The Flesh Pint of Blare

I don't know how i am supposed to tell you this... the year was 1999. I was planning an amusement park visit with my friends, i packed plenty of sunscreen i didn't expect anything to transpire. until.... well... i saw the glorious lights of my favorite video store... blockbuster... so i said to myself. Forget it. i hate my friends anyway. i want into the store, expecting the world. and what i got, was even better, an entire room, filled with the fresh prince of bell air all over the place! i couldn't stop myself from buying everything. the guy at the counter, had a name tag that said "Hello! my name is: w.w.erik." hmm i said out loud.

anyway i went home in my ford 1978 ranger pickup and drove home. i looked though the stash that i brought home and i saw one title that stood out... "The Flesh Pint of Blare". "what?" i said out loud. maybe it was some kind of mess up in the writing. but the weird part, was that the guy on the cover, Jim carry had a frown on his face, and if you looked very closely you could kinda see tears on his face. but i shrugged it off because maybe he was like pepper sprayed or something. i popped the VHS into my computer and i watched it i was so exited, i could hear my phone ringing but it was my stupid friends, screw them.

it opened up with the normal opening. so this is a story all about how my life got flipped right upside down so i wanna tell you a story so sit right their about how i went to a house in blare... wait... blare? i was terrified! i tried taking the disc out of the hole but i couldn't. i tried to unplug the tv but i couldn't. oh well. i continued to watch. it opened up with pictures of human meat, arms legs and eyes... i almost puked. then it shows the prince with a shotgun "i need to go kill old Betsy" he said, then he went outside and killed the butler which was naked wearing a saddle

then it showed the prince drinking and then he took the shotgun and put it to his head. then he said "That was my last pint. my last flesh pint of blare, i am blare, signing off. then he blew his head off making brain and skull parts fly.

i have never been the same since

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