Big Bird Plays Among Us at McDonald's: Difference between revisions
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Big Bird Plays Among Us at McDonald's (view source)
Revision as of 18:36, 22 August 2023
, 10 months ago→top: replaced: “ → " (12), ” → " (12), ’ → ' (23)
(Created page with "{{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by DaveTheUseless}} In any city, in any country, you can walk into the nearest McDonald’s and order five-star cuisine at absolutely sensational prices. Really, it’s not a bad gig, but more importantly, something tragic happened to me at a McDonald’s five years ago that changed my life for the worse and left my jaw shattered in several places. It all started when I was sitting down at a table and enjoying a Big...") |
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{{Note credit|This is a fictional joke story written by DaveTheUseless}}
In any city, in any country, you can walk into the nearest
It all started when I was sitting down at a table and enjoying a Big Mac to myself because I had no friends. My father was just mad about
It was Big Bird! At first I thought it was a guy in a suit, but no, it was him in the flesh, I mean feathers! I ran up to him and hugged his legs and asked him what he was doing so far away from Sesame Street.
It was then that I literally lost my shit, because Big Bird got really, really pissed off and wrapped his feathery fingers or webs or whatever you call them for birds around the scholarly
Big Bird turned around, as the high school dropout customer service representative caught his breath and stuttered off to the frycook area, dazed and confused (I know for a fact that he smokes pot during his lunch breaks).
I vomited up at least a couple and a half french fries after what happened next… happened. Big
Big Bird plopped two double-A batteries into my Game Boy. This was after… he ripped open the back cover of my Game Boy and stuck my two double-A batteries up his nose.
I figured everything was alright now, given that Big Bird was happily rotating between the A and B buttons and the control pad and playing what I assumed was TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan on my Nintendo Game Boy.
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It was the shock of my life when he handed back my portable gaming console fifteen minutes later, and I checked the cartridge label on the back.
"Amogus."
My jaw unhinged. I rolled around on the floor in spastic motions, arms and legs flailing, as the parademics arrived, put me on a stretcher, and hauled me off into the ambulance.
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