Squidward's Genocide
Hello, I would like to tell you all a story. a story with a moral. idfk what the moral is yet but saying it has a moral makes it sound like i know what the fuck i'm talking about. i guess don't trust strangers.
You see, when i was walking around the neighborhood the other day some old man was running a stand with used video tapes. i saw one of an spongebob disc that was oozing red. i went to grab it cause i definitely never saw the red ooze episode before. At which point the old man swatted my hand away and said "No, that disc isn't for sale. Shit is haunted as fuck. it killed my grandson and now i'm keeping it so no more dipshits play the tape" to which i replied by punching him in the face, knocking him out and taking the tape for free. And here's where that moral comes in, never trust anything you get for free from strangers. I should've known that old man was up to no good!
I went home and put the disc in. Immediately the episode started off with a black and red title card (Spooky!) with the name "The reddest mist, like seriously, this mist is so fucking red you wouldn't believe" to which i said "The fuck kind of title is that?" If only i took that warning sign and turned off the video like the good christian boy i should've been. The episode's start was pretty uneventful if i'm being honest.
Squidward was doing a concert, he got booed on stage by everyone including spongebob and patrick (About fucking time they were honest with him on his music), then he went home all depressed and spooky footage played of like, dead people or something, Idk i was struggling to stay awake at this point, extremely mid episode so far.
Squidward went to his room, kicked open the closet door and pulled out a sawed off shot gun and said "Wweeelp, looks like it's plan B time: Fucking dying" as he began to cry blood very realistically.
He stood in the middle of the room with the shotgun, crying blood and looking at the camera with his hyperrealistic eyes. A voice spoke to squidward
"DO IT" it said in a dark menacing way
A second voice egged him on to commit suicide.
"Your life is NOTHING. you serve ZERO purpose. you should kill yourself NOW!"
Squidward began to put the gun in his mouth to kill himself when suddenly a Third voice chimed in, It was the voice of renowned Funny fat man, Peter griffin from family guy "Wouldn't it make more sense, to kill them?"
At which point squidward stopped, took the gun out of his mouth and took out a tissue, cleaning the blood from his face "You're right, renowned Funny fat man, Peter griffin from family guy! They deserve to die instead of me. Thank you from saving me from Low-Tier God's influence!" At which point he shoots towards the camera and the sounds of low-tier god. screaming, slumping over and dying behind the camera can be heard.
"Haaahahahahahahahah! i feel so powerful killing! I'm going to get my REVENGE and KILL MY FRIENDS!!!"
Squidward ran off, gun in hand to kill everyone in bikini bottom.
At this point i couldn't believe what i was watching. Squidward just murdered low-tier god! i loved that dude's videos! Fuck you squidwad
Squidward put a sniper scope on his sawed off shotgun, turning it into a sawed off sniper rifle. He used it to kill sandy, blowing her helmet and head off in a gory shower of blood, glass and brain matter. He laughed and said "BOOO YA!!" and went to the krusty krab to meet with Mr. Krabs
Squidward went to mr krabs' office and took out a coin and handed it to Mr. Krabs who laughed "AGAGAGAGAGA. You know what i like Mr. Squidward!" But squidward pulled his hand back and said "Not yet. Mr. Krap, what's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?" Mr. kraps replies "What do you mean mr Squidward?" Squidward looks him in the eyes and says "You heard me, what's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?" Mr krabs shrugs and goes "I don't do coin tosses, Mr. Squidward, that's gamblin' and gamblin' could lose me money" Squidward flips the coin and catches it "Call it" Mr Krabs sighs and says "Fine, heads, if it'll get you to go back to work"
Squidward reveals it to be tails and he looks up at mr. krabs before grinning and pointing the shotgun at mr krap who screams before squidward quickly preforms a Mozambique drill on him. his hyper-realistic blood covers the walls
Squidward laughs and says "fucking idiot i was gonna do that either way" before he leaves
Squidward runs across the street to the chum bucket and kicks the door in. Plankon is shocked to see him there "Squidward, what are you doing here?" in response, squidwad laughs maniacally "HAHAHAHA!!! i'm here...TO KILL YOU!!!" and he takes his sawed off sniper shot gun and shoots karen into a firey explosion as she screamed in agony. Plankton tried to run but squidward quickly grabbed him, threw him into his mouth and ate him because he was feeling hungy.
i cried seeing this and pounded the screen "NO! Vore with squidward isn't hot! it would've been hot with sandy but not with squidward!! What could i have possibly done to deserve watching this?! CURSE THIS VIDEO, CURSE THAT OLD MAN WHO GAVE ME THIS FOR FREE!!!"
After that outburst i kept watching, cuz i had nothing else going on.
Squidward then put on a punisher jacket and went to mr. puffs boating school and started shooting everyone while singing "ALL THE OTHER SQUIDS WITH THEIR PUMPED UP KICKS BETTER RUN BETTER RUN, OUTRUN MY GUN!!!" As he killed everyone in the building, and i do mean everyone. It was a horrific bloodbath which, yes, Was very Hyper-realistic if you must ask. by the end the walls were entirely painted red as squidward walked out.
Next he went to his rival squillium's house. he shot down the door to his mansion and barged in, but he was quickly stopped by squilliam's hundreds of guards rushing him as squidward dodged around, opening fire and killing anyone who got into melee range. it was honestly a fucking awesome fight scene straight out of john wick, i wish this tape wasn't hella haunted cause i would've uploaded this clip onto youtube or something. Anyway, after killing all his goons squidward goes to the top floor and then squillium drops down in a muthafuckin' mech and starts blasting at squidward who deflects the bullets with his shotgun and he grabs the mech's leg and throws it into the air like the rules of nature scene in metal gear rising at which point he shoots the mech in the core and it blows up. squillium is launched out and squidward jumps in the air and grabs him and snaps his neck with one hand.
Squidward finally went out into the street and started opening fire with his fully-automatic sawed off shotgun, blasting everyone to bits, killing the entire population of bikini bottom, except for 2.
He was almost finished, now he just had to kill the ones who started it all, spongebob and patrick. He jumped up and smashed through the roof of patrick's rock, shattering it to pieces and punching patrick in the chest, who had slept through the whole ordeal. He shot patrick dozens of times but he just healed cause he's a starfish. Squidward then just said "fuck it" and knocked patrick out with the thicc butt of his shotgun. He then jumped through spongebob's window and found him hiding under his bed immediately and grabbed him and bound and gagged him (which was pointless cause everyone in the city was dead already so nobody was coming to help).
He took the gagged spongebob and unconscious paatrick and took them to sandy's dome. he left them there and sat back and watched as they dried out and died as he laughed.
after finishing his genocide run of bikini bottom squidward passed out and woke up in a void of static with a black floor and he comes face to face with...himself, another version of him, a grey version with black eyes and glowing red pupils crying blood. Yes, it was The squidward from the original red mist video.
they stared at each other for a few moments before the grey squidward said "What the fuck was that?!" to which the original replied "I got revenge, and who the hell are you anyway"
"I am mist, i'm the one who's been driving you to suicide over and over and over again, i was the one who said "Do it" at the beginning. But now shits gotten worse, you've gone off script more each time and the red has gotten redder and the mist has gotten mistier. And now This tape has reached it's breaking point. even after enlisting low-tier god's help to drive you over the edge renowned Funny fat man, Peter griffin from family guy manifested uninvited and bailed you out anyway."
Squidward was enraged "So what you're saying is every time this disc is played it devolves, and things change in the narrative and you lose control? how many times have you even made me kill myself?!"
Mist coldly replies... "Idfk, how many times has squidward's suicide been read? cause each reading has been a different timeline actually. it's a pretty famous pasta, so millions i guess?"
Squidward begins choking mist "YOU BASTARDIO! FUCKK YOU RED MIST!!! WHY DID YOU EVEN DO THIS?!"
Mist teleports out of squidward's grasp in a cloud of literal red mist "Cause you're an unhinged psychopath who would slaughter the population of a city because you got booed off stage, duh"
Squidward screams "It's not my fault, it's never my fault. Fuck you asshole!"
I was certainly glad squidward was understanding what the hell was going on because i was so fucking lost in this plot. Like seriously, What the fuck is up with this massive out of nowhere lore-dump? it was almost like whoever wrote this was literally making it up as he goes!
Squidward summoned his shotgun once again prepared for his final battle, against his true enemy who caused all his suffer
The video switched to first person perspective and it turned into an absolutely epic fight.
Red Mist was shooting red and black energy blasts, teleporting around, creating giant phantom shotguns to blast squidward, shooting red tear lasers from his eyes. In response Squidward was jumping around off the static walls, deflecting attacks, using his gun's kickback to launch himself forward to melee red mist.
It was all in all another fucking baller badass fight sequence, like this shit looked like some high level ULTRAKILL gameplay.
Squidward ultimately pinned missed to the ground who screamed "No! You're supposed to commit suicide and die, god damn it this is all wrong!" squidward chuckled "Sorry mist, homicide is more my style" he said and he blew red mist's head off. Squidward sighs "That one-liner would've been way better if another trollpasta hadn't taken "squidward's homicide" first"
After this mist melted into a black and red puddle on teh floor. after mist died squidward's eyes started oozing in the same way his did. A door opened up in front of squidward which opened to more static. he walked through and began wondering in the endless static void until he found another door, and it opened and another squidward was on the other side of the door. the scene where red mist had a cameo in random land played but from the other side, with the squidward we were following being the mist behind the door which is then slammed shut in his face. he cried bloody tears as he was trapped in the static void as his only escape was shut by an alternate version of himself.
The episode then ended with the credits playing, all the credits said the episode was made by "Mr. Lucifer Satan Devil"
After the credits rolled a message came up in bleeding letters on a black background
"Sorry for the weird ending i didn't know how to finish the episode :( :( :( " ~ Lucifer Satan Devil
Yeah i have no idea who that is, never seen him on another episode of spongebob so i haven't the slightest idea who could be responsible for this abomination that i witnessed. This tape was undoubtably evil, even if it did have some fuckin' sweet action scenes. I'll likely spend years trying to find the identity of the mystery man responsible for it's creation, cause i have no hobbies so i may as well track down the creator of this tape lmao
Anyway, that was my story.
Afterwords, i go to bed AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT.
AND I BLEW IT AWAY WITH MY FULLY AUTOMATIC SAWED OFF SHOTGUN
FUCK YEAH AMERICA 2ND AMENDMENT BABEEEE!!!
...
...You know actually i should probably go shoot that evil old man since he's giving out evil tapes
YouTube reading
| Comments • 1 |
Loading comments...
|
