The Lost and the Damned and the Ballad of Gay PATRIXXX

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There once was a twenty-year-old named D'Angelo Seuss. He had just moved from Novora, Detroit to the University of Michigan. He was studying Architecture and Urban Planning. His roommate seemed pretty cool. He was a twenty one-year-old named Rufus Bennington. One night in the first week of living in the dorm, D'Angelo and Rufus were watching a Star Wars movie marathon because they didn't have class the next day. They were finally past the prequels. Suddenly, the lights started flickering. "Dammit" said Rufus. "The lightbulb's going out. I'll go see if Rocco has any." Rufus left the room just to go across the hall where their friend Rocco lived. D'Angelo had to admit that he was scared. He knew it was stupid cause it was just a flickering lightbulb, but he was. All of a sudden the TV went out, but there was still a voice speaking through the TV. "This is for the sins. I cannot cleanse you, to Hell I send you" it said deeply, followed by a series of maniacal laughter. "Oh, shit!" screamed D'Angelo. He ran out of the room, only to find Rufus laying on the floor, bleeding. "Holy fuck, Rufus! Who did this to you?" Rufus said, slowly, "D' was...P-" and died on the spot. "Oh fuck!" screamed D'Angelo. He ran down the hallway only to be confronted by a shadow. "What the hell are you?" screeched D'Angelo. The shadowous humanoid said slowly, "I am God." The thing came out of the shadow and it was PATRIXXX and he butt-fucked D'Angelo.

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