WHO KILLED THE COW?

what 'WHO KILLED THE COW?' is

WHO KILLED THE COW? is an amazingly stupid and clever story where a bunch of dumb farmers find there cows killed and murdered and they all have one thing in common: they all shout "who killed the cow?" there is no avoiding your cow being killd; for some reason cows just keep get ing killed and farmers try to put a stop to it but they cant.

there are many versions of 'who killed the cow?' if you want to read them then scroll down, but these are just few of the many versions of who killed the cow. the original version was never found but just look it up and if you find the original version then good for you and post it on here so everyone knows who really killed the cow.

original version

farmer joe awoke with a start. he had heard a loud bang that woke him up. joe was angry because he was trying to get his beauty sleep. he sat up and shook his wife from sleep. "honey i heard some thing so i will go and check what it is" so farmer joe reached under the pillow and pulled out the gun he had saved in case some guy broke in and went out side to see what it was. and then farmer joe went outside to see what it was. he dropped his gun and screamed at what he saw. his cow was dead. then farmer joe said: "WHO KILLED MY FRIGGIN COW?"

it strikes again

farmer frank was sleeping peacefully when he heard a loud crash. he sat up straight and went down staires and got his gun. he said "i wonder who made that noise" and then went outside after he heard the bang to see what made the bang because he wondered what made the bang. farmer joe walked into the cow pen and saw his prize beauty cow had been brutally murdered and was covered in sticky blood and it's guts were ripped out and thrown every where like confetti! farmer frank said:

"WHO KILLED THE COW?

modern version

farmer farmer was gettin some nice sleep before he heard a loud "BANG! MOOOOOOOO" and sat up and screamed. he conjured a gun from no where and cocked it. "who ever made dat noise will friggin pay" angry farmer farmer sat up and went down stairs completely buck naked. he went out side in to the foggy nite and saw a bunch of flys fling out of no where and said "sho flys" and then saw the source of where the flys were com ing from a ded cow and he real ized it was his be-loved bestcow but it had been brutally mur dered and was dead and farmer farmer saw dat the cow wus stabb ed a bunch of times and said:

"AAAA! WHO KILLED MY COW!"

better then the rest version

farmer man laid down on his bed for a few seconds before he herd someding dat sounded like a cow screaming as if it was being murdered. farmer man remembered he had boughten a cow the other day and it was kill-a-cow season and sat up. his cow was no doubt being murdered by someone. or something.... hahhahahah farmer man got his gun. 'who ever is tring to kill my cow will pay" he said and then he went downstairs and heard another scream of a cow and ran faster and faster. wen he went outside he real ized he was to late, the cow was mutilated and bloody and murdered and farmer man looked at the chicken and the chicken said "i did nt do it" and farmer man looked at the horse and the horse said "i didn't do it" and then he looked at the moose and the moose said "I didn't do it" and then farmer man said:

"THEN WHO DID THEN? WHO KILLED MY COOOOOWWWWWWW!!!"

who did kill the cow?

WHO KILLED THE COW? causes controversy among the fellow interneters about who did kill the cow. many people say that jeff the killer did it but other theorizes saud that masky or eyeless jack or laughing jack or any other creepypasta person killed the cow. kill the cow! some times farmers will find giant circles in their fields but this time is different; when they find a dead mutilated cow of theres they will be way way way more then likely to call the police. no one has ever figured out who killed the cow. some people put up signs on farms without farmers permission that say "dont kill da cow" but ut never works.

how to prevent your cow from being kild

you dont want to end up like the idiotic farmers in da story dont you? well here are ways so your cow doesn't get blown to pieces by a knife or axe:

1. first make sure your cows are in doors at all times. many times when mutilatorexplodors try to get in to    a house, it makes noise and they are usually caught. 

2. another way to prevent your cow from beng tortured it to have a tazor an axe a gun a heck slayer and a groin grinder under your pillow. grinding groins of the cow killers will make them run away.

3. cows are very loud when they say "moo" so duck tape there mouth closed and make sure they dont take the duck tape off of there mouth and say "moo"

4. always set up a security camera in the pen of your cows pen. if you see the bad guy wen he brakes into a pen then you can identify him and look up his profile. 

5. you are an idiot to be a farmer.

6. Cows can sing. do a complex surgury to them to make them sing a creepy song to scare the cowkiller away so your cow doesnt get killed.

7. shrink your cows in the washer so they will be small and the burgler cant find them. this is a good method.

who would kill a cow?

i have no idea.

the ending (uh finally!)

so here is the ending. i think its time to wrap it up. WHO KILLED THE COW will remain a number one trollpasta for ever and ever. so here is a recap of the things you learned today!

1. cows easily get killed by @#$%^&*

2. you need to !@#$%^ protect your cow idiot.

3. who killed the cow is a real thing and a real problem.

4. some farmers are dumb.

5. it is best if you arent a farmer.

6. cows are the number one targets of vicious and insane sereal killers.

7. there are many versions of who killed the cow.

8. who killed the cow is a contriverseal internet phenomena and even has it's own wiki called "WHO KILLED THE COW.wikia.com."

9. who killed the cow can be used as a meta fore. 

10. try to prevent who killed the cow from happening.

11. who killed the cow teaches a valuable lesson: PROTECT YOUR FRIGGIN COW IDIOT!

12. there are many people that dont know about who killed the cow.

13. you can get a great benefit from protecting your cow.

14. you learned how to prevent who killed the cow. now tell your frends so there cow doesnt get killed.

references

just look up random trollpastas ok. ok.

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