SpONgEBooooOO... - The Lost Spongebob Episode
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SpongeBob is, and will remain, one of my favorite all-time shows ever. Full of laughter, pieces of all-age humor, and general awesomeness, I will always be entranced by it. However, SpongeBob has its secrets, as does any other show. Let us begin in 2002. This is where it began. I was attending a Nickelodeon KCA event and Stephen Hillenburg was there as well. I was, and still am, a huge fan of the show, so naturally I wanted to track down Stephen and ask him about a rumor of a lost episode. You see, a rumor had started about a month ago over the possibility of a lost or banned episode, rejected by Nickelodeon executives. Well, I successfully tracked him down and asked him. He turned a little pale and cleared his throat, but answered my question. To my surprise, he invited me to come to Nickelodeon studios to see the episode he was working on itself. He explained that they had hired a new animator to fill in for the other one who was out with a case of mono. He hadn't actually seen the episode, so he wanted someone to view it with.
The next day Stephen gave me a call, telling me to meet him at the Studios' gates. After meeting up, we headed inside and watched this so-called "lost episode". The images will stay with my until I die. When we arrived, 3 other animators (even the voice actor for Patrick was there. Exciting!) all gathered to watch the VHS tape. It began as a normal episode would, except for some reason, the show was cutting small pieces of the intro off. Thinking it was just a VHS tape error, I ignored it. The next odd thing was the opening title card. It was titled "SpONgEBooooOO...". Like, literally, that was the title card. Almost like a corrupted file on a computer. Our next problem was that the sound: it wasn't the real narrator's voice, or if it was, it was an octave and a half too low and way too static-y. The cast was visibly unnerved by the strange occurrences, but we pressed on. When we got to SpongeBob... I just... it wasn't him at all.
Let me explain (I was too stupid to bring a camera that day to photograph anything, first of all, his holes were streamed down in a sense as if they were drooping. Next, his color was off, too! It was a deep mustard-yellowish-brown, instead of bright yellow. His teeth: crooked. But his eyes, oh his discolored eyes, black, soulless, holes with red dots in the middle. We all jumped when his face just jumped onto the screen: it was as if his eyes stared into your soul. One of the female animators voiced a small squeak, but we pressed on. I wish we didn't. The demented-looking SpongeBob met Patrick at his rock, like any other cartoon. The happy-go-lucky cartoon music, however, played screechingly high, and backwards. The sea was a blood red. The voicing wasn't the same, either. Patrick also looked malicious and distorted: his face with a tint of evil, but his eyes were photo realistic, except for the pupils. They were a blood-red.
SpongeBob had met Patrick at his rock, hoping to go see Squidward. Squidward looked nearly the same, except his blue had a faint tint of red. They walked right into Squidward's house, and Squidward began yelling at them. However, this yelling sounded threatening, malicious, and edgy. He threatened to murder them with an axe the first chance he got. SpongeBob just began to glare at him. Slowly he edged toward Squidward, grabbing his clarinet. The next was just gruesome. Steph was shaken up already about the other episode titled "Squidward's suicide", and wouldn't, couldn't, take more. SpongeBob was about to strike at Squidward, and raised the clarinet, about to strike him. The screen twitched and froze for a moment, losing its color. When rewound, it, thankfully, didn't reveal the boy being ripped apart, but it revealed a picture of a bloody knife. When played again, it had its color again, but only intensified the gruesome detail.
You could only hear bloodcurdling screams in the room as Squidward was stabbed on-camera. The detail of gore and brain matter was of near photo-realism. The screams intensified as the volume crawled up on its own and the recording equipment began to smoke! When it was max the screams began climbing higher and higher until I couldn't stand it. We were on the verge of breaking out of the room, but we were locked in. I was about to start destroying speakers when it stopped. Now SpongeBob looked straight into the camera and smiled. It cut to black. We thought it was over. We were wrong. It then showed a bright picture of Mr. Krabs' dead body, hanging next to Pearl, who was being brutally violated by SpongeBob and Patrick. Her screams were like no other. While that was tame compared to what was seen earlier, until the image came up. It was the image of a man. He was lying in a pile of his internals.
While bleeding to death, slowly. He was about to blink when it cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick. They were in the Tree Dome, but this time, they showed very graphic pictures of Sandy being fucked now. As SpongeBob thrust into her, he whispered, "Ego irrumabo anima tua et trucidare te". The person who played Patrick immediately paled, and whispered to me what it meant. SpongeBob said, "I will fuck your soul and murder you." Right after the person who played Patrick finished saying it, SpongeBob pulled a gun out and aimed it at Sandy's head. Sandy began sucking off SpongeBob in hopes of not getting killed, but it was a futile attempt. SpongeBob shot Sandy straight in the head, then proceeded to fuck Sandy's lifeless body some more!
Finally, SpongeBob and Patrick stopped fucking Sandy, stared at the camera with creepy smiles, and screamed a scream so piercing that made one of the animators deaf for an hour. The speakers fizzled and exploded out, destroying the sound equipment, and unlocking the door. The screen went immediately to black. We ran out of the room as fast as possible as the female animator began puking outside. I stood by Stephen, visibly shaking and on the verge of fainting. Stephen was too pale to look human. The next day we found out the additional animator committed suicide. To this day we never found out what had happened. The timestamp was of 20 minutes before the tapes delivery, and no other clues to its whereabouts. They replaced every single piece of video and audio equipment, leaving nothing to chance. Me and Stephen burned the tape so no one would ever be traumatized the way we were. I am still shaken about it to this day. The female animator committed suicide 3 days later. If you ever ask Nickelodeon Studios about it, they will deny its existence.
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