The John Tvs Stupid Show: Lost Episode
The Sturgeon General's Warning
WARNING: This story is so bad and so poorly-written that you may crap yourself from laughing. You. have. been. WARNED.
Prologue
If you've somehow landed here without checking out my previous adventures, then let me set the tone for this crap. I am a generic unnamed creepypasta-type protagonist character, and I used to have a "good" friend named Billy, who always sent me devious edits of kids' cartoons in which characters kill one another for no good reason, or, in rare cases, modified video games with characters that lived outside of the game itself.
When I caught him when he told me the truth about what he did, we both got arrested, and we are in the same prison cell together as I am writing this. One day, using one of the prison DVD players that they'd usually use to play the BibleProject DVDs, Billy asked me if he wanted me to see an episode of an actual cartoon that didn't have its first episode made. I said "Yes", and me and him watched the pilot episode of a rejected television sketch-comedy series called, "The John Tvs Stupid Show", made by a guy who called himself "John Tvs".
The Episode Itself
The episode started off with a title card with a logo that said "JT" on it that grew larger when a bouncy-type sound effect played. After a while, it cut to the actual title card of the show, that said, "The Stupid Show" on it, and it shown many iconic and recognizable characters, including:
- BonziBUDDY (BonziBUDDY)
- Stimpson "Stimpy" J. Cat (The Ren & Stimpy Show)
- Bomb the Mechanic (Knuckles' Chaotix)
- Retro The Blobthing (Retro & The Massive Blob Family)
- Trader The Blobthing (Retro & The Massive Blob Family)
- Boris Anderson (GoAnimate)
- Qozak the Hybrid (Qozak's Quest)
- Dizzy (Bob The Builder)
- Rabbid Yoshi (Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle)
- Fat Albert (Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids)
However, in the middle were three otherwise unnamed characters, who appeared as three multi-colored stick figures whose protryals are based on lampoonings of American culture. The screen then faded to another title card saying, "The Gang Goes To Hoboken", which was directed by John Tvs. The episode started off with Skinny, Short, and Fat introducing themselves, and then; they all talked about how dumb the actual episode was going to be. Then, the screen faded, and it shown all of the characters on the title card walking throughout Hoboken, which is a city in New Jersey.
Fat Albert said to the gang, "Gee gang, I don't think we're in New York anymore." The camera then zoomed out and shown what looked to be many people skipping around and holding hands.
BonziBUDDY then said, "Well, according to my book, Hoboken is one of the most safest places in the world, so we should be in the green".
The episode then cut to Boris, with his shoes off, as he is protrayed in the show, going to a bar with Dizzy and Rabbid Yoshi. There, they have asked for lots of bourbon, which they all have promptly drank. Dizzy was (quite literally) dizzy, while Rabbid Yoshi kept hiccuping over and over again. Boris got naked in front of the entire bar, leading him to dance on the bartender's counter. Eventually, due to that, he got kicked out, and his clothes were tossed back to him.
Qozak then looked at him and said, "Gee whiz, man! You look drunk! You should ride on my back and come fly with me to a fountain of healing."
And Boris responded with, "No, you big fat stupid animal hybrid-thing! You're 'grounded'!".
Qozak then said, "Suit yourself.", and he flew away into a portal, which led to another dimension, away from all of the other characters. Meanwhile, Boris then tried talking to Stimpy, but when he did so, Stimpson screamed and ran to tell BonziBUDDY about it.
Stimpson said to BonziBUDDY, "Help! Boris is running around naked"!
And BonziBUDDY replied, "He is?! Gimme, gimme, gimme!". He then ran around in circles before dashing towards Boris, before Boris went out of the way, causing BonziBUDDY to run into Bomb The Mechanic, who was reading "How To Win Friends and Influence People", before Bomb exploded, dropping his book, and causing BonziBUDDY to get thrown into another land, as he screamed hyper-realistic monkey screams. Stimpy then looked scared while Retro and Trader, now morbidly obese, went out of a Mexican resturant that served spicy cheese quesadillas.
Retro said to Trader, "Those quesadillas were great, weren't they?".
And Trader replied by saying, "Yeah, Retro. Those were delicious!". All of the sudden, the two exploded and their faces were left on the screen, sliding away into nothingness.
Stimpy, getting so scared that he couldn't control himself, screamed, and yelled, "I'm gonna friggin' kill you all!". He got out an oversized mallet and ran around everywhere, whacking Fat Albert like a baseball back to Philadelphia, his hometown, and then getting out a bottle of gasoline, pouring it all over Dizzy, and then lighting her on fire. She then levitated for a while before growing null, and she quickly broke down. The camera then cut to her dead body, showing a hyper-realistic view of everything, now being a dull color that resembled the pavement that all of the characters were sitting on.
Then, soon after, Boris went and ran to Stimpy, yelling, "You Eediot! You murdered one of my best friends!", before he whacked Stimpy so much, that blood started to show all over him. Boris then set him down and told him, "You're grounded for eternity! Get back to your room now!", before he whacked Stimpy like a baseball to Mexico, where it shown a cricket smoking a cigar near a graveyard, threatening to beat up Stimpy.
After all of that was done, Rabbid Yoshi found Boris, getting ready to kill him, before Boris soon kissed him, taking off his Rabbid Yoshi costume. The two then kissed so much, that the cartoon had to get ended early.
When Skinny, Short, and Fat came back up on the screen, they all cried while Fat exclaimed, "Wow. That cartoon was the dictonary definition of 'stupid'".
Skinny, now finished sobbing, responded with a simple, "Yeah.", before Short said to the audience, "Kids, it's best that some things are better left undone.", before the cartoon faded out, showing a "That's It, Folks!" title card with all of the characters in pain smiling and laughing, with Boris showing off his abdomen.
Epologue
Billy and I found the cartoon to be very creepy, and it was so creepy, that we both died. Bye!
Written by MeatEater35
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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