Steven Universe Future Scrapped Finale
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Steven Universe was a critically acclaimed show that had garnered a massive following back in the early 2010's which had concluded its 7 year long run through its controversial limited epilogue series "Steven Universe Future" in 2020, in which the titular character breaks down from his traumatic past experiences, transforms into a giant pink Godzilla look-a-like before attending to therapy and driving off away from his home to god knows where. However, the show's runners had originally envisioned a much different finale for the show that had been canned following an incident involving the NSW Food Authority Partnership. While the episode was considered lost media, it was discovered on a Russian piracy website on the dark web within a zip file containing multiple lewd sketches of Greg's parents in late March 2021, the contents of the episode are as follows.
The episode begins similarly to the final episode "The Future" where Steven is working out at the beach and Connie warps in asking him if he's doing one last routine before moving out. It's after this scene that the episode diverges from the finalized version. Rather than going to his bedroom to finish his schedule with Connie, Steven begins to walk towards the Big Donut with a smile on his face.
"I'd better get one last snack from this place before I leave, but what should I get?" Steven says to himself in a contemplative manner. "I guess I never really gave those Lion Lickers a chance, huh?". Steven walks into the store and goes up to the counter asking a worker for a Lion Licker but they inform Steven that they no longer sell them.
"Sorry, but we ran out of those things a month ago, something about competition with Cougar Cummies." The worker says. The scene cuts to Steven's face, he looks absolutely livid and is beginning to turn pink, he is gritting his teeth, and his eyes are blood shot and bugging out of his skull. Steven roars in a fit of anger, pulls the worker over the counter and starts walloping the worker in the face several times. The worker is writhing on the floor in pain as Steven unplugs the Lion Licker fridge and smashes it over their head. Connie, who had witnessed the scene outside the store, starts squealing and running around everywhere as several cop cars pull up to the Big Donut.
Ronaldo pokes his head out of his car window with a megaphone as dozens of Rubies start pouring out of the cars and running towards the restaurant holding hand cuffs. "STEVEN UNIVERSE, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!". However, the police force's efforts are rendered fruitless as Steven jumps out the window of the Big Donut and starts punching all the Rubies to the sides one by one. Ronaldo gets out of his car and brandishes a taser.
"So it's come to this Steven! taken over by alien brain parasi-" Ronaldo doesn't have a chance to finish the sentence as Steven clocks him right in the face, breaking his glasses and making him fall to the ground. The other townies can only watch in horror as Steven grabs the taser and jams it right into Ronaldo's crotch causing the latter to howl in agony. All the townie's faces are contorted with pure terror as Steven finishes electrocuting the shit out of Ronaldo and starts to lurch towards the Pizza family, however before Steven can reach them his head suddenly explodes in a shower of blood and he collapses to the ground dead. The scene cuts to the Crystal Gems standing by one of the cop cars.
Amethyst and Garnet look upset, but Pearl has a neutral expression as she quickly hides a shotgun she had stored behind her back, "Well shit" Pearl shrugs, "That could have gone better", she looks towards the crowd now surrounding the scene. "Let's wrap this up, shall we?"
All the characters present in the episode suddenly burst into song and begin dancing as the rest of the cast and many more characters begin joining in. Peridot and Lapis, Jasper, Spinel, The Diamonds, The Uncorrupted Gems, William Dewey and even Uncle Grandpa and Pink Diamond herself somehow roll in to the music number.
"Here we are in the future"
"Here we are in the future and it's shit"
"We drink beer"
"We smoke a hit"
"I can't believe we've come so far"
"Happily ever after, here we aren't!"
Suddenly it cuts to black for a second, before a stage light turns on to reveal Greg who is completely naked save for several necklaces and belly dancer make-up. A cover of Cuban Pete from The Mask kicks in and Greg begins to sway his sexy dad bod as he walks down the boardwalk shaking maracas and using the clap of his ass cheecks as the bongos. The crowd goes wild as a hot and bothered Pink Diamond starts fanning her face and then faints on top of Pearl who rolls her eyes, "Here we go again."
The episode then loses the plot as the music number ends. The characters all begin aimlessly socializing with each other; The Diamonds ramble to each other about the rushed nature of their redemption arcs, Peridot states that the LED displays from the 2007 Boston Mooninite Panic were in fact actual bombs and Cartoon Network made a cover up after they were found out. Greg and a now unscathed Steven are complaining to Pink Diamond about what she did. Either not having heard them or not caring, Pink Diamond explains to her bastard son and one way ticket to a death unattainable by her species that the hiring of Clarence's creator was an inside job to stifle the teams behind the other shows and prolong the airing of Teen Titans Go.
It's at this point that all hell breaks loose and everyone starts losing their shit over the revelation. Greg smashes his own skull in with his dick and then Amethyst drinks a whole can of gasoline and farts a fire that spreads throughout beach city, Ruby and Sapphire spit roast Steven Jr alive on some flames as Lion passionately mates with Cat Steven, Pumpkin starts mauling Connie alive, Eyeball and Aquamarine engage in sexual acts with a strap-on made with the former's dagger while several characters in the background are running around yelling and murdering each other. Blue Diamond rips out a chunk of the boardwalk and swings it over Yellow Diamond's head causing her to fall straight onto several buildings and squish a bunch of townies to death, White Diamond proceeds to lift Blue Diamond by the leg and begins spinning her around before tossing her right into the Temple.
It cuts to Spinel driving Greg's van and drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels as she sings Cuban Pete from earlier. Suddenly her eyes pop out cartoonishly and she screams as it shows Jasper giggling like a little girl while she chases a Ruby with a tire iron, unknowingly running Infront of the Van. The van collides into Jasper and Ruby, causing it to crash the three gems straight into Kiki's Pizza which goes up in an explosion.
The audio is complete cacophony at this point, there is nothing but the sound of crackling fire, characters constantly screaming and yelling, several explosions and things being destroyed. There's a goat yelling and what sounds like at one-point ASMR of Peridot explaining the specifications of a Dremel 8220-1/28 - 10.8V Cordless High-Performance Rotary Tool as she uses it to torture someone to death.
The next scene shows Steven in a black void. He is looking around frantically before finding Pink Diamond standing there with her back turned to him. "Mom?" Steven says, his eyes glistening as he reaches out a hand full of love. "Mom, I'm scared". Pink Diamond turns to Steven and bends down to him, the scene cutting to her face, a patient smile embracing it as mother and son reunite.
"No Steven, you must embrace this endless void. embrace the warm state of non-existence as I have. The empire, the rebellion, Earth, all of it is meaningless. A constant endless cycle of torment and short-comings that is the plague of life. The only course of action there is left to do is cherish this opportunity with me."
It cuts to Steven and Pink Diamond dancing ecstatically overlayed footage of a beachside settlement being destroyed by a nuclear bomb, the footage cuts several times to show different buildings being uprooted and blown apart. Steven and Pink Diamond gradually fade as the footage concludes and there is nothing but a black screen and silence for the rest of the episode before it cuts to the credits.
The episode today is difficult to come across as any downloads tend to be taken down shortly after. A member of the Crewniverse was once contacted to discuss the nature of the episode and they had responded with an email that contained nothing but an image file for a title card of the episode labeled "Mother's Day" and contents reading "Fuck off man, it's my lunch break".
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