Tall Men: The Bath Towel of Doom

The year was 2017. I was browsing through the internet. I love online shopping, so browsing through online stores was pretty common for me. I was just about to log off for the night, when something caught my eye. A Tall Men (2016) bath towel. I was delighted. Tall Men was my favorite movie of all time. I remember watching Tall Men on Netflix one time. I thought it would be so bad it was good, but in actuality, it was the most profound movie I’ve ever seen. I had watched the movie religiously with my wife of 37 years and my children, along with my friend Andrew. No matter how many times we watched it, we always cried at the end. I thought I had all of the Tall Men merch, but apparently, I was wrong. I bought it as quickly as I could. I waited for days for it to arrive, and finally, it showed up. My friend Andrew told me that I shouldn’t have bought it, because you never know what you’ll find on the internet. I didn’t listen though. I opened the package as quickly as I could. The bath towel was even prettier than I could have imagined. I quickly got into the shower, and rubbed the bath towel all over myself. I could feel the Tall Men cleansing me. After I was done, I got out of the shower, and dried myself off with my Tall Men Towel. I then got into my Tall Men bed sheets, and went to bed. I woke up, and decided that I needed another cleanse. There was a problem though. One of the Tall Men was missing from the bath towel. I was confused, but shrugged it off. Maybe I rubbed too hard with it. So I took my shower, feeling more cleansed than ever. I decided to look at it after I was done, and my heart sank. There was only one Tall Man on the towel now. All I could do was say to myself, “Strange things are coming”. I quickly ran to the door. I didn’t care that I didn’t have any clothes on. Before I got there though, a Tall Man went in front of the door, and said his classic catchphrase “you’re in it now, tough guy”. I screamed, and ran the other way, only to see the leader, Kenneth, standing in front of me. He said “where do you think you’re going, honey?”. As scared as I was, Kenneth’s humor never fails to make me laugh. Unfortunately, I laughed so hard that I died. The End.