Spongebob Squarepants: No Show
One day, I was going to spend the night at my girlfriend's house. Her mom and dad is going to spend at her grandma's house at the hospitial to see how is her grandpa was doing. She had a Spongebob DVD on her shelf. She decides she wanted to watch her little brother's DVD. The disc looked funny. Spongebob was just saying the title of it in a depressed emotion. The top of the speech bubble was faded. Showing a yellow DVD disc and showed some green circles which I'm guess it has the same colors of Spongebob's body.
My girlfriend put the DVD into the player, where the coming soon on videocassette and DVD was supposed to be. It was just like the timer for when the feature presentation was coming on, it kept shooting the static most of the time. Instead of the Paramount presentation, it showed the Paramount logo sitting motionless. My girlfriend and I was thinking that the DVD is a special.
After about 15 seconds waiting, a funny looking Nickelodeon logo came on. The nickelodeon logo was bouncing in the air and transformed in a ball and then did a freeze frame afterwards. Then Patrick's face appear on the screen after the Nickelodeon logo faded to black.
"You are about to watch a special episode of Spongebob." said Patrick. Then the screen went to black. "Hmm. That's a odd way to start the show." I said. "Yeah I know. But why? Why would Patrick introduced us the video?" asked my girlfriend. But I don't know.
The Spongebob intro started. But instead of the Jaunty music, it was depressing piano music. Someone said: "Hi wanna play with me?" in a voice that sound nothing like no one. A shock of static across the screen. Gary was CGI animation instead of paper animation. And when Spongebob's pineapple door opened, we see nobody at the living room. There was silent. Weird silent.
Then the TV bursted with static. And when the episode came back on, Spongebob appeared at the living room.
Spongebob said: "Hello little boys and little girls. We won't do our show today. Sorry." The kids said in confused voice: "Why?"
The screen shot a tiny burst of static reveling a nasty, squishy corpse of a snail. It was Gary. Gary was on his back, shell all torn with snail guts on the shattered shell. Gary's eyes popped and was a eyeless snail. I almost threw up but I held in my puke. My girlfriend didn't threw up that's because she never gets sick easy.
It cuts back to Spongebob. Spongebob was smiling very big at a rate where CGI wasn't that much realistic in 2007. The kids in the background was screaming. This screaming was getting louder til Spongebob said: "You kids would learn blood, death and gore."
The TV went to static for a boring 2 minutes. We was trying to think if this was really made by Paramount.
We quickly a snack and continued watching the whole thing then. After the static ended, Spongebob said that he would played a special game. The background kids cheered. He went to Patrick's rock and knock on the rock. "Hi Spongebob wanna go jellyfishing?" A louder gunshot rang. The screen changed to black and Spongebob laughed in a soft voice.
After the screen faded back, we see Squidward with red bloody eyes, and Mr. Krabs with white eyes and sharp teeth so realistic it feels like you can't touch them.
Spongebob asked if they wanted any "kelp soda". The couple said "Sure thing". Static once again shot across the screen. I could make out Satan in the static. My girlfriend asked if I saw Satan, obviously I said yes. So we snuggled up with each other, waiting for the worst to come.
The episode came back on with Spongebob saying," Here you go, two servings of kelp soda."
Squidward and Mr. Krabs were in CGI this time. They drank Spongebob's soda and liked it.
"Yummy, what's in this?" Squidward asked.
" Cyanide, Rat Poison and Sour Milk of course." Spongebob replied.
" WHAT!?" Mr. Krabs screeched.
Suddenly, the two were coughing up puke out of their bodies instantly instead of blood. My girlfriend and I watched in horror as the two alive inanimate animals suffered to meet their fate.
Spongebob was satisfied of his accomplishment. He kept going.
Sandy and Mrs. Puff were in the backyard, and they looked sad, and all they were doing were staring at two little building rubbles that resembled Mrs. Puff's boating school.
Sandy said in a sad voice," Poor Boating School."
Mrs. Puff said in a saddest voice,"I miss my Boating School."
Spongebob came and said in an old man's voice,"And you're next!"
"No!" Sandy and Mrs. Puff said.
Spongebob closed his eyes for 3 seconds and opened them, revealing bloodshot eyes.
Sandy and Mrs. Puff screamed and ran away from "Spongebob"
Spongebob sang "Ring around the Rosie" in a creepy Freddy Kruger voice.
He found Mrs. Puff and grabbed her by the skirt. Mrs. Puff was bloodcurdling screaming as blood shot got all over the place. Sandy started crying to her friend's death and sprinted away.
Sandy started running to the front yard where he found Karen and Plankton. Sandy told Karen and Plankton to run, but they said: "Run. Run. Why?" The voice of Karen and Plankton sounded like Spongebob for some reason.
Sandy whispered to himself,"I'm coming with you Mrs. Puff."
Spongebob came and said," Hello, little brown squirrel, wanna play?"
Sandy answered,"okay."
Spongebob shoved Ssandy into Karen's data, with Karen's data closed around Sandy's neck, with Spongebob holding Karen's data closed. When the two died, Spongebob spreaded in the house, with static jolting around again for 1 minute.
After the static was all gone, we saw Spongebob and Larry the Lobster. Larry was blindfolded.
" Are you ready for your present Larry?" Steve asked all fake happy.
Larry said in Plankton's voice," I'm always ready!"
Spongebob counted,"One, Two, Three!"
A knife sliced Larry the Lobster in half. Spongebob was happy.
"Satan is my king, I must kill myself to make him happy and want to be with him!" Spongebob said.
Suddenly, the screen turned black, and a rope sound came out of Gary.
The Nickelodeon logo came on and it was shaped as a knife. On the handle, there was a small label with the number 666 on it. Also on it was text saying "Él te va a alcanzar el próximo". My girlfriend told me it was Spanish for "He's gonna get you next ". There were no credits.
The screen then bursted with static and the power went out.
We had a scared look on our faces and we look at the DVD and we sold on eBay for like $5.00. We would never seen that scary Spongebob DVD. We wrote a letter to Viacom and asked them about the episode and they said the episode would not aired only in 2006 cause that episode was never aired due to the bad bloody parts and even gore. That is why the DVD is gone. For now.
My girlfriend slept very well and so did I. We didn't had no nightmare of the DVD as such. That's why it's always the craziest story I ever told you.
Credited to William Waldrip
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