The Holder of Jimmies

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My jimmies remain... Unrustled.

In any city, in any country, go to any malt shop or drugstore you can get yourself to. When you reach the counter, ask Doc to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Jimmies". Should a look of child-like fear come over Doc's face, you will then be taken to the building's storage room. All you will hear is the sound of someone talking echo the storeroom. It is in a language that you will not understand, but your very soul will feel unspeakable fear.

Should the talking stop at any time, STOP and QUICKLY say aloud "Gee, buddy, I just wish to talk, relax." If you still hear silence, flee. Leave, do not stop for anything, do not go home, don't stay at a motel, just keep moving, sleep where your body drops. You will know in the morning if you've escaped successfully.

If the voice in the storeroom comes back after you utter those words continue on. Upon reaching the back all you will see is a door. Pass through the door, and you will find yourself in a real swell diner with a greaser in the corner, speaking an unknown language. The greaser will only respond to one question. "What happens when they are rustled?"

The greaser will then enumerate, in excruciating detail, every horrific event in history: every stolen egg cream, every school dance where a nerdy kid had no date, every single rustled jimmy. No travesty in the history of the universe will escape your ears. When he finishes, silence will fall – you must immediately cradle him in your arms and whisper in his ear; "shh, no tears, only dreams now." If you do not, the horrors that will befall you are such that not even Hell itself could imagine them.

Your jimmies are object 198 of 538. See that they remain unrustled.

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