Why Abraham Foulkes Really Deleted His Channel
Author's note: This story is a purely fictional funnypasta, and is therefore not intended to be taken seriously whatsoever. With that being said I hope you enjoy the story and please leave your thoughts and feelings in the comment section down below.
Does anyone here remember the semi-popular YouTuber reactor Abraham Foulkes? He was a YT reactor who started his channel back in 2014 and used it to react to several YouTube poops and the occasional movie trailer. His channel had well over 20,000 subs and he had posted a total of 72 reactions.
Unfortunately in September of 2018, Abraham Foulkes deleted his channel for no real reason. It later came out that Foulkes had deleted his channel due to being very busy with college, life, among other things. Many users began re-uploading his old reactions while others eagerly and worryingly await the day of the mighty Foulkes' return.
However what a lot of people don't know is that Abraham didn't delete his channel for any of the reasons listed above. No I'm afraid the real reason is far more sinister and far more smelly. Even smellier than Mr Krab's laundry basket.
Let us go back to September of 2018 shall we? Abraham Foulkes was at his Arizona college apartment and was deep in thought. He was troubled for he had not uploaded a single reaction for well over a year and his fans were getting worried. He had planned on returning sooner but far too busy with college and work. He decided that it was finally time for his return, and for this tremendous occasion he would react to a Caillou YTP.
He began filming his reaction and things seemed to be going well at first with Foulkes getting freaked out by Caillou eating slimy baked beans and Daddy getting gunned down by a smelly farmer. It was all good fun until Abraham heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was one of his college roommates asking for cups of tea and scones, Foulkes paused the video and left to go answer the door. When he opened the door however he saw a face he never excepted to see standing outside his door. It was BSL Reaction Asylum or Blood Spitting Lizard if you're a connoisseur of reaction videos you cheeky little chocolate digestive biscuit.
BSL came in accompanied by his right-hand man Ranger Bravo and a fellow reactor named Charmx who had stolen BSL's title as the king of YTP reactors. Despite this BSL and Charmx got on very well too well one could say but I digress.
Foulkes looked surprised before asking, "what are you doing here BSL?" BSL smiled a cunning smile before saying, "Abe you need to stop reacting to that YTP or else some bad things are going to happen." Abe looked puzzled before saying in a sarcastic tone,, "oh yeah well bad things always happen when Caillou is involved." "Abe this is serious." BSL said before continuing with, "you must stop reacting to that video before before..."
Before BSL could even finish his sentence the four men could hear the door behind them open up. Turning around Abraham Foulkes became face to face with his arch nemesis Caillou. "Oh no not you!" Abe cried at the top of his lungs as Caillou grabbed him and lifted him up into the air with his immense strength. "Let him go Caillou or I'll send Captain America after you!" Charmx yelled while throwing his Captain America bobble head at Caillou which as you might expect did absolutely nothing.
Caillou's eyes suddenly turned red and he shot lasers out of them at Charmx which ended up killing him. "CHARMX!" BSL and Ranger Bravo cried in despair while Abe snickered behind a snickers bar. "What do you want with me Caillou!?" Abe hysterically cried. Caillou looked at Abe with an evil grin before saying, "you keep reacting to YTP's of me and laugh in my face. I'm sick of it. I'm gonna kill you along with those two fools BSL and Ranger Bravo." Ranger Bravo held up his hands before saying, "now hang on just a darn minute I never reacted to any Caillou YTP's." Ranger Bravo was quickly silenced when Caillou threw a brick at him which somehow didn't affect Bravo in the slightest apart from making him shut up.
Caillou threw Abe down onto the floor before continuing to speak with, "I'm just a good kid and those YTP's keep making a mockery of me and my Daddy. You reacting to them allows YTP creators to keep making more and more of them. Now I'm gonna kill you and your friends." Abe laughed before asking, "oh yeah you and what army?" As sudden Abe said that the door to the apartment swung open again with Caillou's backup coming in. His backup consisted of Caillou's Daddy, Caillou's Grandpa, SpongeBob, Squidward, Rainbow Dash, and Michael Rosen. "Hello!" Michael Rosen proclaimed happily! Foulkes sighed before saying, "oh that army." Upon seeing Rainbow Dash, BSL cried, "WHY IS MY LITTLE PONY IN EVERYTHING!?"
Suddenly the fight of all fights began with Abe, BSL, and Ranger Bravo trying their best to defeat the forces of the evil Caillou. "It's been awhile Mr Rosen." Abe said to which Michael Rosen replied with, "I peed in your soup I enjoyed doing it too." "Oh that's kind of harsh don't you think?" Abe asked while kicking Rosen in the chest but it had no effect whatsoever.
BSL meanwhile was fighting SpongeBob and Squidward. "Take this!" Squidward yelled before pulling out his clarinet and began using the power of music to try and kill BSL. "That was unnecessary." BSL cried while putting on his handy dandy headphones but they were no use in drowning out the horrid sounds of Squidward's clarinet. SpongeBob then appeared behind BSL and whacked him over the head with his spatula causing BSL to fall to the floor in pain.
Ranger Bravo on the other hand was hiding from Rainbow Dash. For he could not bring himself to fight one of his favourite ponies. "I promise this is going to be totally awesome!" Dash proclaimed while throwing away the sofa which Ranger was hiding behind. "No Dash you can't kill one of your biggest fans." Rainbow Dash suddenly realised what she was doing and said, "you're right what the heck am I doing?" Caillou appeared behind Dash and said, "you fool Rainbow Crash do your fricking job!" "Nobody calls me Crash!" Rainbow Dash proclaimed angrily while charging into Caillou.
While Rainbow Dash and Caillou fought to the death, Ranger Bravo was then targeted by Caillou's Daddy and Grandpa. "It's taking a shit." Caillou's Grandpa said rather nonchalantly while throwing penguins at Ranger. "Ah!" Ranger cringed while getting hit by the penguins. Ranger Bravo eventually managed to regroup with Abe and BSL who were all huddled in a corner along with Rainbow Dash who had been easily defeated by Caillou. "It's no use BSL we're all dead!" Abe cried as BSL laughed before saying, "you wanna have backup Caillou? Well two can play at that game."
All of the sudden the roof of the college was lifted by Mr Potato from Peppa Pig. "Did someone say my name?" Mr Potato asked. "No they didn't." Mr Chaos said who was accompanied by his wife Twilight Sparkle. The rest of BSL's backup included Patrick Star, Buzz Lightyear, Dr Nefario, and Hudge The Biker. "Road rage boys!" Hudge yelled angrily while running Michael Rosen over with his motorcycle. "Oh no!" Michael Rosen cried whilst getting run over.
Suddenly a motherducking pirate ship crashed into the apartment complex with Colonel Dodo sliding down an anchor into the living room. He was accompanied by his accountant Captain Hook who sure does love settling accounts. "Oh not Dodo no!" Mr Chaos cried. You see Mr Chaos was fully aware of Colonel Dodo's horrible singing. Colonel Dodo also had extremely bad hearing and was desperate for fish and chips. "Whoa sail away with me boys." Colonel Dodo said while rapping away with BSL. "BSL what the fuck are you doing!?" Foulkes cried as BSL stopped getting distracted and continued to help Abe and his cohorts fight against the evil forces of the even eviler Caillou.
With BSL's backup, the fight became much more on his and Abe's side with Michael Rosen getting poisoned with laxatives by Mr Chaos who was fully aware of Michael's horrible bathroom trouble, Squidward's clarinet was eaten by Patrick, and Caillou's Daddy was thrown out of the window by Rainbow Dash and Twilight. Daddy fell 100 feet to the ground below and asked, "hey where's Caillou?"
Suddenly the blue sky above Abe and his gang turned grey as rain began to violently pour and thunder clouds began to form. "Call in the Wonderbolts!" Dash cried to Twilight who made a hasty call to the Wonderbolts Headquarters. The Wonderbolts showed up but were incredibly useless as Caillou killed them all in two seconds flat with his eye lasers.
Abe was cornered by SpongeBob when an idea struck his head. "Say SpongeBob why did you call Patrick Rick?" SpongeBob looked puzzled before asking, "what the scallops you talking about Foulkes? I never called Patrick...." Before SpongeBob could even elaborate further he was picked up by Patrick who yelled, "MY NAME'S NOT RICK!!!!!!!!!!!" Patrick then ate SpongeBob in one bite which caused him to pull a dreaded face like someone does after downing an incredibly smelly prune smoothie before the road trip to New York City which could result in their promotion to executive.
Suddenly, Caillou began to grow taller and taller. He rose to an astonishing 500 feet tall. "Time to die Abraham Foulkes!" Caillou proclaimed while holding up his massive boot to stomp Abe with. "Not today Zurg!" Buzz proclaimed while throwing some bricks at Caillou's face stunning him for a brief moment. Buzz then proceeded to throw a lightsabre at Foulkes. "What's this for?" Abe asked while marvelling his lightsabre which colour was blue btw. "You have to be the one to kill Caillou Abe. That's how the prophecy goes." BSL explained. "Prophecy? What prophecy?" Before BSL could answer Abe's question Caillou regained his strength and began stomping around the apartment in a mad fashion.
Caillou's Grandpa was picked up by Caillou and placed onto his shoulder. "I never liked you Abraham Foulkes from the moment you first reacted to a YTP of me!" Caillou yelled angrily as his voice had become loud and demonic sounding. "How the heck we supposed to kill him guys?" Ranger Bravo asked in a panic. "Leave it to me." Ted Glen said as he entered the apartment carrying a newspaper. He then revealed himself to be holding a magic wand and used to make Abraham Foulkes rise to be 500 feet tall just like Caillou. "It's our time to shine!" Ranger Bravo proclaimed happily as the group climbed onto Abe's shoulders well apart from Colonel Dodo who was busy eating fish and chips with Sir Topham Hatt and the conductor while Thomas meanwhile died from indigestion. The fish and chips was Abe's dinner. The rude carrot onions.
Abe and Caillou grabbed each other in a massive wrestling match with Abe yelling, "No more Caillou!" Caillou laughed before saying, "you fool Abraham I've almost won!" "No!" Abe yelled as he pulled out the lightsabre only to find out that Caillou had his own lightsabre which was red in colour. "Now then where were we?" Caillou asked as he and Abe began engaging in a violent lightsabre duel. "We've got to help Abe and fast!" Dr Nefario cried while attempting to fly towards Caillou on his scooter bike only to get killed by Caillou's Grandpa who was wielding a shotgun. "YOU!" Mr Chaos yelled as he forced Buzz to shoot his laser at Caillou's Grandpa. "Careful with that son it's extremely dangerous!" Buzz cried in despair as Caillou's Grandpa burned to death because of the lasers setting him on fire.
For some reason the fire as well as his grandpa's death didn't really seem to bother Caillou in the slightest as he was far too preoccupied with fighting Abraham Foulkes to notice. Suddenly Rainbow Dash and Twilight began crashing and flying around Caillou causing him to start swatting at them as if they were only bothersome flies. Ranger Bravo and Mr Chaos meanwhile hitched a ride on Hudge's motorbike and used it to ride across Caillou's shoulders which again made him become very distracted. Meanwhile Colonel Dodo and Captain Hook began crashing their ship into Caillou's legs making him begin to lose his balance. Abe laughed. This was his chance. "Now Abe!" BSL cried as Abe threw his lightsabre right into Caillou's chest with going all the way through to the other side.
Caillou pulled the lightsabre out of his chest and cried, "nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" "Like I said no more Caillou not now not ever." Abe said confidently as Caillou began falling towards the floor with blood violently pouring out of his chest. Caillou fell to the floor dead in a pool of blood and proceed to crash through all the floors of the apartment complex to the very bottom where he eventually shrunk to his original size. Abe too shrunk to his original size and headed downstairs in order to truly make sure that Caillou truly was dead.
BSL and the others accompanied Abe to Caillou's dead corpse. Abe turned to face BSL and asked, "so is it really over?" "Yes but..." BSL was interrupted as Abe asked, "but what?" BSL coughed nervously before saying. "sorry to say this Abe but even with Caillou dead his spirit is still out there. You can only longer make YTP reactions of any kind." Abe looked furious before asking, "you're kidding me right? I mean Caillou is dead that should be it right?"
Mr Chaos dusted himself off before saying, "it should be. Unfortunately with Caillou dead you can't react to anymore YTP's." "May I ask why?" Abe asked and BSL responded with, "you see for some reason your reactions angered the Great YTP Gods and they informed Caillou of your reactions to YTP's regarding him. They gave him the power and resources to come after you. They were the reason he was able to grow to be 500 feet, have laser beams for eyes, and so on and so forth."
Abe sat down on a nearby chair and asked, "the Great YTP Gods eh? Well why don't they come after you, Chaos, and Ranger?" It was Ranger Bravo who answered him with, "the Gods hate you most of all because you always react to Caillou YTP's. Caillou is a good friend of theirs and the reaction video you were going to post was enough to push them over the edge." Abe looked at Ranger and said, "so what you're saying is that basically even though I killed Caillou he still won in the end." Ranger looked down before saying, "I hate to say it but you're right."
Caillou's Daddy then appeared from underneath some of the rubble and asked. "hey where's Caillou?" Mr Chaos pulled an incredibly pissed off face and yelled, "he's dead can't you see that!?" Caillou's Daddy looked at Caillou's dead body for a few seconds before jumping in the air as the song I'm Walking on Sunshine somehow began playing in the background. "Caillou is dead! I'm finally free!" Caillou's Daddy proclaimed as he was picked up by James Norrington and the local Governor who asked, "are you accepting the commodore's proposal?" "Yes I am!" Caillou's Daddy proclaimed happily as the trio disappeared into the sunset. Patrick for some bizarre reason began chasing after them and ran all the way towards the sun. Never to be seen again.
That evening Abe said his goodbyes to everyone with Chaos going back to Ponyville with Twilight and Rainbow Dash. "See you around Abe." Chaos said as he and Abe exchanged a friendly hug. Ranger Bravo said his goodbyes and went back home, Buzz went back to Bonnie's room after saying his goodbyes, and so on and so forth. The last person to leave was BSL himself who gave Abe a last piece of advise. "I want you to delete your channel and never look back." BSL warned as Abe nodded slowly. "See you around Blood Spitting Lizard." Abe said as BSL suddenly grew wings and proceeded to fly towards his home.
Sitting back in his computer chair, Abe took one final look at his channel as a tear fell from his eye. He then slowly and reluctantly licked the delete channel button and with that fatal button click Abraham Foulkes's YT channel was no more.
It all worked out just fine, Abe went back to college and somehow no one ever questioned him about the damages he and Caillou caused with their fight. He moved into a new apartment complex and slowly moved on with his life. While he still misses his channel Abe knows it was the right thing to do as he did not want to face the wrath of the Great YTP Gods. He also lied about the reasons behind his absence after being advised to do it by BSL.
Abe still thinks about his YT channel every night when he goes to sleep and every morning when he wakes up. Maybe one day he could return. Maybe he could do some other content aside from reacting? Whatever the case maybe Abraham Foulkes will always remember being the king of YTP reactions. He will always remember that.
Credited to Bruno Tattagllia
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