Super mario 69
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NSFW WARNING
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One day i was playing a legal copy of new super mario bros 2 and i got a nostalga boner and decided i wanted to play super mario 64. i went upstairs to get my N64 but when i did, i realised that i sold all of my old games to that creepy old guy wit the never-ending garage sale. i went on e-bay to get a copy but there was no copy of super mario 64 there, so i had to do the worst crime in the world... piracy...
the scary game that scared me
i went onto my cumputer and went to a piracy site called haxor hanks pirated games. i found a copy of super mario 64 and downloaded it. i then started it up on my computer, i didnt see the spinning N like in the game, it was instead replaced with this picture: wait... shit i dont have the picture so please beleive me. i just thought it was a random and stupid glitch. when the game started up, where you could usualy mess around with marios face, no face was there. that creeped me out a bit. i continued playing anyway. when the game started up and... luigi jumped out of the pipe? that was weird, but everything looked normal after that. untill i got up to the moat and the water was blood red. i just thought some of the files got mixed up, and i continued playing. when i went in side, toad was not there. i was happy about that because nobody likes that bastard. ANyway when i went in the room with bomb-om battlefeild, the painting looked like it had white stains all over it, like CUM! luigi looked like he didnt want to go in the paintign but fuck him. so i jumped in the painting and the title for the world said: "your dead to me." that REALLY freaked me out. so i clicked the first star and it sad: gory death, and i was like eww groos what is this, 4chan? anyway when i got into the level there were blood and cum stains everywhere and i got so scared that i kicked myself in the face and got nocked out.
why you should never pirate games
i hade a spooky dream where mario said: YoU ArE GOing T0 PAy F0r pIRAting ThIs GaME! and then i woke up and decided i needed to keep playig the game because i was really Curious. and a dumbass. anyway when i started the game back up i saw a horrifying sight: mario had slashed luigi with a sword and let his bloud drip everywhere. he then ate him. he then went up to princess toedstool and killd her and then he said somthing: your next... i flipped shit and then ran for my door and i thought "hey, its just a game" and i was right, it was just a game. i will never ever pirate a game again.
EDIT: the police found tom lying on the ground dead, sliced in half. the killer wrote in his blood: DONT PIRATE GAMES OR YOU WILL DIE. they also found the letter m written in blood all over the house. dont pirate ames, or you will die.
Written by Highly Explosive Infernape
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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