The Trouble With Extra Crunchy Crisps: Difference between revisions
The Trouble With Extra Crunchy Crisps (view source)
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Bob also served as a supplier for Eddie Scarpa who paid him in buckets of fish so Bob could make himself fish and chips as it was the only thing he could actually cook. He also didn't speak ever. Every time Bob goes to speak; his wife interrupts him. As you may have heard if you've got the Oliver Charles funnypasta guide, Bob hasn't spoken since the great fire of 82. A fire of which he was personally responsible for. Poor poor Bob the tomato.
Another big supplier for Walkers was Stinky a burger truck van owner from Somerset. He sold crisps to local teenagers who were the prime addicts to the crunchy crisps. Whenever someone questioned Stinky, he'd make up a bullshit sob story about how his mother used to have to wash his clothes in the oven. This made everyone feel sorry for him and offer to buy more of his merchandise. Stinky was also incredibly racist to crabs as he refused to sell to Mr Krabs and Plankton calling them, "rag boy and Smelly ton." Stinky was also not working with Scarpa like Bob was which made his truck vulnerable to attack. A great example of this was when Stinky was captured by gangsters working for Scarpa after a truck of their crunchy crisps had gone missing. Scarpa falsey believed that Stinky had been the truck stealer due to his thieving nature. "Where's the fucking crisps!? We lost our truck full!" One of the gangsters yelled while pointing a gun to Stinky's head. This issue was thankfully later resolved after Stinky paid a smell fine of 60 grand to Scarpa. Thankfully. Stinky was eventually arrested for getting kids addicted to extra crunchy crisps. He is currently serving life in Hartmann Federal Penitentiary. So
Walkers meanwhile have been facing complaints over the addictiveness of their extra crunchy crisps. An incredibly rude news reporter named Gareth Eggplant asked Henry Tomasino at a press conference once; "why do you keep selling Walkers if they're killing people?" "Uh...
The Easily Offended Knights of Nottingham were especially offended by the crisps because of course they were. They made a PSA on an incredibly hard to access website about the dangers of eating the crisps. Now I would give you a link but uh I wouldn't actually recommend going to that site if I were you. Maybe I am you. I dunno shit. The website is incredibly dangerous and every time you press play on the video it cuts to an incredibly smelly man eating basil from a jar. He looks like Clancy Brown. He then presses a button on an intercom and says, "just relax." His voice is incredibly gruff sounding. He then proceeds to play Pirates of the Caribbean for the original Xbox as incredibly loud music plays in the background. It sounds like a bus going down a hill.
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So to conclude, extra crunchy crisps are evil and you should never ever buy them. If you need a snack just go and murder an M&M. That M&M was rude anyway as it insulted you for not getting a bigger bowl. That's just sick. I hope it croaked on a frog like some kind of Karl Pilkington. If I were you, I'd steer clear from buying any crisps from Walkers. Stick to buying Doritos or Monster Munch or Wotsits. You could even buy What Zit Tooya Crisps which are absolutely horrible and will break your teeth the second you bite into them. No joke it's like eating a brick. Bloody horrible. So that's the end now if you excuse me I'm gonna go and have a snack. Yeah a nice little crunchy snack.
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