The Lost "666 Things to Do to Ensure You Go To Hell" List.

NSFW WARNING

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

I used to work for a company that made an app that makes lists digitally. That was, until June 6th, 2006, at 6:06:06 AM. That exact date is when the company officially lost the dollar that prevented it from being bankrupt. I was deeply saddened as it was a decent job with decent pay, which was a whole $666 per 6 da Enough about my salary, though.

I heard from one review of the app that a user had killed themselves right after using the app for 6 months, 6 days, and 6 hours. Data on the user's phone revealed a list, called 666 Things to Do to Ensure You Go To Hell, which listed 666 things that would land you a swift and permanent. The user's phone was lost after this user burned the device used to write the list.

It wasn't until now I hacked into the company's database, which is somehow still able to be accessed even though it's defunct and the site should be down, but somehow isn't. It is also said if you read the whole list, you will be haunted by an evil spirit for the rest of your life. Here is the list, next header. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

The List.

Work for Meth666 Inc.
Eat cat shit
Eat dog shit
Eat any type of shit
Write the number 666
Worship Satan
Write the word Satan on paper
Write the word Satan on anything else.
Repeat an item but with different wording on a list.
Think the number 666 is lucky
Be a cannibalistic asshole.
Be named Dave
Be named Ethan
Be named Mia Laurence XI
Have roman numerals in your name
Visit Facebook often
Use social media
Create lists
Be hypocritical to try to be funny
Tell jokes
Be non-serious at any moment in time
Yeah, even when your friend releases a 50-gallon rotten-egga'.
Have a dog named Chad
Have a dog named Charley
Not naming your dog anything other than Chas will have you hanged by the nipples.
Eat a taco while standing on NO FEETS
Like pineapple on pizza
Support those who like pineapple on pizza
Be born in the year 1990 - 2002.
Put tomatoes in your neighbor's eyes while they are asleep. Looking (or not, now that you've blinded me) at you, Dave!!!!!!!!!!!
Be from the state of Ohio
Be from the state of Michigan
Be born in Finland
Fit any stereotypes that exist or will exist
Be normal
Listen to Daft Punk
Blast the song "HAPPYJOYHAPPYHAPPYJOYHAPPYJOYHAPPY" at 3:33AM in the damn morning
Be awake during 3:33AM or any time between 3:00AM - 3:59:59AM
Be late for work even though it's literally one fucking step from your damn home
Commit suicide
Support suicide victims
NOT support attempted suicide victims
Listen to anything by Drake
Listen to any music tied to religion
Listen to songs about ponies
Worship any higher figure
Say that Patrick from the hit animated show SpongeBob SquareDance should go to Hell
Say that SpongeBob should NOT go to HELL
7734
Look for greatness where you know it isn't possible
Laugh too much
Live at the coordinates N 37 46 57.642", W 122 23 54.123".
Eat insects
Own the game GTA Vice City in any way, shape, or form.
Play GTA San Andreas in a way that constitutes as having arsonistic intentions for the surrounding players or onlookers of your gameplay.
IGNORE THE CONSTISTUION1!1
GO AGAINST THE MOTHAFUGGIN USA
Be un-patriotic
Do not support the army of your nation
Do not go against political figures that clearly deserve it
Drive a 1969 Chevy model
Be a ricer
Modify your car to the point of ugliness (see #62)
Destroy the N64
Destory the SNES
Destroy the NES
Destroy the Gameboy Color & other variants
be part of the furry fandom
Send NSFW content to anyone named Sally
Google pictures of the Earth's roundness because you're retarded enough to believe Earth isn't round
Be part of the Flat Earth Society
Encourage belief in the Flat Earth Theory
Defend the Flat Earth Theory
Make any video about the Flat Earth Theory that does not involve debunking it.
Post pastas on the wrong site
Be an internet troll
Be of the Orc species
Leave crums exactly a pixel in length, width, height, and mass.
Violate the CC-BY-SA license
Violate the Creative Commons Sharealike License
Violate any CC license.
Watch pronz in restraunt bathrooms.
Moan so loud it wakes up the neighborhood
Be part of the EVILNUSS PREVENTASS SQAD that kills innocents for no reason other than blood, gore, and tongue cutting.
Travel on Route 69 in 1969.
Time travel!
Bend reality
Gain telekanis
Read the Communist Manifesto
Read Harmonic Illusions in Science by Hemson L. Johnathan
Use a pen-name.
Hide your identity
Lie
Gamble
Drink alcoholic beverages
Go to casinos
Pay the rent for someone else
Borrow a used condom
Be a trap
Be attracted to traps
Be attracted to children
Have a small peepee hole
Not fear F R E D D I E F R E A K E R.
Have Yellow Color Blindness
Have Blue Color Blindness
Be colorblind in general
Not tip the waiter at least 50% of the meal. You say you don't know how to get 50% of the bill? YOURAMOUNT - 50%. Simple. Calculatours exist, smh.
Play "Wake Me Up When September Ends" at exactly 5:01PM, Saturday, August 30th, LEAP YEAR.
Eat the number 7
Orgasm with a Wii Remote
Use the Wii Remote vibrations for the above activity.
Endorse EA
Endorse SEGA
Retired from Nickelodeon in or before the year 2000.
Deal pot
Deal meth
Deal crystal methane
Deal any drugs that aren't legal
Repeat yourself three times
Repeat yourself three times
Repeat yourself three times
Repeat yourself four times
repeat yourself four times
repeat yourself four times
repeat yourself four times
Write depressing shit
my dog died yesterday guys, please enjoy my list...
Repeat 128 items on a list
Work for Meth666 Inc.
Eat cat shit
Eat dog shit
Eat any type of shit
Write the number 666
Worship Satan
Write the word Satan on paper
Write the word Satan on anything else.
Repeat an item but with different wording on a list.
Think the number 666 is lucky
Be a cannibalistic asshole.
Be named Dave
Be named Ethan
Be named Mia Laurence XI
Have roman numerals in your name
Visit Facebook often
Use social media
Create lists
Be hypocritical to try to be funny
Tell jokes
Be non-serious at any moment in time
Yeah, even when your friend releases a 50-gallon rotten-egga'.
Have a dog named Chad
Have a dog named Charley
Not naming your dog anything other than Chas will have you hanged by the nipples.
Eat a taco while standing on NO FEETS
Like pineapple on pizza
Support those who like pineapple on pizza
Be born in the year 1990 - 2002.
Put tomatoes in your neighbor's eyes while they are asleep. Looking (or not, now that you've blinded me) at you, Dave!!!!!!!!!!!
Be from the state of Ohio
Be from the state of Michigan
Be born in Finland
Fit any stereotypes that exist or will exist
Be normal
Listen to Daft Punk
Blast the song "HAPPYJOYHAPPYHAPPYJOYHAPPYJOYHAPPY" at 3:33AM in the damn morning
Be awake during 3:33AM or any time between 3:00AM - 3:59:59AM
Be late for work even though it's literally one fucking step from your damn home
Commit suicide
Support suicide victims
NOT support attempted suicide victims
Listen to anything by Drake
Listen to any music tied to religion
Listen to songs about ponies
Worship any higher figure
Say that Patrick from the hit animated show SpongeBob SquareDance should go to Hell
Say that SpongeBob should NOT go to HELL
7734
Look for greatness where you know it isn't possible
Laugh too much
Live at the coordinates N 37 46 57.642", W 122 23 54.123".
Eat insects
Own the game GTA Vice City in any way, shape, or form.
Play GTA San Andreas in a way that constitutes as having arsonistic intentions for the surrounding players or onlookers of your gameplay.
IGNORE THE CONSTISTUION1!1
GO AGAINST THE MOTHAFUGGIN USA
Be un-patriotic
Do not support the army of your nation
Do not go against political figures that clearly deserve it
Drive a 1969 Chevy model
Be a ricer
Modify your car to the point of ugliness (see #62)
Destroy the N64
Destory the SNES
Destroy the NES
Destroy the Gameboy Color & other variants
be part of the furry fandom
Send NSFW content to anyone named Sally
Google pictures of the Earth's roundness because you're retarded enough to believe Earth isn't round
Be part of the Flat Earth Society
Encourage belief in the Flat Earth Theory
Defend the Flat Earth Theory
Make any video about the Flat Earth Theory that does not involve debunking it.
Post pastas on the wrong site
Be an internet troll
Be of the Orc species
Leave crums exactly a pixel in length, width, height, and mass.
Violate the CC-BY-SA license
Violate the Creative Commons Sharealike License
Violate any CC license.
Watch pronz in restraunt bathrooms.
Moan so loud it wakes up the neighborhood
Be part of the EVILNUSS PREVENTASS SQAD that kills innocents for no reason other than blood, gore, and tongue cutting.
Travel on Route 69 in 1969.
Time travel!
Bend reality
Gain telekanis
Read the Communist Manifesto
Read Harmonic Illusions in Science by Hemson L. Johnathan
Use a pen-name.
Hide your identity
Lie
Gamble
Drink alcoholic beverages
Go to casinos
Pay the rent for someone else
Borrow a used condom
Be a trap
Be attracted to traps
Be attracted to children
Have a small peepee hole
Not fear F R E D D I E F R E A K E R.
Have Yellow Color Blindness
Have Blue Color Blindness
Be colorblind in general
Not tip the waiter at least 50% of the meal. You say you don't know how to get 50% of the bill? YOURAMOUNT - 50%. Simple. Calculatours exist, smh.
Play "Wake Me Up When September Ends" at exactly 5:01PM, Saturday, August 30th, LEAP YEAR.
Eat the number 7
Orgasm with a Wii Remote
Use the Wii Remote vibrations for the above activity.
Endorse EA
Endorse SEGA
Retired from Nickelodeon in or before the year 2000.
Deal pot
Deal meth
Deal crystal methane
Deal any drugs that aren't legal
Repeat yourself three times
Repeat yourself three times
Repeat yourself three times
Repeat yourself four times
repeat yourself four times
repeat yourself four times
repeat yourself four times
Write depressing shit
my dog died yesterday guys, please enjoy my list...
Repeat 128 items on a list
7
shoot people's eyeballs out, kid
Play as either of the following:
Lucaro
Hitler
Ryan Cooper
Falcon
Nick Fury
All other characters are heavenly and art not to be thought of as not so.
Leave out an item on a list
Use IIRC
spin 3 times before singing "Ot's the best day ever" at the top of your lungs

271. skip a number on a list

272. screw up formatting

273. Leave too much whitespace

274. talk in reverse

275. eserever ni klat

276. listen to reversed music.

277. Use Zalgo text.

The Lost "666 Things to Do to Ensure You Go To Hell" List.

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