....... BLOOOD showed up..... it looked...... HYPER REALISTIC!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!!!, it was SO scary. I went forwards and then saw spooky sonic. Lots of spooky sonic illusions appeared, so i spindashed into some... but it kept appearing left and right which was boring so i decided to skip this boss fight. i flew tails away..... then i heard a spooky voice saying "you're not supposed to do that fucking idiot come back here". so instead of coming back, i kept going, and i was taken back to the file select screen. Sonic looked even madder because i escaped 2 times. LEL!!!!! I started a new savefile with Knuckl. Wait... Didnt I knock him out??????? He was sent to a place called ,,, ... it was filled with kitchen tiles and had the background of balls zone from sonic one!!!! I bet he's in hell now for interrupting my playsession of sonic 4. i was once again extremely confused because this is sonic 3 & satan... Anyway the level was filled with stairs but knuckles aint gonna walk down stairs so i glided down... until spooky sonic caught me,, but knuckles kicked him in the face and ran away... the main antagonist of this game is so dumb........ :brokenheart: sooooo..... I won the game!!!! i was taken back to level select and there was a new save... it was SCARY SONIC Aand he had this face >:O... Sooo i decided to delete his save file but there was a secret easter egg , , , you know in sonic 3 how theres a delete save file button with robuttnik right, i clicked that to delete spooky sonci... but instead i went on a eggbutt save????? he was in a level called "SCARY EVIL LEVEL" and it was filled with SPIKES and EVIL PEOPLE. then.... I saw evil sonic.... and he.... KILLED... EGGMAN..... i tried to run but he was TOO FUCKING FAT. Maybe if you didnt EAT SO MUCH then you could have escaped????? Heh. I totally let Sonic win! maybe now SEGA will be able to utilize new villains.... then.... 12.3 seconds later.... a screen popped up. it was sonic.exe ermmm i mean sonic.iso.... he looked PISSED. then 17 seconds later static appeared and 2 seconds later some text showed up saying "FUCK YOU" i took the disk out of my pc.... but i didnt destroy it because I am a hoarder,, when suddenly I saw a EVILL..... SONIC..... PLUSHIE........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it said "im gonna kill you i hate you fuck you"... i was like "OMG NOW I CAN SHOW MY BITCH ASS MOM THAT SONIC ISNT FOR KIDS!!!!" so i called mom and something weird happened... she came down and the sonic plushie.... KILLED her....... then.... he KILLED me.......... I am DEAD now......
Written by Cooing Slinky 11
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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