Why my balls hurt

Okay. Let's just cut to the chase. For 2 weeks. I had some weird syndrome that happens when I go outside. My balls are either crushed, shot, punched, or kicked. Let me explain the rest of the story, so one night I was trying to sleep when something happened. I saw the crappy stereotypical ghost. The ghost dropped an anvil on my balls and I tried to go to the doctor and while I was trying to go to the doctor, I saw that same ghost with military gear holding a sniper rifle. He shot my balls again, and it hurt so. Now, I was brought to the hospital and I went back home and the ghost kicked my balls while I was in the bathroom. I finally decided to go to the doctor again after the ghost did the naruto run and punched my balls again. After I visited the doctor, I learned I had ball-destroying ghost syndrome and the only way I could be cured was to show it pictures of a fat whale, so I went back to my house, and it tried to throw a grenade at my balls, but I showed it the pictures. Then it screeched and vanished. Now I can finally be at peace and my balls are no longer in constant fear of being destroyed.

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