Soup

When you make soup, and the spoon falls all the way into your soup. Do you feel weird licking the handle? I mean, you always put one end in your mouth, why does it feel so weird licking the handle clean? Or do you not lick the handle clean? Do you use your napkin and clean off all that soup now you need to get yourself a new napkin because that napkin is soaked in soup? You know there's no way you're going to clean yourself with a soup soaked napkin, you might as well have licked the handle. But say you actually licked the handle, do you use the napkin to clean your saliva off the napkin? Isn't it just moot at this point because the little saliva that you just put on your napkin that you've avoided putting on your hand will eventually get on your hand anyway because you're going to grab the napkin again, unless you're somehow gambling that you'll never touch the spot on the napkin where you've wiped your mouth and when you've finished your soup you've avoided any saliva getting on your hand and that's somehow you telling the Universe, "Not today, ether!" for losing your soup in the first place?

You're a soup liar. Just lick the handle. Make it weird, do it in front of people.

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