The Jimmy Nutrin Ritual: Difference between revisions
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== The ritual == |
== The ritual == |
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At precisely 4:20 AM, shoot the cutout and say: "Jimmy, your mom is dead. |
At precisely 4:20 AM, shoot the cutout and say: "Jimmy, your mom is dead." |
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Without dialing any number, pick up the phone and ask: "Hello can I get a large |
Without dialing any number, pick up the phone and ask: "Hello can I get a large |
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pizza pie for the Nutrin household? |
pizza pie for the Nutrin household?" It may seem as though nobody was on the |
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other line, but trust me – someone heard you. Proceed to blow out the candle |
other line, but trust me – someone heard you. Proceed to blow out the candle |
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and turn on the T.V. Sit down and watch the T.V. until you hear a knock at the |
and turn on the T.V. Sit down and watch the T.V. until you hear a knock at the |
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door. Open the door. A pizza will slowly pass through the doorway and the words |
door. Open the door. A pizza will slowly pass through the doorway and the words |
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"Heers ya’arr |
"Heers ya’arr pisseh" will be heard. Be prepared to dodge. The pizza is |
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aggressive. The pie will then launch itself into the room and attempt to |
aggressive. The pie will then launch itself into the room and attempt to |
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decapitate whomever it can, bouncing of the walls until it loses momentum and |
decapitate whomever it can, bouncing of the walls until it loses momentum and |
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falls to the floor. You have the option to surround yourself with a ring of garlic |
falls to the floor. You have the option to surround yourself with a ring of garlic |
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powder, which will do absolutely nothing for you. It is strongly recommended |
powder, which will do absolutely nothing for you. It is strongly recommended |
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that you or any companions yell "Oh shit! |
that you or any companions yell "Oh shit!" right before moving to dodge the |
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pizza, because should you fail, this will reverse any damage caused once the |
pizza, because should you fail, this will reverse any damage caused once the |
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ritual is completed. This pizza will be your method of summoning the spirit. |
ritual is completed. This pizza will be your method of summoning the spirit. |
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Without moving it, place your hands on the crust and utter the phrase: "Bond |
Without moving it, place your hands on the crust and utter the phrase: "Bond |
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with me, Jimmy. |
with me, Jimmy." The spirit of Jimmy Nutrin will rise from the cheese and |
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watch T.V. with you. From here, you can ask the boy genius any science-related |
watch T.V. with you. From here, you can ask the boy genius any science-related |
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question and he will give you the correct answer. To close the ritual, say |
question and he will give you the correct answer. To close the ritual, say |
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"Just another day in the life of Jimmy |
"Just another day in the life of Jimmy Nutrin" and Jimmy will promptly return |
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to the Retrorealm. Enjoy your newfound knowledge. If you plan on building a |
to the Retrorealm. Enjoy your newfound knowledge. If you plan on building a |
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shrink ray, you’d better use it on your own fat ass after eating all that pizza |
shrink ray, you’d better use it on your own fat ass after eating all that pizza |