Splinter Cell: Bloodlist

I have been an avid Splinter Cell fan for some time. I decided to take my love for Splinter Cell to the next level, and I became an intern at Ubisoft Toronto during the production of Splinter Cell: Blacklist.

It was a dream come true. I was surrounded by Splinter Cell, well, everything. Props, posters, concept art, the lot. But one day, my internship took a dark turn when the producers were reviewing the opening cutscene.

It started out as normal, with the squad of Engineers killing their way through the airbase at Guam. But as the U.S. soldiers lay dying, I noticed the pools of blood surrounding them were super-ultra-mega-evil-PATRIXXX hyper realistic. I disregarded it, as no-one else seemed to notice.

Later on, during a gameplay test of the level, Max (the game's creative director) began playing through the tunnel sequence where Sam and Vic witness a U.S. soldier being shot. Again, the blood effects were hyper realistic, but I thought it must be a glitch. Suddenly, the water in the tunnel became dark red.

Everyone gasped, and that's when I knew something was wrong. As Vic reached the end of the tunnel, instead of waiting for Sam to give him a boost, he is killed in the same manner the U.S. soldier was earlier.

Max begins to question what's going on. He turns around to us, shouting, while on the screen, Sam begins to move of his own accord.

Everyone gasps again, and Max storms out of the room in a rage.

Sam moves towards Vic's corpse, and begins rapidly crouching and uncrouching, no, teabagging his best friend's dead body. He then utters the words which haunt me to this day:

"Haha lol get rekt scrub"

Everyone began leaving the demo room, and I sat there shocked.

That day, I resigned from my internship.

I went home and took a nap. I had a dream about the Teletubbies tripping out, and then I woke in a cold hot left right up down Konami code sweat.

I glanced at my clock. It was 11:23 PM.

Suddenly, Vic's hyper-realistic ghost appeared to me, and said:

"You can't stop the Bloodlist..."

He then disappeared, and make a Kefka laugh as he went. Shortly afterwards, I peed my pants, and then decided to shoot some hoops on my private basketball court which I totally have. After scoring eleventy-seven slam dunks, I went to go read Splinter Cell: Fallout.

As I opened the book, a skeleton popped out.

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