Vladimir Putin and Ivan Drago the Machoke: Difference between revisions

I have to relay this story to the world...

 

 

Could it be a wild Ursaring? A carnivorous Beartic? No. It was a normal, hostile bear. He got ready to attack, but something else happened. Putin heard the mystifying melody of gruffness, a Pokemon's voice! "MAAA-CHOKE!" it roared. Out of nowhere, a huge, purple fist punched the bear away, sending it flying through the air and into the horizon, much like how Team Rocket in the Pokemon Anime would "Blast-off". It disappeared into the horizon with a twinkle, and a final roar- which Putin thought was saying: "I'm blasting off again!" Putin looked to his savior- a hulking, purple beast of a Pokemon- Machoke. Once it was done posing, the Machoke looked to Vladimir, and closed its eyes.

 

The beast kneeled down next to Putin, and enclosed him in a loving embrace- as if it was a parent protecting its child. Putin was surprised by the wild-beast's affection and reluctantly returned the expression of comfort and gratitude. They pulled away from each other, as a blizzard started to roll in. Putin looked into the Machoke's eyes and saw an immense amount of humanity in them. A chill crawled up Putin's spine, as he reached inside of his backpack for one of the Pokeballs he had brought along with him. In fact, he was surprised to see a living Pokemon this far out in Siberia, as most of them would get sick and die from the extremely cold temperatures.

 

Once he was back in Moscow, Putin clapped his hands for five minutes, and ran like an excited child back to the Kremlin. He immediately took out the Pokeball containing Machoke. He leisurely tossed the ball into the air, causing Machoke to be sent out. "MACHOKE!" it roared. It was happy to be with Putin. Putin looked up at the creature, and decided upon a name for it. It came from the hit movie series, Rocky Balboa. He decided to name the Pokemon after a Russian boxer in one of the movies- Ivan Drago. Yes- it fit perfectly! He named him Ivan Drago on the spot. They embraced again, as the Machoke was happy with its new name. Putin was so enthusiastic, that he wanted to start training him that instant...

 

It was getting late however, and it was almost time to go to sleep. And the President of Russia needs his sleep if he wants to make sure the country runs in tip-top shape, right? They Trainer and Pokemon retired to Putin's personal bed, where they slept together in an embrace that could make any married couple jealous. These two were meant for each other. While he slept, Putin dreamed about taking Ivan to Pokemon tournaments where he would be able to mercilessly defeat the entire competition and take home first prize. He would even beat out that pesky Barack Obama and his award-winning Dragonite, along with that weirdo Kim Jong Un and his Croagunk.

 

On the contrary, Ivan dreamed of riding on a ferris wheel with his newfound master, in the summer sun at a fun carnival. However, this dream suddenly turned into a nightmare when Ivan remembered that he had a terrible fear of heights! As the ferris wheel he and his master rode on climbed higher and higher, Ivan felt his bladder loosen. He began to urinate in his dream at a frightening pace due to his fears, and his urine began to fill up the ferris wheel cart they were in. As the urine level rose higher and higher, it spilled out of the cart and caused it to start tipping over. It continued tipping until Ivan, Putin, and their popcorn fell out of the cart and through the air.

 

THE END...?

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