The Turtle of my Dreams

My name is... Bob Bobberson.

Something like that i dunno im bad at coming up with names

I MEAN THAT IS TOTALLY MY REAL NAME, PFFFFT!

Anyways, I am a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, and one day I went to my local GameStop and saw they had a new Ninja Turtles game called "NINJA TURTLES 666 DEATH STAB KILL BLOOD"! I bought it despite the insane and somewhat idiotic name.

I put it into my Wii, and when it started it up there was a loud voice that said "DIE!" I ignored it and kept playing because PFFFFT YOLO!

I began playing and saw there was already one file. It said "666 STAB KILL DIE FIRE DEATH DEMON I WILL KILL YOU AND DRINK YOUR BLOOD DEATH DEATH DIE DEATH!"

I started up the file and saw I was playing as Van Goh. You know... the fifth turtle. His mask is beige. HE IS TOTALLY NOT A NERDY ANIME DEVIANTART ORIGINAL CHARACTER IF THATS WHAT YOURE THINKING THATS DUMB ONLY STUPID HIPSTERS DO THAT VAN GOH IS TOTALLY REAL PFFFFT!!!!

I saw Van Goh was on fire and dying and realistic blood was shooting out of his mouth like barf.

I kept playing until a jumpscare happened of Sonic the Hedgehog with completely black eyes dripping hyper realistic blood. I peed myself and had a kidney failure.

After tons of intensive care at the hospital, I went back home to play the game. I put the disc into my NES, and as it started up there was another jumpscare, this time of a turtle-like skull with blood on it. I turned off the game and took out the disc and lit it on fire. A while later, I heard a knock on my door, and my extremely fat, shirtless, bearded mailman, named Bert, threw a disc at me and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

I looked at Bert's disc and saw it was the NINJA TURTLE GAME FROM BEFORE! I screeeeaaaaaaaaamed!!!!!

I put the cartridge in my Xbox 360, and started up the game, and saw that there was ANOTHER file, simply titled---

"BERT".

I started Bert's file, but saw I was playing as Leonardo! WOAAAAH HE'S NOT VAN GOH! As I walked around I saw the other turtles, all dead, except for Van Goh, who was flying around with demonic wings and hyper realistic blood dripping from his eyes. Van Goh swooped down and cut off Leonardo's head with a sword. Hyper realistic blood shot out everywhere, and Van Goh shouted "I... AM... GOD!!!!!!!!"

The screen went to black, and I sighed with relief. Suddenly, A GIANT GREEN TURTLE FIST CAME CRASHING THROUGH THE TV SCREEN AND HIT ME IN THE FACE, PUNCHING MY HEAD RIGHT OFF OF MY BODY AND NOW I AM DEAD AND MY GHOST WROTE THIS!

YOU ARE READING A STORY BY A GHOST!

AND I AM HAUNTING YOU!

LOOK OUT THE WINDOW I AM OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE WATCHING YOU RIGHT NOW!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

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