The Smurfs: Lost Episode
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NSFW WARNING
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I was a fan of the Smurfs. You know, the little blue guys, originally starred in cartoonist Peyo's comic "The Magic Flute", and later got their own cartoon show, and even 2 movies! Now, what you may not know, a lost episode was created to reflect Peyo's inner, shall we say, surrealistic nature. I was rummaging through the basement, finding many great things in boxes such as unopened LEGO Castle and Town sets, and old VHS tapes, and below and behold, the Smurfs tape! I picked up the tape and went out the basement (which was located in the laundry room) and romped into the living room and popped the VHS tape in the player. The tape started up with a commercial for Hanna-Barbera classics on VHS tapes. After that the episode started, with the intro all normal... except that the screen was tinted BLUE. After that, the title card with the words "Smurfy Smurfed Smoif" appeared on screen. What was I to expect? Then, Papa smurf appeared and looked at Smurfette and said, "Smurfette, Smurf town is safe no more! Come with me, and we can run away, live the life!" Smurfette just stood there and pulled out a blunt. Now, I knew NOBODY smoked on the Smurfs, even though it has been decades since I watched the Smurfs. The tape continued to play. Brainy Smurf walked in on the two Smurfs and pulled out a pistol, putting it up to his head. "M-m-my life was a lie... WHY PAPA? WHY?" Papa Smurf grew angry and yelled at Brainy, "YOU KNOW YOUR LIFE IS WORTHWHILE, LIVE IT OR YOU WILL GO TO HELL!" Papa threw Brainy against a mushroom house, which an angry Artist Smurf or, whatever his names was, like, Painter Smurf. He shouted, "YOU MONSIEUR MOUTHARFUCKAR! GO TOU HEIL!" Woah. I never knew that Italian bastard was so shitty. Brainy threw a rock a Smurfette and then she pulle out a FUCKIN' FAMAS and shot him in the foot! Brainy had just about had enough. He picked up his pistol that he dropped and locked on Papa Smurf. "Hasta la vista, assmunch." BOOM. Papa's head exploded with a greasy orange substance splattering all over the center of SmurfTown. "Ah ah ah!" laughed Artiste Smurf, as he started painting a picture of... A hairy VAGINA. This was too weird for my tasticular tastes in animation itself. It seems as this tape contains so, surreal violence as wells as slight sexual references, just ployed. Smurf Papa ate a peanut. He said,
"WHO WAS PHONE????"
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