The Cockagonal Hyena

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

File:Cockagonal hyena.png
Artist's rendition, and yes, it's not exactly what he looks like

The Cockagonal Hyena is a hyena shaped like a penis. It has spots all over its body. It is able to eat whatever comes (HAHAHA comes) near it with its sole black eye and its teeth are able to rip through even titanium. He can walk through walls, fly, and reflect light off his body, making him invisible. He's also got the properties of fire, was made in a lab, and has great, great fur. He can't be killed and has once ripped off the arm of EVIL PATRIXXX. EVIL PATRIXXX was fully aware of the Cockagonal Hyena at the time and survived the attack with no sign of ever being attacked (obviously; EVIL PATRIXXX can NEVER die), but this shows how amazingly strong and manly the Cockagonal Hyena is. Some of his fangirls- nevermind, you don't want to know. Okay, you do, but it's not pretty. You're sure? No, I don't want to label this NSFW. ARE you SURE? Ugh, fine, I will. JUST FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. Yes, even the women. You're motherfuckers. All of you that required me to say this, forcing me to label this NSFW, are motherfuckers. Damn your curiosity, people! Anyway, their bodies end up with enormously stretched-out mouths, anuses, or vaginas. Sometimes a combination of them. ARE YOU HAPPY?!?!111/!?/1!?1?!?!?!!?!1/1/1!?!?1!/!?1!?11?11/1?!/!1/!?!/1?!?!?!/!!? He will watch you in your sleep if you disturb him. He tried to kill some people today, but he didn't feel up to it, so he just ate their souls. By the way, here's a complete list of his powers, including the ones from before.

  • Can turn invisible due to light reflection.
  • Has the properties of fire.
  • Was made in a lab
  • able to eat things with its eye
  • Teeth able to rip through even titanium
  • Walk through walls
  • able to fly
  • shaped like a dick
  • Able to shoot jamba juice out of his nose
  • Heat ray vision out of his front paws
  • spots can turn into invincible shadow spider golems
  • able to eat souls with his tail
  • His eye is black
  • Was made in a lab
  • fucks up some of his fangirls (he can fuck up his fanboys, but those cases are MUCH more disturbing and would get this taken off the internet)
  • has amazing fur


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