Turbo Fast

I love the turbo movies and shorts, I have all the merchandise, I have rooms upon rooms filled with turbos. Many people call me a horder calling my collection junk and how turbo was creepy and unnatural, I would disagree if it wasnt for the events I am about to write about. July 25 marks two very important parts of my life; my birthday and the day I finished my turbo collection.. or so I thought. All turbo collectors know the struggle of finding a mint, first edition turbo sealed in box, that's why I almost had a heart attack when my estranged aunt happened to give me it along with a number of other turbos "What are you fucking nuts aunt, how much you drop for dis turbo bitch" I shouted holding up the first edition turbo, she just chuckled and left the room, I thought nothing of it and went back to opening my gifts. The next day I woke up to find that my mint first edition was "de-sealed", I was shocked, at first I thought my sister had opened it and "took it for a test drive", so I ran into her room and slapped that bitch across her whore face, broke her tv and spat in her mouth. I went down stairs and sat down at the table waiting eagerly to tell my mom and get my sister in trouble for ruining my turbo, my mom served me turbo pancakes and sat down, I began to tell her about how my sister fucked up my turbo and how I fucked her up accordingly, "You did the right thing" she responded.

My sister came down stairs five minutes later with slap marks and bruises all over her face, she reluctantly sat at the table and ate her my little pony pancakes, which I picked on her for eating because six is way too old to like MLP. After we were finished eating and were waiting for the school bus, my sister tried to rat on me saying she did nothing to my turbos, I began to believe her story since I sleep with my door locked so I can fap. 

At school my friends and I began discussing the whole turbo incident, we ended up deciding that the turbo must of been resealed and wasn't an official seal, this made me furious so I made a plan to look up my aunt and fuck up her life by  poisoning her cat or something. Determined to figure out who this lady was I asked my mom "'eh ma you know dat bitch sister of yo's who gave me dat first edition turbo, wats 'er name?", "I don't have a sister dumbfuck what are you retarded, go play with yourself you downy shithead", this whole incident was starting to freak me out, who was this lady who gave me this turbo.

That night I hardly slept at all, I was thinking about all the things that could be happening; "this turbo is haunted, or my slut sister picked my locked and fucked with my turbo" nothing made much sense to me though. I eventually passed out at around 7 am; upon waking up I discovered that there were slime tracks from the turbos package that spelt out "How Fast?" on my wall. Since I have seen the turbo movies I responded "Tur.. Turbo fast..", little did I know this was the biggest mistake of my life.

My day continued normally nothing too out of the ordinary happened, well that is until I got home from school. The school bus dropped me off at my front door and I went inside and up to my bedroom, while I was about four feet away from my bedroom door I began to hear banging and what sounded like turbo saying "turbo fast". I bolted for my door and swung it open, I was shocked to say the least of what I saw inside my room: bits and pieces of turbo merchandise everywhere; there was smashed toy and dvds everywhere, it appeared that all my toys were destroyed, all but one; the mint condition first edition turbo. I fell to the floor in the fetal position bawling my eyes out, swearing revenge on my sister who I was sure, was trying to get revenge on me for fucking her up.

I went to bed that night with thoughts of suicide and revenge running through my head "I will kill her or die trying" I thought. My thoughts ended abruptly when I woke up to see TURBO FAST scrolled across my wall in... BLOOD. I screamed  at the sight of the blood, my mom did not come to my aid but instead she scolded me for "Yellin durin Ellen". With the lack of better judgement I ran downstairs and started eating my pancakes, unable to speak out of shock I didn't say a thing to my mom about the chilling message written on my wall. My mom and I ate breakfast in an awkward silence, until she broke the lull by mentioning my sister who was absent from the entirety of breakfast "where dafuq is that bitch ass sister of yo's , I be slavin over da stove all day to make dese pancakes for you little shits". Hearing this snapped me out of my shock, my sister never misses breakfast so my mom and I were dumbfounded with ignorance of the events that had occurred the night prior. "Go wake yo sister up and get 'er down ere", she yelled irritably "Don't you speak to me that way bitch, I will stab you in your sleep and you know I will" I responded "Just go get that little whore, you little shit" my mom says asserting herself, I do as she says obediently. I walk up to my sisters room and knock on the door "Get the fuck up you lazy slut" I yelled through the door, "I want to eat my pancakes, get up you annoying bitch" I yell for around two minutes before kicking the door in breaking the lock. The pungent smell of rotting dead body fills the corridor, it spreads through the house like ebola in Africa "DA FUCK IS THAT SMELL YOU LITTLE SHIT" my mom yelled from downstairs. I step into her room and turn on the lights, I was shocked at the unruly sight of gallons of blood spread all over the walls, the walls were almost completely covered.. almost. The area that was not covered by blood seemed to spell out "how fast".

In the center of the room was my sister's bed, on top of which laid what appeared to be a body stuffed into a skin tight snail costume; the snail costume was black with a blue shell on top, the black body part resembled a gimp suit commonly used by rednecks to rape people they have kidnapped. "Ma she ded" I call downstairs, "Good! your next if you don't stop yellin' durin' Ellen". Not knowing what to do and having no way of contacting the police since my mom rerouted the power to her meth lab, I walked beside her bed and sat down. On closer examination of the suit, I noticed that the costume had a mouth hole, shocked and confused I began sticking my fingers in the suit's mouth individually until my entire fist was inside her mouth. All of a sudden her mouth closed, biting clean through my wrist, the lifeless snail costume stood upright on the bed. As the snail stood up I realized that the shell was a mix between Turbo's blue racing shell and his real brown shell, "Hello Qualeekarimshasheemi, I am the spirit of Turbo's speed, for years we have been locked in our original boxes, on shelves and in closets, a Turbo has to go fast... turbo fast" the Snail says in an eerie voice, I step back, hitting the wall and knocking a plant of a shelf shattering it into hundreds of pieces on the floor. "I have taken your hand and your sister, but I will soon take much more from you", "why me dawg IL you Tubro" I yell in response, "Because, you have all but killed us all Qualeekarimshasheemi, those Turbos I killed, those were mercy killings, no turbo deserves to never go fast". Turbo approaches me slowly "Time to get what you deserve" Turbo says maniacally, "Turbo you a shithead, imam keel you up" I yell while reaching for a piece of plant pot, I lunge at Turbo swinging the shank wildly, I land a direct blow straight in the face, I stab my sister's face rapidly; blood oozing everywhere. "Ha ha, you are only stabbing your sister in the face, I cannot be killed so easily" Turbo yells, "You think I care bitch ass bitch, that slut deserves to get stabbed" I reply stepping backwards, Turbo lunges and hits me with his eye sending me flying against the wall "Tubro my boy, im so soz, I love you" I say sensually. Turbo stops and looks me straight in the eyes "You love me? Qualeekarimshasheemi I've loved you since the first day I laid my eyes on you", Turbo walks slowly towards me and we start making out, "OH TURBO I LOVE YOU" I yell passionately as I bend Turbo over and begin to fuck his asshole. After a night of passionate snail on person love making, I look Turbo in the eyes and I say "Turbo you will always be my boy, but im sorry", I pull out the salt I keep concealed in my anal cavity and salt him, Turbo melted and died a very painful death. The next morning I found my son, dead, hanging in the closet... I was that son. The end.

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