The Colors...
It's been awhile since I saw it. A seizure causing flashing light to most, but a rainbow to me. It was mystifying. I thought it was anyways. I now see that I was blinded by youthful hope and happiness...
It all started out two years ago. I was a huge anime fan and I had seen the banned episode of Pokèmon with the Porygon that caused seizures to hundreds of children. I also had an unreasonable attraction to short stories on the internet, Creepypastas, I believe they were called. They gave me nightmares, but I loved them. I couldn't stop reading them. It must've been my youthful mind telling me to scare myself into not sleeping, I guess. Anyways, it was my Freshman year of high school, and being that I barely knew anyone, I started hanging out with one of my old friends that ended up in a few of my classes. Over the years, he became a "raver" and a so-called "emo." That's a label that always confused me. Emo. There was Emo, Goth, Suicidal, and they all ended up being related to each other. They shouldn't have been. Hell, I've been a suicidal mess for more than eight years now, yet I wasn't "Emo" or "Goth." I was just distant.
Back to the story, though. My friend had several strobe light apps on his iPhone, and he showed me one that he claimed would get me high. I'm a goody-two-shoes about drug use and getting high, so I refused. He didn't give up though. Every chance he got, he would shine the strobe lights toward my eyes, until one day I caved, after he scratched me down my face (I'm a wrestler, so I have a feeling he knew that that was all he would successfully manage to land on me). Red. Blue. Green. Yellow. White. They flashed so fast, and I swear to God, they made shapes. Faces even. Of course, I only saw them when I closed my eyes. Mainly, I saw two glowing red eyes that seemed to stare into my soul.
I saw it in the corner of my eye during everything I did. It ruined my only part of the day that brought me any happiness; my sleeping. It made me fear closing my eyes. I feared blinking, swimming, video games, even computers, for they just caused me to blink more. It was in my head. It changed my thoughts, it worsened my depression, it made me bleed. Nobody believed me, though. I would give them vivid descriptions of everything that happened, and they would brush it off as some "depressed emo fag blowing smoke up their ass" (Someone's exact words...). By this point, I had seen its full body, aside from its red, blood colored, and covered face. I was dying to see its face. I was dying...
I couldn't cope with it. Knowing it was watching me at all times of the day, but not being able to do anything about it. What was worse though? The lack of control, or the constant fear that I could die at anytime, depending on this creature's will. What could it have possibly wanted from me? Why didn't my friend get afflicted with this curse? He saw the strobe lights just as much as me. No. He saw them more than me. Maybe it fed on resistance. Maybe it could smell corruption on my friend, but could smell nothing but a clean spirit from me. I didn't care. I couldn't stand closing my eyes and seeing it.
A year later, my sophomore year, I decided to cut off my eyelids. I had cut off my bottom eyelid on each eye, and I looked in the mirror to see my work. I was mystified at the sight I had seen. The blood covering my face in the perfectly specific areas. I then knew what I had seen in my visions. The future. My future. I don't know what happened. How... Why... My life began to flash. Followed by red, then blue, then green, yellow. Finally, white. Everything was white. Until I woke up in the hospital later. Apparently they replaced my lower lids with some synthetic skin or something.
I still see it sometimes. Its eyes are no longer red, its face no longer looks blood red and sinister, it just appears to be a constant reminder. A reminder that life shouldn't be taken for granted. I see that no matter how hard life is treating me, I have to keep pushing through. On most days anyways. On some days, I can see its blood-red eyes piercing my soul. I once again remember that day looking at my nearly dead self in the mirror, looking at that thing in the mirror. Looking... Red... Blue... Green... Yellow... And then everything goes white...
Credited to DownbeatAura
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