King Koopa's Kool Kartoons: Difference between revisions
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<nowiki>*</nowiki>sigh* I don’t know why I get up in the morning... Hey, if you grew up in Los Angeles in the early 1990s, you may remember a television show called King Koopa’s Kool Kartoons. It was a live show involving a grown man in a detailed King Koopa outfit with believable reptilian features introducing public domain cartoons and the Muppet Babies to an unsuspecting audience... When I was young, I was a cast member on that show. By that, I mean I was one of the kids on the program who wore the Koopa Troopa t-shirt and hat. Don’t bother searching for it—you won’t find much of anything, other than confirmation that the program existed. Otherwise, other than the intro and outro, all you’ll find is one brief clip of King Koopa with his pet dog Ratso, disrupting a Thanksgiving dinner that Koopa had festively prepared for who even knows. After all, he was King Koopa—it wasn’t like he had any friends. I kinda felt bad for him. Then again, it was just a guy in a suit.
This probably doesn’t surprise you, but the show didn’t last very long. Not just because it was bad (which it was) but because of what happened in the final episode. The second King Koopa—the first one had previously quit due to an unspecified
Me, uh, years passed by and I forgot that the show ever even existed. I was freshening up and preparing for a date before I decided to go get the mail before I headed off to Mickey D’s. Bills, bills, bills... Fast food coupons... Free trip to Tahiti... The usual. But that package…
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You know, that mask wasn’t quite the way I remembered it. His eyes were… really, really blistering pink. King Koopa with pink eye? What sort of statement was that supposed to make? The spikes on his costume seemed extra sharp, too. They made me feel queasy just looking at them. Wasn’t this show supposed to be for kids? Yeah, obviously. I mean, who else would’ve watched it? But…
The kids all looked sad, but that wasn’t even the worst part. As the camera panned over them, they looked… bony? As if they hadn’t eaten for days? This made me nauseous. The joke was that Koopa only had the appearance of being bad—he didn’t… he didn’t starve children. He handed out prizes
I waited for someone, anyone, to say anything. A nearly bald boy and a girl with long but thinning hair sat on a step in front of the usual building in a disturbing silence. I considered turning the tape off, until I got up and looked a little closer, and… whoo.
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