Steamed Hams: an Unforgettable Luncheon
Unless You live under a rock, you People out there have definitely heard about the Simpsons. They're a funny cartoon on TV.
But they're also known for funny Memes on the Internets. A popular meme right now is know as "Steamed Hams". It's about Principal Skinner inviting Super Nintendo Chalmers for lunch. But his roast is on fire and so he goes to Krusty Burger to purchase Fast food or else he would get fired... or something like that.
Well it was funny once... Until I saw this one Video on Youtube. It was called "Steamed Hams but )IJ$j9(H89h2dXD" and I thought to my self "What the fuck is this supposed to be? What do these numbers mean?" and most Importantly: "Is this going to give me a seizure or what?" And since I was so curious I clicked on the video-thumbnail.
It all began as normal with Super Nintendo Chalmers ringing on Skinners Doorbell... But I realized that the Video-quality immediately sank. It was all like crispy and pixelated and raw and completely unwatchable. Like Someone recorded this with his toes in the way.
Skinner opened the door but instead of Chalmers saying "Well Seymour I made it, despite your directions." instead he yelled "SEEEEEEYYYMOOOOUUUUURRR!" but It was so loud and so distorted that I jumped up and and almost threw away my mug with Rick from Rick & Morty on it. I paused the video and sat in silence for like 10 minutes. I mean of course I'm watching a Youtube video were almost everything is possible but We all know that Jumpscares are the worst thing existing.
After calming myself down the first thing I did before continue watching this shit is turning down the volume. Then I took a look at the user who made this... there was Nothing... No profile picture or user name, just white background... And not even the view counter or the Like/Dislike bar were there. I scrolled down to see If there were any comments... Just one comment said: "Get fucced". "What is this Madness?!" I asked myself loudly. But, you know, It could be just a glitch so there was nothing to worry about.
Anyway, The video continued with Skinner saying the usual stuff: "Ahh, Superintendent Chalmers, Welcome. I hope you're prepared for an Unforgettable Luncheon." But after saying those two last words made the video and audio became extremely glitchy. Suddenly the Whole Site starts to break apart! "A VIRUS!!!" I thought to myself.
My monitor showed nothing but pure blackness but the Audio.. I was still able to hear white noise in the background while Skinners Mother yelled "HELP, HELP!" over and over again for about 2 minutes. I was scared as hell. Then Skinners head in black and white appeared with an evil smile on his face while looking directly at me. His face was hyper-realistic with big skin Pores, Wrinkles, blood-shot Eyes and yellow bloody teeth. It looked like it was made with Photoshop. With a deep monotone voice he said: "Delightfully Devilish, Seymour." It then cut to black.
I wanted to go the kitchen to grab a drink but I was too startled to move. "Why does this exist? Why does this bullshit exist?" Unexpectedly I heard heavy footsteps outside of my room and then a evil laughter. I had thoughts about Skinner being inside my house.
My door was being opened. It was Skinner himself, he looked just like in this one picture with that evil smile. He grabbed my arm and said in a calm, soft voice. "Do you want to see Aurora Borealis?". And then He showed me Aurora Borealis. It changed my life completely.
Thank You, Seymour.
Written by ZeUnKOWN Buttmunch
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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