The Grinch Movie: Original Reel: Difference between revisions

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This is where it gets really freaky. Instead of cutting away or a comedic trampling with cartoony boink noises, Saget awoke, and screamed violently until all that could be heard was a breathy rasp emitting from his mouth. His head was violently trampled for a good 30 seconds until his head was a viscous, spasming pile of hyper-realistic blood and brain matter. I cringed at the intensity of the hyper-realism. Ron Howard was grinning from ear to ear, that sick fuck. I questioned the response children would have to this, and to that he just honked my nipples and told me to shut the fuck up. I grabbed my man tits in pain as we continued the screening. Cindy Lou Who was laughing cheerfully at the corpse of her father, believing this to be the true spirit of Christmas, her favorite holiday.
This is where it gets really freaky. Instead of cutting away or a comedic trampling with cartoony boink noises, Saget awoke, and screamed violently until all that could be heard was a breathy rasp emitting from his mouth. His head was violently trampled for a good 30 seconds until his head was a viscous, spasming pile of hyper-realistic blood and brain matter. I cringed at the intensity of the hyper-realism. Ron Howard was grinning from ear to ear, that sick fuck. I questioned the response children would have to this, and to that he just honked my nipples and told me to shut the fuck up. I grabbed my man tits in pain as we continued the screening. Cindy Lou Who was laughing cheerfully at the corpse of her father, believing this to be the true spirit of Christmas, her favorite holiday.


The camera cuts to the cave Grinch lives in, which is a lot smaller and more decrepit and messier than in the final film. Max the dog was nowhere to be found, but instead there was a cow that the Grinch talked to. The Grinch is pouring himself what seemed to be a cup of coffee, but upon inspecting the coffee pot he set down, I know you're not going to believe me, but it was actually Who blood. He slurped the blood violently and smacked his lips realistically. "This Who wasn't a very nice guy," Grinch spoke to himself. "It's not… sweet enough." He goes into a back room where he has a Who tied up and gagged, looking terrifyingly like Jim Carrey in Who makeup. The Grinch grabs the Who by the face and spoke in a low tone. "Listen here, you little bitch," What was with the fucking swearing? "You pissed me off a minute ago with that look you gave me. A rather... disheveled look. Like you wanted to kill me. Wrong-o."
The camera cuts to the cave Grinch lives in, which is a lot smaller and more decrepit and messier than in the final film. Max the dog was nowhere to be found, but instead there was a cow that the Grinch talked to. The Grinch is pouring himself what seemed to be a cup of coffee, but upon inspecting the coffee pot he set down, I know you're not going to believe me, but it was actually Who blood. He slurped the blood violently and smacked his lips realistically. "This Who wasn't a very nice guy," Grinch spoke to himself. "It's not... sweet enough." He goes into a back room where he has a Who tied up and gagged, looking terrifyingly like Jim Carrey in Who makeup. The Grinch grabs the Who by the face and spoke in a low tone. "Listen here, you little bitch," What was with the fucking swearing? "You pissed me off a minute ago with that look you gave me. A rather... disheveled look. Like you wanted to kill me. Wrong-o."


Grinch walked out of frame and came back with a TV/VCR combo on caster wheels. He held up a VHS tape that said "Cars" on it, and stuck it in the VCR. I thought to myself about how the Grinch couldn't possibly torture someone with a video about cars of all things, and even gave a small chuckle. Oh, I was fed a huge piece of humble pie after thinking that, and it wasn't delicious either. What followed was a terrifying CGI cartoon about a racecar and Satan himself competing in a rap battle. While this played, the Grinch broke the Who's arm, exposing the bone in the elbow while hyper-realistic blood sprinkled out of the open wound. The Grinch pulled out the humerus bone and fed it into a grinder. Ultra realistic ground-up bone matter came out the other end and into his coffee.
Grinch walked out of frame and came back with a TV/VCR combo on caster wheels. He held up a VHS tape that said "Cars" on it, and stuck it in the VCR. I thought to myself about how the Grinch couldn't possibly torture someone with a video about cars of all things, and even gave a small chuckle. Oh, I was fed a huge piece of humble pie after thinking that, and it wasn't delicious either. What followed was a terrifying CGI cartoon about a racecar and Satan himself competing in a rap battle. While this played, the Grinch broke the Who's arm, exposing the bone in the elbow while hyper-realistic blood sprinkled out of the open wound. The Grinch pulled out the humerus bone and fed it into a grinder. Ultra realistic ground-up bone matter came out the other end and into his coffee.
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This was all too much and I wanted to get out of that screening room, but I was scared of what Mr. Howard would do if I tried. The Grinch stirred up his Who blood and bone coffee and gave it another sip. "Just right!" He walked past the injured Who, which was shrieking in pain from his fucking bone being ripped out. The Grinch smiled a cheeky smile, gave him the middle finger, grabbed at his ballsack and jingled it a little bit before exiting the room, smiling away. He left his cave and entered Whoville, smiling some more. He entered the carnage ensuing at the department store, He smiled and he smiled, as he walked around the various aisles, even trying on clothes that matched his style. He surveyed the chaos, the dreadful brawl, then looked at the camera and said "Lol!" He saw all there was to see but wanted more, so he strolled on over to the grocery store. He scanned the fridge aisle, hungry for Eggo waffles, seeing more people fighting and he shouted "Rofl!" He decided afterall he was hungry for a Snicker, as the drunk Whos fought over the last bottle of liquor. He swiped the candy without paying, an awful crime, and I just realized the past few sentences I've been speaking in rhyme. Dammit.
This was all too much and I wanted to get out of that screening room, but I was scared of what Mr. Howard would do if I tried. The Grinch stirred up his Who blood and bone coffee and gave it another sip. "Just right!" He walked past the injured Who, which was shrieking in pain from his fucking bone being ripped out. The Grinch smiled a cheeky smile, gave him the middle finger, grabbed at his ballsack and jingled it a little bit before exiting the room, smiling away. He left his cave and entered Whoville, smiling some more. He entered the carnage ensuing at the department store, He smiled and he smiled, as he walked around the various aisles, even trying on clothes that matched his style. He surveyed the chaos, the dreadful brawl, then looked at the camera and said "Lol!" He saw all there was to see but wanted more, so he strolled on over to the grocery store. He scanned the fridge aisle, hungry for Eggo waffles, seeing more people fighting and he shouted "Rofl!" He decided afterall he was hungry for a Snicker, as the drunk Whos fought over the last bottle of liquor. He swiped the candy without paying, an awful crime, and I just realized the past few sentences I've been speaking in rhyme. Dammit.


The Grinch left the grocery store with his candy, cackling to himself for shoplifting. All of a sudden, he spotted Cindy Lou Who smiling at the massive fight back at the department store. He approached the girl, giving her a large serrated knife. "You know what to do," Grinch said in an evil tone to Cindy Lou. She nodded with a macabre smile, and started stabbing Whos in the gut, slashing them open, sending tons and tons more realistic blood and insides flying in all directions while the song "Welcome Christmas" from the 1966 cartoon special played, but in a warping, wavering speed. This went on for 5 minutes before the camera panned out in a crane shot as Cindy Lou kills the last couple of Whos and the music slows to a total halt. She stood amongst the heaping pile of bodies and innards in complete silence before the Snickers bar hopped out of the Grinch's hand and became a poorly-made CGI Snickers bar and started flying through the sky. This was way too much for me. I didn't want to see a flying Snickers bar. My skin was crawling as the wrapper flapped in the wind like a cape, this was disturbing. The candy bar smiled and winked at the camera with its faceless, chocolate coated surface. What nightmares are made of…
The Grinch left the grocery store with his candy, cackling to himself for shoplifting. All of a sudden, he spotted Cindy Lou Who smiling at the massive fight back at the department store. He approached the girl, giving her a large serrated knife. "You know what to do," Grinch said in an evil tone to Cindy Lou. She nodded with a macabre smile, and started stabbing Whos in the gut, slashing them open, sending tons and tons more realistic blood and insides flying in all directions while the song "Welcome Christmas" from the 1966 cartoon special played, but in a warping, wavering speed. This went on for 5 minutes before the camera panned out in a crane shot as Cindy Lou kills the last couple of Whos and the music slows to a total halt. She stood amongst the heaping pile of bodies and innards in complete silence before the Snickers bar hopped out of the Grinch's hand and became a poorly-made CGI Snickers bar and started flying through the sky. This was way too much for me. I didn't want to see a flying Snickers bar. My skin was crawling as the wrapper flapped in the wind like a cape, this was disturbing. The candy bar smiled and winked at the camera with its faceless, chocolate coated surface. What nightmares are made of...


The Snickers bar flew through the sky for a good 3 minutes, all the while I'm leaned back in my chair, clenching the arms tightly in fear at this chocolate and nougat monstrosity. Ron Howard was officially an asshole and a sick man in my eyes, having made this horrific sight and traumatizing me in the process. I told him how sick he was. He laughed and sank his teeth into a Snickers. I turned my attention back to the screen. The candy bar had no face, but I knew it was Jim Carrey under that confectionary mask. I knew it. All of a sudden, as if things couldn't get worse, The cow from the Grinch's home trotted up, and its brains fell out. The brains hopped around like the Pixar ball. In fact, this was a joint production with Pixar. The brains and the candy bar followed the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who, who smiled at the camera and spoke, "I'M JIM CARREY," as they strolled down the bloody, snowy Whoville streets.
The Snickers bar flew through the sky for a good 3 minutes, all the while I'm leaned back in my chair, clenching the arms tightly in fear at this chocolate and nougat monstrosity. Ron Howard was officially an asshole and a sick man in my eyes, having made this horrific sight and traumatizing me in the process. I told him how sick he was. He laughed and sank his teeth into a Snickers. I turned my attention back to the screen. The candy bar had no face, but I knew it was Jim Carrey under that confectionary mask. I knew it. All of a sudden, as if things couldn't get worse, The cow from the Grinch's home trotted up, and its brains fell out. The brains hopped around like the Pixar ball. In fact, this was a joint production with Pixar. The brains and the candy bar followed the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who, who smiled at the camera and spoke, "I'M JIM CARREY," as they strolled down the bloody, snowy Whoville streets.
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