The TRUE reason behind the Crank Yankers hiatus
I'm certain everyone knows of the comedic Comedy Central puppet show Crank Yankers, it was a puppet-styled pranking show based around prank calling people, better known as "crank calling" among the show's audience. On the cool night of February 9th 2007, eager fans sat around their televison sets awaiting the next episode of their beloved show, to no avail. Confused fans sat and spread rumours amongsts themselves of what could have happened. Suddenly, an energetic Comedy Central bumper started playing, explaining that the episode would be delayed until next week and that a previous episode would be played in favour of the new episode. While viewers sat content with a re-run of a fan favourite, alarm bells were ringing at Comedy Central as CEO John Beck shared the news with the Crank Yankers team that the target of tonight's planned episode, S4 E9 (dubbed as Call of the Dead by the writing crew) had tragically taken their own life during the recording of the episode, so they had to quickly pull the episode from schedule and scramble for a replacement while figuring out what to do, they could NOT let this information reach the public, let alone the press.
The episode "Call of the Dead" revolved around 42 year-old man Ricken Morty (pictured above) and his recent family lossses. They were filming a commercial for LV Insurance (the dom diddy dom diddy dee dee car ads, the one with the green car) when a drunk driver struck their 2006 Honda Civic, sending it careening into a nearby lake, resulting in the deaths of his Parents and Sister, he had no immediate family left. As an attempt to cheer him up, his friends decided to request Comedy Central make an episode playing his lost family, but the writers misjudged the limits and went too far. As the episode played through, Ricken's "lost family" called him in a comedic matter with a notable ghost-like filter placed over their voice referencing things such as the temperature of the water, the amount of space in the car, and how LV Insurance can cover water damage. At the time of filming the episode, Ricken's mental state was very poor leading to him having a very poor state of mind, and a very bad string of thoughts. When Ricken began recieving these calls, his declining mental state lead him to believe that these calls were from his family post-mortem. Due to the the studio requiring a lot of material for the episode, the calls were long and frequent, he was so infatuated with the contact that when the crew revealed that it was all for the new episode of the show, Ricken was sent into a despair-induced fit of mania. This lead to a desire to be with his deceased family members again, Ricken took down the 12-gauge shotgun down from its frame, he loaded the weapon while beginning to mumble the theme song to Crank Yankers under his breath. The volume of his murmurings grew louder as the cast on the other side of the line grew concerned of Ricken's actions, until it gained enough volume to such a point that he was screaming the lyrics, his voice growing hoarse. As the theme song reached its crescendo, a deafening visceral bang was heard ringing across the phone line, accompanied by a nauseating gurgle and dripping. In shock, the team hung up the phone and shut down the session.
As the following weeks came. keen-eyed viewers noticed that Crank Yankers was nowhere to be seen, which lead viewers to ask the CEO about the future of the show. During a press-conference aired during the scheduled time of Crank Yankers, the CEO announced a indefinite hiatus of the show as we know it due to "unexpected developments", we would later figure out that this was untrue.
Fast-forward to 2019, a major data-breach in Comedy Central's editing sector occurred, which lead to multiple leaks from Comedy Central's archives. These leaks spread like wildfire on sites like 4chan, Reddit and other sites such as Discord, Smelfboardz and Liveleak. Among the leaks, one stood out. The 9th episode of Season 4 of Crank Yankers, better known as Call of the Dead. Comedy Central refuses to acknowledge these leaks, and have outright denied Call of the Dead's existance. They have taken down all public links to the episode, but it is still wandering around the internet somewhere. If you do manage to come across it, watch at your own risk, because it has not been edited and still retains all the raw footage and audio from the incident.
Written by Myself (Spitzitout Wimplesnatch), my friend Dickmouth Wigglethorn, and Wheezy Joe-Johnson.
Honorary Mention: Chewy Clovenhoof.
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