Super Mario FX Prototype
- See also: PlayStation Suffer
This is my story of a prototype that shouldn't be. One day, I was snooping around eBay looking for rare prototypes of games. While looking, I found the supposedly mythical Super Mario FX for the SNES (the SNES version of Mario 64). There was always debate whether this game did exist, so I had my doubts. But I still wanted to see what it was because of how cheap it was, which also puzzled me. Why would someone sell such a rare cart for so low? But curiosity got me and I bought it.
When it came in the mail, I did a video about it for my Youtube series, TylerTheNintendoNerd- Tyler Plays segment. The only portion left that wasn't corrupted due to a shotty camera was the beginning, here it is.
This is how the rest of the video went.
When I tried to play it, the SNES would block it out. So I fiddled around with it and finally got it to work. It started with all the legal crap as usual with protos, but then something weird happened.
The start screen was black with the basic title, start, and copyright 1991. So I hit the start button. When it started, the game went to a low poly 3D game that barely resembled Mario 64. The characters were barely recognizable and they looked very odd. Mario had no face, as did some other characters.
I thought this was because it was a very early proto, but then I noticed things out of place: the Goombas had black, souless eyes with what appeared to be blood on their heads. Mario had blood on his shoes, pants, and gloves as if he was stomping and ripping apart enemies.
The music was high-pitched 8-bit tones that somewhat resembled SMB overworld theme. When you would jump, you couldn't do it as high as usual, and if you fell more that what seemed like 15 feet in game, Mario would make a hyper-realistic crunching noise and double over in pain as if he broke his legs. At this point I couldn't move and I had to reset. When I did, it wouldn't let me.
Then this text appeared: "Mario has fallen and broke 8 bones. He died in the hospital due to internal bleeding."
I found the part about the broken bones unsurprising since this game seemed to want to take a realistic aproach, but the part about dying from internal bleeding struck with confusion. How could you die from some broken bones by bleeding internally? Thats when this text appeared...
"A later autopsy revealed that he had instead committed suicide by overdosing on hospital medication, and the internal bleeding was a cover up caused by him first beating himself half to death before ingesting the medication."
I was at a loss for words, and right before I unplugged the SNES, this appeared.
"His brother Luigi commited suicide a week later by means of hanging inside the main spire of the mushroom castle. Immediatly after the evil King Bowser overthrew the Mushroom Kingdom enslaving the inhabbitants."
At that last bit I unplugged the system in revolt. How could my beloved Miyamoto mess up my hero like this? I decided to keep the game on hand, although I refuse to play it or take photo's of it. It is now in the back of my Nintendo collection, so it will not be touched by anyone else.
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