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Sunky.MPEG: Difference between revisions
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Hello Sunky enthusiast! My name is Machinegun Moneybags, but you can just call me Machinegun M-m-m-m-moneybags. I'm a total Sunky fan, just like everybody else in the world (and if you say you aren't, you're lying). I have all of the games, graphic novels, and limited-edition holographic bathsoaps, and now it's time to switch subjects entirely. I don't think I've ever played a hitchy or glacked game before, though I don't think I want to play any after the experience I had three dots...
==
It started on a beautiful stormy day. After a long day of fighting World War ll, I was tasting my copy of Sunky Unlooshed until my eye receptors input light rays to implant an image into my head of the events currently happening: the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailshark as usual and left. I flew out the window to go see what it was... The only thing in the mailshark's mouth was a package and a note. The note read: <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Hi. <br />
<br />
-Santa <strong>Claws</strong> (Get it? Me neither) <br />
<br />
I then looked inside the package, and there was a jewelcase. Since I didn't have any jewels, I threw it in the recycling bin (remember, be green or else!). I reached down deeper inside the mouth of my mailshark, and retrieved a CD case for computers (a bit self-explanatory, but I spell everything out and don't respect the intelligence of the readers) and a note. Holding both in my hands, I swam inside to investigate them like the pickle pie purist I am. I looked at the note first and realized it was from my dear friend: Chesty Glitterwhip! I know it was him because it was his handwriting, except that it wasn't. <br />
This is what he wrote... <br />
<br />
Dear Machinegun Moneybags. . . <br />
<br />
<strong>DESTROY THAT DISK IMMEDIATELY!!!!! DON'T PUT IT IN ANY DEVICE AT ALL!!!!! IF YOU DON'T HATE ME, DO AS I SAY!!!!! </strong><br />
<br />
-Chesty Glitterwhip <br />
<br />
I took note of what he said, but then ignored it when I noticed the disk was SHINY!! Shiny disks? Yes please! I'll disrespect my peers any day for such a great payoff! And the icing on this (metaphorical(maybe)) cake was that it had "SUNKY" written on it! <br />
<br />
<strong>ANY</strong> way, I went up to my room and sat in my chair and turned on my compootpoot and put the disc in and closed the tray and looked up at the screen and breathed in and breathed out and blinked and clicked on stuff and clicked on things that aren't stuff and opened the disk's folder. The only file was "SUNKY.MPEG". When I clicked it, an EXE opened up. When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was the first installment in the Sunky series, Sunky the Game! I was like, "Totally tubular, broski!" After mashing my face on the keyboard to start games like I usually do, I saw the title screen change into something else for a split second. ==
The sky had darkened, the logo became rusted, much like the inner workings of my heart. Instead of saying "Sunky the Game", the title ribbon said "Sunky the EVIL", and the Level Select button said "EVIL EVIL" The water in the background was red like...like...like...THE COLOR RED!!! AAAAHH!!!!!
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The files had three characters on them: Tlels the Fix, Knicknacks the Enchilada, and Dr. Robotnik. I yelled "WTF!?!" out loud like an annoying teenage girl who uses text speech as part of her verbal vocabulary.
That's when I realized....
THIS ISN'T A GLITCHY SUNKY THE GAME!!!!! THIS MUST BE HACKED OR SOMETHING!!!!!
I'm sure I came to that conclusion at a legitimate time. Most times when playing games, super evil level selects appear when they're glitchy, but PLAYING AS ROBOTNIK!?!! THIS ISN'T SOME KIND OF MADE-UP STORY WHERE LUDACROUS THINGS LIKE THAT CAN JUST HAPPEN NORMALLY!!!!!
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The screen stayed black for 4.13612691337420 seconds, and then the level title thing object item indicator words thing came on screen, but the complicated shapes were different shades of RED OOH COLORS ARE SCARY. The level was called "The Hills Are Alive", and this angered me since I had not yet seen The Sound Of Music, and I didn't want any spoilers.
New paragraph! The screen faded in to show Tlels in Level The Green One from Sunky the Game. The music was scary though; it was the Goof Troop theme song. Just like you usually do in this level, I held right the whole time. However, there weren't any enemies or rings or anything other than a flat strip of land. After a while, Tlels saw a dead squirrel. His reaction didn't change since that would be really hard to program. Even if the game is haunted or whatever, we don't live in a fairy-tale land of perfect programming. More dead animals started appearing the further Tlels went. Soon, they stopped appearing as the music stopped. Tlels saw Sunky on the right side of the screen. He was looking the other way, eyes closed.
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The music changed to the suspenseful tune of You're On Blast as I see (Consistent verb tenses? Not in my story!) Sunky behind Tlels. He was slowly gaining up on him FLYING!!!! Sunky wasn't running, he was actually FLYING!!!!!! THAT WAS THE MOST PREPOSTEROUS THING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME THAT DAY!!!!
Suddenly, Tlels tripped as another cut scene began. The music stopped and Sunky vanished. Tlels laid there and started crying for 15 watchstops. The scene was super sad! How could this happen to Tlels! I cried as much as my body could allow! Anyone but Tlels! He was the one who raised me! He understood me more than anyone! And now, I had to sit there, watching my closest pal suffer! Oh, the agony!
But then I remembered none of that was true, and that he was just a fictional game character in a non-canon game that couldn't be in any real danger due to the fact that he was fictional.
But then Unky Sunky appeared right in front of Tlels, and the orangey-yellowey-can't really tellowey fox looked up in horror.
I could do nothing but watch. Well, I could've left the room to prevent being scared, turned off the computer, closed the game, or file my taxes, but I didn't feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel like it.
Just in a split second Sunky danced with Tlels right before the screen went black. The text returned, only this time it said:
AW YEAH! THIS IS HAPPENIN!
I was so shocked by what had happened...did Sunky have a silly dance party with Tlels? No, he couldn't have... He and Tlels were supposed to be waiting 'til marriage, right?
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As I sat there staring at the black screen, one last message came up, paired with an image of a happy Tlels.
"You fiddled the riddle!"
The game then closed itself.
I solved the clever little setup this game made for me, and I felt prouder than a turtle on Saturday! The next day, I told Chesty Glitterwhip about how I cracked the code, and he gave me a little paper ribbon.
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[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:Sonic]]
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