What the hell was that?

Hello my name is Joshua. One day a very weird thing happened. That thing was so weird that after hearing it your head will explode and your soul will be send to shadow realm. Anyways one day I was standing in my room counting pineapple growing on my chair wchich I do every on saturday at 3am.Anyways then out of nowhere some man appeared. He was wearing black eyes and long legs. He looked at me with his red shirt and he said You will kill P. E. Nis or I will curse you forever. I replied what? who is P. E. Nis? He said he is human being from england. I replied I am not going to kill him for you. He moved his trousers around and said if you don't do that I will curse you. I asked What will happen after you curse me? He anwsered on your head after 10 minutes there will grow mushroom then after another 10 minutes 5 lemons will appear and you will have to eat them. I wasn't worried about that. By the way my name is A.S.S. Hole Joshua. How did he knew my name? I pissed myself from fear. Anyways then after 5 days if you won't kill him you will be send to city of Birmingham. I was scared my eyes run away from my head they flied to nearest circus and then they came back. and after another 10 days you will be send to hell A.S.S. said. I wasn't worried about that. But then he said and afterwards he said there will be no bread in your fridge. I was so scared that I decided to do it. Ok I will do it I said can you tell me where that man is? A. S. S. Hole replied No By they way I curse you and then he dissapeared. What a asshole. Anyways I decided to eat pineapple so ate it after 10 minutes mushroom grew on my head and I screamed for another 10 minutes then 5 lemons appeared and I ate them I suffered because of that I screamed for another 10 minutes now I know that this curse is real. I decided to serch for that P. E. Nis guy so I loked under my bed but he wasn't there after few seconds searching I gave up I was lost I searched him for so long but couldn't find him.So I decided to drink wine and beer at once I got so drunk I woke up next morning and my head was hurting I realised that I was sleeping in the thrash can and chair have been broken. Anyways I decided to ask somebody if he knew that P. E. Nis guy he said that he doesn't know and he slapped me so hard I saw birds above my head. Then I realised that on bottle of wine and beer there was half of a adress of that man so I used my magic to connect this two bottle into one And I had his adres he lived on Dick's street in Birmingham. So after 2 days of walking I appeared in Birmingham there was a lot of thrash there this whole town was made out of thrash and people were also thrash the worst town I have been too. so I went to that P. E. NIS guy I knocked on his door and he said Hello My name is Peter Edward Nis why did you come here? I anwsered to kill you. Then he called police and police wanted to take me to prison but after explaining why I wanted to do that they put me in mental asylum. In that asylum I met man who though that he was Napoleon Bonaparte but that isn't very important to the story. Anyways I escaped the asylom by using bananas and apples and spoon. I went back to P. E. Nis house and I saw A. S. S. Hole he said that P. E. Nis is serial killer. I became very angry so I made machine gun from steel and candy and potatoes. Then I shoot up P. E. Nis guy untill he died it took 2 hours to do that but anyways. Then I realised that there was mushroom on my head. I decided to remove it so I did that. Then the next thing I remember is that I woke up in hospital. The A. S. S. Hole guy said that removing mushrooms from my head might kill me and kill me then he dissapeared. No matter how weird that story was the weirdest thing about it and the thing that will blow your mind is that this story is real. End

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