The Return of Shia Labeouf (the sequel to Actual Cannibal, Shia LaBeouf)
You're driving down a road.
It's empty and dark,
But your phone is charged.
It's been about a year since you first fought him,
Shia LaBeouf.
Your phone starts to ring
You answer it, shaking.
"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath.
"I'm decapitated."
Shia LaBeouf.
You get out of your car,
A headless man appears.
He's almost upon you now
And you can see he's holding his head!
My god, it's Shia LaBeouf!
Running for your life
(From Shia LaBeouf.)
He's putting on his head.
(It's Shia LaBeouf.)
Starting to give chase now
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Avenging his death,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Trying to eat your body
Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf.
It's morning, and you seem to have lot him,
You go back into your car.
You thought you killed that murderer,
You drive silently through the countryside.
A-ha! In the distance,
A small police station with a car in front.
Hope!
You drive stealthily toward it,
But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf!
Exiting your car,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Creeping toward the station,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Now you're on the doorstep,
He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf.
Brandishing an ax,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
But you quickly dodge as he exits,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
He's coming up behind you.
Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf,
Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf,
Stab it in his stomach.
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf.
You limp back to your white car,
Air flowing into your lungs.
you have just won.
You have murdered Shia LaBeouf
Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise!
There's an ax in his hands, and death in his eyes.
But you still have your knife, now
Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf
Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf
Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf
You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf
But the ax is coming fast at your tired head
You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left
He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest
You're cutting out his heart now
You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf
His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
