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Mr bean.png   NSFW WARNING

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Venus is somewhat of a local bogeyman in my town, or rather he was when I was in high school and kids liked to tell stories about weird and messed up stuff - Venus cropped up more than most and was apparently a well-received legend as variations of his story had been circulating around the town at least as far back as my grandfather.

So what is the story of Venus? well - the proper title for the story is actually "Venus the Penis", which I assure you got a good snicker from immature kids in high school: that was until they actually stopped laughing and listened to the story.. then their snickering usually turned to either disgust, slight fear or the usual high school tactic of a nervous laugh and quickly leaving the scene proclaiming the story to be "lame".

The story itself certainly had an impact on me and remains, in my humble opinion, one of the strangest urban legends around - though I'm sure there has been stranger.. allow me to tell you the story of my high school bogeyman..

Venus was born a freak of nature, having no genitalia whatsoever, yet amazingly he would grow up and thrive despite of his condition - yet simply surviving did not mean Venus was exempt from the obvious consequences of having such an obvious abnormality.

Other children quickly made fun of Venus and by the time he was in high school things went from bad to worse, as with many bullied children Venus lashed out but was a poor fighter and ended up getting himself in trouble with teachers and his own parents, who would beat him in an effort to stop what they saw as his "wild" behavior.

Given this backstory it was little surprise Venus grew into a hateful man and saw other humans as anything but friendly - taking to the streets Venus would soon begin the grisly crime spree that would earn him the name of "Venus the Penis".

Always tormented in his youth about his lack of manhood it seemed Venus would opt for his own brand of "justice" when he began to stalk and mutilate males in the dead of night - leaving authorities with an alarming scene of multiple men appearing with their penises quite literally chopped off.

It didn't take long for authorities to find Venus however, who had taken to collecting his victims' penises in jars - authorities raiding a small apartment where he had been squatting for several weeks.

This is where I end the story, like many urban legends there were variants - one of the more popular ones being that when Venus was arrested he managed to somehow escape, overpower his guard and disappeared into the night.. this however always struck me as trying a little too hard..

That's why I prefer to leave this tale short, I imagine it seems silly and not that shocking to those familiar with ghost stories and the macabre but I remember when I first heard the story of being wary of entering the park at night.. not because of the obvious dangers of muggers or gangs but due to that imaginary fear of Venus, waiting in the dark..

That, in my view, is enough to merit him a place amongst other bogeymen - as for whether the story ever happened or not.. that's really not my concern.. I think somethings are better left a mystery.

Credited to BloodPony

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