The Not So Family Guy
Day in and day out, i’ve seen plenty of strange and crazy things in my life. Crazy idea after crazy idea goes through me and i have to decide whether or not the director should even waste his time on it or not. I guess it all comes with the job. Everything has been fine in my career as a lead animator of cartoons. That was before three weeks ago. I am a lead animator for the Fox show “Family Guy”. As you may know, a lot of crazy things are shown. Just when i thought i’d seen it all, i was wrong.
About a month ago we got the word to make another few episode of the highly demanded show. We recently had a few of our interns quit (Todd Benson and Jefferson Finch), which would’ve made our jobs more tedious . However we luckily did find a man to fill both of their positions. His name was Chris Langdon, A quiet, shy, and reserved man. He was tall, pale skinned, had black straight hair, a very short haired beard and spoke softly. When we first introduced him around the offices he would nod once in a while, but nothing else. It wasn’t until recently we discovered he was fired from his previous job. However we did not know that, he claimed he left because they weren’t allowing him to express his capabilities. We filled him in about the shows we were going to make. He was a very skilled man. He was assigned the tasks of writing the scripts and the story board artwork.
I told him if he had any further questions, to just ask me. He didn’t. Instead a week after assigning him he dropped a tape on my desk with nothing but a lone label that had “The Not So Family Guy” written in red Sharpie. I was outraged, he made an entire episode without so much as even asking about anything that could be questionable. I grabbed this tape and told him “go to the conference room now Chris, I’ll be there shortly”. He walked out of my office door slowly and reluctantly. As soon as the door clicked shut, i reached over and contacted the receptionist. I asked Molly the receptionist if she could ask Seth (Macfarlane) the director, if he was open for a conference for about 15 minutes. As busy as Seth is, i didnt expect to get a conference with him. Molly paged my phone and told me he would be right there. I was shocked, he can almost never make conferences. I went into the design room and requested Elizabeth (The girl who oversees the designers) Andrew (Lead Storyboard Artist) and Sylvia (Lead writer) to follow me to the conference room.
We walked through the double wooden doors into a cold room with a long dark brown table and matching office chairs. Chris sat on the right side of the table in the middle chair. I sat directly across the table from him. Elizabeth to my right, Andrew to my left, and Sylvia on Chris’ right side. We sat for a good 5 minutes before the double doors swung open quickly and in stepped Seth. Confused and requesting answer i greeted him and told him the situation. “Seth, Chris here decided to produce an entire episode of Family Guy himself without consent of any of the Leads”. He stared at me for a moment and sat down. he muttered the words, “Put the tape in, i’ve haven’t got much time”. I handed the tape to Sylvia whom was closest to the Tv and she played the tape. What happened next, no one expected.
A few moments of static played and then a black screen. Abruptly it turned white, and the the living room of The Griffin’s home was on the screen. However It was lacking artistic color. Colors such as red, white, and black were highly overexposed. The room looked odd. The corners of the room were excessively dark. A strange wimpering could be heard. An almost realistic wimpering. Almost like it was in the conference room. A few more moments of light static passed and the wimpering grew louder. Meg (The Griffins Daughter) walked into the living room. Unlike the typical 2D drawing, its was almost humaniod. Like it was actually played by a person. Her eyes weren’t normal though. They were bloodshot red. you could notice tears on her face. When she walked into the room you could see what looked like blood running from her arms. She fell onto the couch harshly. her wimpering now a deep cry. Almost like a cry of torture.
No one could ever act out a cry like that. It all looked so real, and seemed so real. A moment or two later you hear what sounds to be a door shutting. You would hear loud footsteps and then a dragging sound. From the corner of the screen you see the back of Peter walk in dragging something by what looks like the feet. He drops the object and lifts a large kitchen knife that is in his hand. As he walked towards Meg a gut wrenching cry was let out. She struggled for a moment but was grabbed and overpowered. Peter then grabs her by the back of the head and pushes it down into the couch. For the next 15 seconds Megs struggles to free herself but cannot move. Peter then takes the large knife and slowly starts sawing at the side of Megs neck. muffled morbid crys of terror and pain erupt from the couch as blood begins spraying all over the floor of the room. Elizabeth, who has a weak stomach nearly vomited at the sight. Chris began snickering. He had the oddest smirk on his face as he glared at the screen. Eventually Peter finishes decapitating Meg. He then cut open her abdomen spilling Megs intestines all over the couch.
At this moment Peter looks toward the camera. His stare blank and cold, his eyes nearly black. A horrid smile on his face as he walks toward what he was dragging earlier. He drug it into frame. A beaten, battered, and what apperead to be, sexually assaulted Lois was dead on the floor. She had bruises over most of her body, her clothes were ripped, deep stab wounds to her chest and abdomen made everyone but Chris in the conference room gasp. He drags her to the couch and throws her onto Meg. Peter then walks off screen for a good 2 minutes leaving you to stare at the two lifeless corpses. He then walks back in with what appears to be a sledgehammer. He walks off camera and up the stairs. You hear what appears to be a struggle between Chris and Peter. A few seconds later you hear Chris begging not to be killed. Asking Peter why he’s doing this. Then a loud Thud is heard and more dragging sounds. Then you hear the thuds coming down the steps then Peter comes back onto the left side of the screen dragging Chris by the legs.
You could bearly hear a faint gurgling noise coming from Chris. Thats when Peter swiftly swings the Slegehammer and crushes Chris’ skull. Brain and skull fragments spattered all over the blood soaked rug and the walls. It was at this point Elizabeth vomited on the table. Chris began laughing with a dark look on his face. A look that petrified even Seth. He told everyone to keep watched, so we did as he told in hopes of not making him do something crazy.
Peter then walks back off screen up the steps. A few minutes go by and he walks back down and into view. This time he is holding Stewie in his arms. Stewie is asleep, gently snoring. It sounds so real the way he was snoring, so genuine. He then walks and puts Stewie down on the couch gently and walks up to the camera. Peter then says “These eyes see nothing but truth, we are nothing” he keeps wispering “we are nothing” for about a minute. Then he takes his hands and starts calwing at his eyes. he stops once they are nearly gone and hanging from the sockets. He then walks off screen and it turns to static. Everyone was Horrified and disturbed beyond belief. Chris then abruptly stands up and leaves the room.
We quickly followed him. He went to the parking lot and got in his white Jeep. He then sped away. Sylvia called the California State Police. They located where Chris lived within a few hours. We drove to the location and met with officer Kenny West. After knocking on the door repeatedly, Officer West kicked the door in. Laying on the couch was a middle aged woman, a teenage girl, and a dead teenage boy on the floor. A baby infant was on the couch next to the dead corpses. I vomited twice at the sight and smell of it all. Further invesigation of the house found multiple tapes and a microphone. Chris was found laying in the back yard, his eyes clawed out and hanging by the sockets. Further investigation showed that the tapes found in Langdons’ home were used in the tape and were actually recordings of the murder of his wife and two children. Chris Langdon is being held in the John George Psychiatric Pavilion in San Leandro, California. He is facing 3 charges of murder. When the gaurds of the Pavilion walk past his holding cell, they tell us that they always hear him saying “My eyes see nothing but truth, we are nothing”
I have asked Seth multiple times where the tape is being held, he told me it was property of Fox and the California State Police Department. 4 days after the tape was watched for the first time, Sylvia Myers was found dead in her home. She commited suicide by hanging herself. A note recovered from the scene said “The sights and sounds of hell, etch deeply in my head. They cast dispair into my most heavenly dreams and deliver hell unto me.” The California State Police have not released any news about this basement tape to the public. It is common claim that Fox payed them not to release it to the members of the press. The tape was released and has since been kept entirely secret by Fox. Fox has told Seth and me numerous times that they have no future intent of releasing the tape.
Credited to MontieShaw
Originally posted on Crappypasta.com on July 2, 2012
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